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General Parenting
ADHD, ODD, ANXIETY, MILD INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY,,
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 56794" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>With anything like this - any challenge in life - you will find you change your friends. I first saw this when I became disabled. Friends I'd known for years suddenly couldn't look me in the eye. People I worked with (especially doctors) began to avoid me, as if afraid I was going to make demands on them that they cure me. Others became intensely curious about my health problems and made me feel like an insect under a microscope.</p><p></p><p>The friends who continued to accept me as I was and who put up with me as I went through a grieving process for what I had lost, were the true friends. And along the way I've made new friends.</p><p></p><p>It happens. You don't have to look for new friends; you will find them. Maybe you won't be so much a part of a social whirl but that is often a good thing when life is challenging. Fewer, truer friends is often better. And along the way you discover your own inner strengths.</p><p></p><p>I have a very few really close friends who simply don't understand. One extremely close friend keeps saying, "Why are you still doing so much for your kids? They're adults now, they should be living independently, holding down a good job in a career which will continue, instead of the dead-end job or pension they currently have."</p><p>I love my friend so I tend to avoid talking about things that I know will set her off. There is enough in other areas of our friendship to make me tolerate this gap in her understanding. My kids WILL get there but they are taking longer because they simply don't have the brain maturity YET where it counts. </p><p></p><p>Who DOES understand? People on this site. By dumping on people here, I no longer have such a desperate need to talk things through with friends who don't understand these things.</p><p></p><p>MWM suggested you do the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire - she beat me to it. With the list you gave describing your son, I would certainly be considering Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), if only to rule it out.</p><p></p><p>I did read all the replies but I'm not sure if anyone mentioned Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child". A darn good book in dealing with ODD-type symptoms. There is some discussion on this book in the Early Childhood forum.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 56794, member: 1991"] With anything like this - any challenge in life - you will find you change your friends. I first saw this when I became disabled. Friends I'd known for years suddenly couldn't look me in the eye. People I worked with (especially doctors) began to avoid me, as if afraid I was going to make demands on them that they cure me. Others became intensely curious about my health problems and made me feel like an insect under a microscope. The friends who continued to accept me as I was and who put up with me as I went through a grieving process for what I had lost, were the true friends. And along the way I've made new friends. It happens. You don't have to look for new friends; you will find them. Maybe you won't be so much a part of a social whirl but that is often a good thing when life is challenging. Fewer, truer friends is often better. And along the way you discover your own inner strengths. I have a very few really close friends who simply don't understand. One extremely close friend keeps saying, "Why are you still doing so much for your kids? They're adults now, they should be living independently, holding down a good job in a career which will continue, instead of the dead-end job or pension they currently have." I love my friend so I tend to avoid talking about things that I know will set her off. There is enough in other areas of our friendship to make me tolerate this gap in her understanding. My kids WILL get there but they are taking longer because they simply don't have the brain maturity YET where it counts. Who DOES understand? People on this site. By dumping on people here, I no longer have such a desperate need to talk things through with friends who don't understand these things. MWM suggested you do the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire - she beat me to it. With the list you gave describing your son, I would certainly be considering Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), if only to rule it out. I did read all the replies but I'm not sure if anyone mentioned Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child". A darn good book in dealing with ODD-type symptoms. There is some discussion on this book in the Early Childhood forum. Marg [/QUOTE]
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