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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627700" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>One last word on who to tell.</p><p></p><p>It isn't good to keep things bottled up either. Telling strangers, outside the World of YOU is in my opinion best. That's why I said a therapist is good. He will not tell anyone and can be objective and is not invested in your life. He will be calm and not overly emotional and certainly won't throw dirt in your face. </p><p></p><p>There is always someone in the midst of family and friends (usually more than one) who actually secretly enjoy hearing about the drama; maybe are even personality-disordered themselves and enjoy your hurt...if anything gets to them, and they have a way of finding out things, then you will quadruple your angst and get sidetracked.</p><p></p><p>Like the others said, you are not yet ready to know who to tell, if anyone at all. You are still in shock. This is YOUR tragedy, nobody else's, and you and husband need to guard yourselves with love so that you are not hurt by any more people. A simple "We're not ready to share" is sufficient if anyone asks you anything. And then don't. Walk away. Leave. Hang up. You're busy...someone is at the door. </p><p></p><p>Like Scent, I have spoken too much to too many and violated my own boundaries. I call it my own diarrhea of the mouth and, boy, have I been sorry. By the time the tenth person has come to me asking about my story (somebody I haven't told first hand) the story doesn't resemble anything of the truth. And since I get so emotional while talking to my "confidante" half the time I can't remember what I said so I don't even know if I relayed the story coherently. I have learned that others, including family and friends, have to earn my trust in order to hear my secrets and I go by past behavior because I don't believe people magically change. When I have big issues, and I do, I talk to my therapist. Very few people in my town even know I have a thirty-six year old son who has caused me endless grief. I don't discuss him very often and he lives in Missouri, which is several states away and he never travels here. There is no reason for anyone who lives here to know about him. I really am not up to the normal questions: "So what does your son do? Is he a nice young man?" That sort of thing. I can avoid having to lie or evade by not discussing him at all. So I don't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627700, member: 1550"] One last word on who to tell. It isn't good to keep things bottled up either. Telling strangers, outside the World of YOU is in my opinion best. That's why I said a therapist is good. He will not tell anyone and can be objective and is not invested in your life. He will be calm and not overly emotional and certainly won't throw dirt in your face. There is always someone in the midst of family and friends (usually more than one) who actually secretly enjoy hearing about the drama; maybe are even personality-disordered themselves and enjoy your hurt...if anything gets to them, and they have a way of finding out things, then you will quadruple your angst and get sidetracked. Like the others said, you are not yet ready to know who to tell, if anyone at all. You are still in shock. This is YOUR tragedy, nobody else's, and you and husband need to guard yourselves with love so that you are not hurt by any more people. A simple "We're not ready to share" is sufficient if anyone asks you anything. And then don't. Walk away. Leave. Hang up. You're busy...someone is at the door. Like Scent, I have spoken too much to too many and violated my own boundaries. I call it my own diarrhea of the mouth and, boy, have I been sorry. By the time the tenth person has come to me asking about my story (somebody I haven't told first hand) the story doesn't resemble anything of the truth. And since I get so emotional while talking to my "confidante" half the time I can't remember what I said so I don't even know if I relayed the story coherently. I have learned that others, including family and friends, have to earn my trust in order to hear my secrets and I go by past behavior because I don't believe people magically change. When I have big issues, and I do, I talk to my therapist. Very few people in my town even know I have a thirty-six year old son who has caused me endless grief. I don't discuss him very often and he lives in Missouri, which is several states away and he never travels here. There is no reason for anyone who lives here to know about him. I really am not up to the normal questions: "So what does your son do? Is he a nice young man?" That sort of thing. I can avoid having to lie or evade by not discussing him at all. So I don't. [/QUOTE]
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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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