ADHD Help please!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sunril, Oct 14, 2009.

  1. sunril

    sunril New Member

    Hi Everyone
    I am brand new to this and looking for advice. My son's grade 2 teacher came to me, the first week of school and said that she would gurantee me that he had ADHD. She said that he has problems with squirmming in his chair, paying attention thinks without acting etc. I have taken him to one doctor who did not talk to him at all just me he then said mild adhd and tries to push pills on me. I said that there must be something that can be done other than pills he said that no there was not and if i did not do this that i would be setting him up for a life of failure. Those words go straight to the heart of course I want to help in any way that I can but I feel that I am at a dead end. They are doing a physiological evalution at school to find out ways that would be more progressive for him to pay attention etc. I personally am not sure that he has adhd. yes he has problems squirming, listening, will stand in a line and if given a ball throw it in the air and catch it but then again all kids or most anyway at that age will or a boy anyway so not sure that that is impulsive. He has a 17month old sister and always thinks befroe acting when she is around. He is behind on reading though and the teacher says it is because he cannot pay attention. SO what I am trying to get across here is I beleive that he hates his teacher this year, he has stated that in those exact words, has requested to go to another school and he does realize that his friends will not be there, he says this almost daily, says his teacher is mean, yells at him, he use to be a happy boy now cries at the drop of a pin thinks that everyone is against him or blaming him. Last year his report cards came back each time with problems pying attention and taking directions but never any suggestions when asked how we can help. Never brough up that he was behind at all last year except the second last day in class before summer holidays for reading. He always says that reading is boring and he hates it.

    Do you think that he is adhd or could he be a active boy which he always has been this is not new and when i threw out the term adhd last yr it was not a concern to that teacher. Or could this be that he really truely hates his teacher and is acting out because of it. She does treat male sudents differently then females I have seen this and is use to teaching grade 5 and 6 students for nearly 40 years and is now for the last 2-3 years in grade 2 so had high expectations for younger kids. She did have a boy last year whose parents took him out of the school due to him being her target she ever suggested adhd to him though just always negative.

    My son does awesome in spelling and the only two tests this yr so far he got 6/6 and 7/7 and she said to me and him you did okay we will see how well you can write them in a sentence next week. Should have said excellent work and left the smart comment out of it it brings down his confidence.

    So sorry it was a novel but i am very concerned and want to be able to help him anyway I can.
    Thank you,:D
  2. maril

    maril New Member

    School staff may give you helpful information about your child but cannot "diagnose" ADHD. We have had well-meaning teachers over the years push for my son to take medications but, again, teachers cannot diagnose or push medications.

    It sounds like the doctor you took him to is a pediatrician? You might want to look for a specialist to evaluate your son. Do a search on these boards -- there is lots of helpful and good information here regarding next steps for getting an evaluation for a child, who struggles with attention, etc. For example, suggestions have been made to have an evaluation by a pediatric neuropsychologist and here is a thread regarding that:

    You mentioned the school is doing a physiological evaluation (psychological, maybe)?

    I would guess there are differences between Canada, where you live, and the US, where I live, and hope my suggestions are helpful. Maybe someone on these boards, who is from Canada, will come along and shed some light.

    Good luck! Keep us posted. I see your post is from a week ago, so I hope your are still checking in and have maybe found some information from the boards, otherwise. :D
  3. maril

    maril New Member

    Last edited: Oct 21, 2009
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Sunril, I moved this thread over to the 'General' forum, instead of Natural Treatments.

    If the teacher is suggesting that he has adhd, then write to your school district asking that he be evaluated. Then ask for an IEP based on the findings of the evaluation. Perhaps getting him out of certain subjects and placement in a specialized reading class or math class would help the tension between him and the teacher and also help him focus. I'm not sure how the Canadian school system works, just sort of going by what happens here in the states.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there and welcome to the board, but sorry you had to find us. :tongue:

    Educators do not have degrees in childhood disorders. She can't guarantee you your child has squat because it's not her field of expertise. Sadly, many teachers push medications on kids that are maybe more difficult for them to teach, and I would pretty much ignore her diagnosis and suggestion.

    What I would do, because squirming and a short attention span, can mean many things BESIDES ADHD, is take her to a private (NOT SCHOOL) NeuroPsychologist for their 6-10 hour testing. They will do a better job than the school and are not biased toward one diagnosis. I doubt the teacher even knows all the different issues that could be involved.

