ADHD, ODD, ANXIETY, MILD INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY,,

[ME & THE BOYS]

Hello......

I am new here. Effective today.

I don't know where to begin. I have a just turned seven year old, who I love to death, yet, is making my life very very stressful. Me and everyone else who lives in our home.

My poor handsome boy, has various diagnosis's......ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, anxiety, Mild Intellectual Disablity (which is lower in intelligence than one diagnosed with a Learning Disabiltiy), fine/gross motor skills difficulties, social skills difficulties,,,. With all my complaints of him, one might get the wrong impression of me. I do everything for him, but life with him is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. He is a hard child.

Before I write any further. Anyone out there feel they are in my shoes? Often one can't understand/relate unless they are.

HELP...................thank you and god bless.

TiredStressedMom

p.s. Not sure how I read replies here. How to get them.

[email protected]

 

[mattsmum]

I totally understand. I love my son more than anything...but life is very stressful in our house.

Please know you are not alone...

Linda

 

[panda]

more understanding here, my life feels like total chaos and hard times with my difficult child's. everyday brings something new. please don't feel like you are alone. sometimes there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you have one day, even one hour that is peaceful and take that time for yourself. amanda

 

[flutterbee]

I have days, weeks even, where I feel like all I do is complain about my difficult child and have to consciously remind myself that I do love her. She is my heart. When all you are dealing with are the behaviors day in and day out, it can be easy to forget that the behaviors are a symptom, not the whole of your child.

I think every member here can relate.

 

[TexasTornado]

Yes, I KNOW on this board you are NOT alone.
We can really relate to what you are feeling-we love our difficult child's so much, but that doesnt make it any easier in our homes to handle things etc-Know what I mean?? Its a going day by day here-thats abt all we can do -at least me anyway-to handle things...
You can feel safe here-I know I do.
Luvz,
Kathy

 

[TerryJ2]

Absolutely, I can relate... we can ALL relate!
Type away. We're here.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

We totally understand! You are in a place where we are all parents who love our children, but find them challenging at every turn.

It's nothing new here to be frustrated, disappointed, stressed-out, and exhausted with our little loves!

You've foudn the right place.

Welcome aboard.

Sharon

 

[BusynMember]

I understand. I have a son whose earliest diagnosis was:
ADHD/ODD/anxiety disorder/cognitive disability not otherwise specified/speech delay
He turned out to be on the autism spectrum, albeit high functioning, but it's hard to diagnosis. so he didn't get the diagnosis until he was 11. I'd take my son for a neuropsychologist exam if it were me, and I knew back then what I know now.
My son is now doing GREAT with all the help. Here's a test you can take to see if your son leans towards Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). YOu still need to print it out and show the results to a professional and, in my experience again, a neuropsychologist is best:
http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

Parents who I post with on a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) board feel it is very accurate, if your answers are honest. Is he in interventions at school? My son started them before he turned two! And he WAS NOT obviously on the autism spectrum. We pushed for them. My son did not respond to therapy because he didn't really "get" it. Now he's a happy kid--amazing what the right interventions and treatment can do. Good luck.

 

[Wiped Out]

Welcome,
As you can see you are not alone. My difficult child also has a slew of diagnosis's as you can see in my signature. You have reached a place where you will find much understanding and support-glad you found us.

 

[AllStressedOut]

I can totally relate, I have 3 boys who have diagnosed problems, ADHD, ODD, Social Anxiety Disorder. The stress drives me crazy and there are times I have to call my husband home from work during the summer because I just need a break. My friends don't understand what I go through because they don't have kids like mine. I feel alone often even though I have many friends who want to help, they just don't know how. Vent on here all you want, it makes me feel better reading others comments when they are thoughts I have myself. I'm new too, just found the board 2 days ago. Welcome!

 

[ME & THE BOYS]

Thank you for your replies.

Yep..........Parents that don't have children like ours often think it is our style of parenting. They have all the answers I find!

I often think that they believe I am exaggerated things/circumsances/situations. I WISH I WERE!

I don't know why I even talk to these "friends" of mine.

Do many of you find this also?

 

[Marguerite]

With anything like this - any challenge in life - you will find you change your friends. I first saw this when I became disabled. Friends I'd known for years suddenly couldn't look me in the eye. People I worked with (especially doctors) began to avoid me, as if afraid I was going to make demands on them that they cure me. Others became intensely curious about my health problems and made me feel like an insect under a microscope.

The friends who continued to accept me as I was and who put up with me as I went through a grieving process for what I had lost, were the true friends. And along the way I've made new friends.

It happens. You don't have to look for new friends; you will find them. Maybe you won't be so much a part of a social whirl but that is often a good thing when life is challenging. Fewer, truer friends is often better. And along the way you discover your own inner strengths.

I have a very few really close friends who simply don't understand. One extremely close friend keeps saying, "Why are you still doing so much for your kids? They're adults now, they should be living independently, holding down a good job in a career which will continue, instead of the dead-end job or pension they currently have."
I love my friend so I tend to avoid talking about things that I know will set her off. There is enough in other areas of our friendship to make me tolerate this gap in her understanding. My kids WILL get there but they are taking longer because they simply don't have the brain maturity YET where it counts.

Who DOES understand? People on this site. By dumping on people here, I no longer have such a desperate need to talk things through with friends who don't understand these things.

MWM suggested you do the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire - she beat me to it. With the list you gave describing your son, I would certainly be considering Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), if only to rule it out.

I did read all the replies but I'm not sure if anyone mentioned Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child". A darn good book in dealing with ODD-type symptoms. There is some discussion on this book in the Early Childhood forum.

Marg

 

[karyn818]

I am a 37 year old mom of 2. My son just turned 7 has ADHD/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)/ODD/Axiety. I put him on Concerta 3 months ago. It helped alot with the hyper and the focus but not the ODD (which we are working on at home without medicating him for that) The last few days he developed a tic but we are watching to see if its that hes not eating enought or what. He lost almost 10lbs so far and was not a fat kid to start out with. They say that the appetite comes back around 6 months but i do see some coming back. He is still difficult and the odd drives me nuts. its better with the medications but i am not sure how long that will last cause the dr may take him off cause of the recent tics although i am hoping they disappear. My house was in major termoil for 6 years. My husband almost left 1 1/2 years ago because he couldn't deal with it and didn't like being a dad, didn't like his job (still doesn't), didn't like having bills and thought it would be easier to leave but he didn't. I also had another baby during that time. She is 14 months now and I am hoping she doesn't have his disorders too.

 

[BusynMember]

repeat

 

[lizzie09]

Welcome too from me Lizzie. I have 4 sons.
My special son had late diagnosis of Prader Willi Syndrome.

He is basically easy but has had episodes of odd behaviours which would flatten anyones energy.

I look at him in times like that and I cannot see any sign of the child I love. He can even look different and at that stage I can really dislike him despite loving him so much also. It can drive a wedge between couples in any relationship because of conflicing opinions.

This is a wonderful site. You will enjoy it.