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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="jeanne in CA" data-source="post: 627645" data-attributes="member: 18036"><p>Once again, thank you for your warm welcomes and best wishes. These are tough days. The detective told me today that he thinks that once he gets a couple more search warrants executed and the information integrated into his report that the DA will give them the go ahead to at least bring her in for questioning and possible charges. Part of the reason everything has been so slow is because all of the documents I got directly from the institutions and gave to the police, the police now have to backtrack and get them directly from the institutions themselves in order to avoid challenges in court. I understand this especially in the case if ID theft but it literally adds months to an investigation. They also said that if the FBI were involved (because I asked about that from the beginning) that it would add about double the time. </p><p> </p><p>One of the many things I struggle with that perhaps some of you may have already been through is the question of who to tell what and when. At first we told no one except two very close cousins of mine who were helping my husband and me cope with the initial devsstation. Later, as it became necessary, I told other close relatives. It became necessary because they were always asking about her and her husband and baby and for the fact that I never went back East to visit family without her. Suddenly, for them, it seemed odd that she was not around anymore and I realized that if I was not careful, she would turn me into a liar also. The irony was not lost on me. There were several reasons we did not want to tell the family, first several of my closest ones are elderly siblings of my parents and I knew they would be absolutely stunned and worried sick about us. They all had some health issues and we certainly did not want to bring them any harm. ON the other hand, I just couldn't keep up the lies about why she was no longer around so I finally broke down and explained it to them. They were every bit as devastated as I knew they would be but they were very appreciative that I told them the truth. They were also very supportive of our decision to prosecute her. </p><p> </p><p>The hardest person I had to tell was my older brother who had actually loaned me $20,000 when my husband and I bought a second home in PA so that I could be close to the rest of my family after losing both my parents. My parents had left us a little bit of money, and that, combined with what I had saved after I retired from the State for unused vacation, enabled us to buy a second home there for cash. On the day of closing on the property, I ended up $20,000 short because supposedly the credit union where some of the money was had screwed up the wire they were supposed to send. I had proof of the wire request and proof that funds were in the account. The credit union promised me via letters and emails that they would get that stratightened out within a week or so. My daugher was at the closing meeting with me and I was nearly hysterical with being short of funds and not being able to close. My brother was the only one in the family who could help and he did. She let me ask him for the loan for no more than 10 days with the promise that I had the money to pay him back. Needless to say, I found out later that she had already stolen the money from the credit union, had forged the emails and statements from the credit union representatives, and allowed me to ask my brother for $20,000 that I could not repay. Over the course of the next two years, I tried to get money from our other accounts (IRAS, 401Ks, savings, etc.) and met with road blocks everywhere. My relationship with my brother deteriorated dramatically as anyone could understand. He thought I had lied to him. I was sick every day with worry on how I was going to get my money out of these different insitutions where I knew I had it. Long story short, she had stolen it all everywhere and created elaborate coverups that are still amazing the police with their complexity and elaborate nature. </p><p> </p><p>Once I told my brother what had happened, my husband and I made arrangements to pay him back in payments even after we filed bankruptcy. Three months ago, we paid off everything and I had to beg him to accept interest on the loan. He finally did. Regardless of what she does with her life and what she had done to her dad and me, I can't imaging ever forgiving her for what I did to my brother. </p><p> </p><p>Back to the point, we are now to the point where other friends and family are asking about her and I am not sure what to tell. For those we see seldom, I think we will just stick to the "she's fine, thanks for asking." But, even that may have to change eventually. It is not unreasonable at all that this will get some press coverage and I don't even want to think about how awful that will be. But in the meantime, we have other people that we see more often and have still not told. It feels dishonest on one hand but on the other hand, the story is so sordid and we are so humilliated and ashamed that we are not anxious to share it. Any suggestions? Again, sorry this is so long but, as I've said, a lot has happened and there is a lot to cover. Thank you all so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeanne in CA, post: 627645, member: 18036"] Once again, thank you for your warm welcomes and best wishes. These are tough days. The detective told me today that he thinks that once he gets a couple more search warrants executed and the information integrated into his report that the DA will give them the go ahead to at least bring her in for questioning and possible charges. Part of the reason everything has been so slow is because all of the documents I got directly from the institutions and gave to the police, the police now have to backtrack and get them directly from the institutions themselves in order to avoid challenges in court. I understand this especially in the case if ID theft but it literally adds months to an investigation. They also said that if the FBI were involved (because I asked about that from the beginning) that it would add about double the time. One of the many things I struggle with that perhaps some of you may have already been through is the question of who to tell what and when. At first we told no one except two very close cousins of mine who were helping my husband and me cope with the initial devsstation. Later, as it became necessary, I told other close relatives. It became necessary because they were always asking about her and her husband and baby and for the fact that I never went back East to visit family without her. Suddenly, for them, it seemed odd that she was not around anymore and I realized that if I was not careful, she would turn me into a liar also. The irony was not lost on me. There were several reasons we did not want to tell the family, first several of my closest ones are elderly siblings of my parents and I knew they would be absolutely stunned and worried sick about us. They all had some health issues and we certainly did not want to bring them any harm. ON the other hand, I just couldn't keep up the lies about why she was no longer around so I finally broke down and explained it to them. They were every bit as devastated as I knew they would be but they were very appreciative that I told them the truth. They were also very supportive of our decision to prosecute her. The hardest person I had to tell was my older brother who had actually loaned me $20,000 when my husband and I bought a second home in PA so that I could be close to the rest of my family after losing both my parents. My parents had left us a little bit of money, and that, combined with what I had saved after I retired from the State for unused vacation, enabled us to buy a second home there for cash. On the day of closing on the property, I ended up $20,000 short because supposedly the credit union where some of the money was had screwed up the wire they were supposed to send. I had proof of the wire request and proof that funds were in the account. The credit union promised me via letters and emails that they would get that stratightened out within a week or so. My daugher was at the closing meeting with me and I was nearly hysterical with being short of funds and not being able to close. My brother was the only one in the family who could help and he did. She let me ask him for the loan for no more than 10 days with the promise that I had the money to pay him back. Needless to say, I found out later that she had already stolen the money from the credit union, had forged the emails and statements from the credit union representatives, and allowed me to ask my brother for $20,000 that I could not repay. Over the course of the next two years, I tried to get money from our other accounts (IRAS, 401Ks, savings, etc.) and met with road blocks everywhere. My relationship with my brother deteriorated dramatically as anyone could understand. He thought I had lied to him. I was sick every day with worry on how I was going to get my money out of these different insitutions where I knew I had it. Long story short, she had stolen it all everywhere and created elaborate coverups that are still amazing the police with their complexity and elaborate nature. Once I told my brother what had happened, my husband and I made arrangements to pay him back in payments even after we filed bankruptcy. Three months ago, we paid off everything and I had to beg him to accept interest on the loan. He finally did. Regardless of what she does with her life and what she had done to her dad and me, I can't imaging ever forgiving her for what I did to my brother. Back to the point, we are now to the point where other friends and family are asking about her and I am not sure what to tell. For those we see seldom, I think we will just stick to the "she's fine, thanks for asking." But, even that may have to change eventually. It is not unreasonable at all that this will get some press coverage and I don't even want to think about how awful that will be. But in the meantime, we have other people that we see more often and have still not told. It feels dishonest on one hand but on the other hand, the story is so sordid and we are so humilliated and ashamed that we are not anxious to share it. Any suggestions? Again, sorry this is so long but, as I've said, a lot has happened and there is a lot to cover. Thank you all so much. [/QUOTE]
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