    I have a few questions: How was his early development? Did he talk on time? Does he make good eye contact? Is he socially appropriate? Does he have an quirks or obsessive interests? Does he ever act out or rage?

    Put the teacher's bold opinion, which is all it is, on the backburner and find our yourself what is wrong with your child. And don't medicate him if you don't feel he should have medications. I don't like stimulants myself. My teenage daughter abused them (they are a big abused drug for teens).

    Inattentiveness could stem from many things. My daughter has trouble paying attention, but doesn't have ADHD. She has an auditory processing problem. My son also has trouble paying attention. He has Aspergers Syndrome. If this teacher had diagnosed MY child, I would have politely told her that I'll take him to a PROFESSIONAL who is in the field and that I'd prefer she not diagnose my kid. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    Welcome again!!! Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
  6. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    Both my #1 son and #3 son were identified as ADHD. I ended up giving #1 medication, but #3 is doing OK without it. Although I would not hesitate to give it to #3 if needed.

    The Dr. is not correct in stating that the only thing that can be done for ADHD is medication. However, it is the only thing that HE can do. The rest must be done by you and the school. There are many strategies that the school can employ to help your son. Don't be afraid of the diagnoses, for my son it provided the school with the documentation they needed to provide him the "reasonable accommodations" he needed. This includes things like a break on standardized testing, a special chair cushion that allows him to wiggle without causing issues. Assistants getting his stuff organized ect. All things that are not medication, but sometimes requires extra resources. They need a diagnoses to justify them.

    But also don't wholly dismiss the medication. For my first son, I fought the idea of medicating him for a year. I ended up talking with teachers, parents and near adult kids with ADHD. What changed my mind enough to at least give it a try was a discussion with a young 18 yr old who was actually angry at his parents for not giving him the medication earlier in his life. He felt that if they had provided it, he would not have gotten in as much trouble as he had.

    Effective ADHD medication does not zombie out a kid, it only allows them to focuses and pay attention better. If the child sits still, is quiet, and does not focus the medication is not working. For my first son, I tested him. I sat him down without any medication one day and asked him to copy over sentences. He made 2 before screaming to be released. The next day I did the same thing with medication. He made 10, and still jumped at the chance to end the session. On the medication he was still active, and still had the same personality, but he could follow what the teacher was doing longer and did not struggle as much. His teacher said the actually talked more, because he was no longer afraid to contribute. For him it helped. (I still don't like it, but must admit it helped).

    There are lots of good books you can read to learn about ADHD. Lots of good strategies to use. Our county has a family community center that provides class on how to manage ADHD. Look for that type of thing.

    Good luck.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I sympathize with your concern as I have traveled that road a couple of times. Pediatricians are not in my humble opinion the place to seek assistance. Although I am sure there are some who are exceptionally knowledgeable...most only know what the pharmacutical reps tell them. He really needs to be evaluated by experts to see if that really is a problem.

    Unlike some on the Board I am pro medication IF you know that ADHD is the problem. Often, however, well meaning teachers and Pediatricians make identifications too fast. The key is quickly ascertaining what, if any, problem he has. In my experiences I have found that some parents are so afraid of medication that they delay intervention until after the child has already been unofficially "labeled" as a problem child....that is very difficult to overcome and can effect his perceptions of himself and the way he is received by peers.

    While you are actively seeking resolution you might benefit from reading on the CHADD site. They were pioneers in ADHD and the information available is extensive. Good luck. DDD
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    First of all, Welcome!! While most of us are not familiar with Canada's medical system, we do have a few canadian members. At some point they will likely give advice based more on your system than on ours here in the states.

    The teacher is VERY presumptive and has stepped WAY over her bounds. In the States saying a child has ADHD and needs medications would be a very STRONG case that the school would then have to pay for the docs and medications. I don't know that Canadian law would have the same ruling, but I have seen it happen here.

    What your son needs is a full evaluation. There are a LOT of things that can cause ADHD type behaviors. I think at least 90% of us started this merry go round with an ADHD diagnosis. It is often not the real problem.

    Personally, I am ALL for medications for ADHD - IF that is the right diagnosis. My oldest child has been on several ADHD medications. The stimulants let you know right away if they are working, which is good. They CAN be abused. Not every person on stimulants abuses them or sells them or goes on to abuse other drugs. They are a tool to help deal with a problem. Not right for everyone, not wrong for everyone.