With all due respect... I disagree.
This is how the outside influences want you to believe, because it maximizes THEIR impact.
YOU don't have to go that way.
The answer is... to build really strong family bonds, if you can. (there's kids where that doesn't work... I know).
It means putting high priority on relationship building - rather than on fire-fighting. And yes, when we're presented with several dozen fires a day, how to get out of fire-fighting mode?
There is significant research out there that kids with strong family attachment do better in all aspects of life.
To do that, requires things that are not available to all families.
As a society, we have not made child-raising a priority - the adults get on with their lives, and the kids take what they get.
We have... absent dads (some moms), shared custody, shift-work, "away" work, two-parents-working, and so on... and no way to prevent any of this.
But the things that build the bond take TIME. It means family meals together - twice a day, most days, if possible (breakfast and supper). It means family activities, family interests. It means spending specific time with each child, just feeding the relationship.
Doing those things is really tough even if you have an intact nuclear family with some work flexibility and two kids that are not extremely hard to handle. (yes, two... it really helps. Each parent can take one... ). How on earth you do these things in other scenarios, I do not know.
What I CAN tell you is, it works.
Relationship building was one of the key things (medications adjustment and additional dxes and accommodations for school was another) that turned our difficult child around.
