Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Adult daughter stole entire life savings
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="jeanne in CA" data-source="post: 627798" data-attributes="member: 18036"><p>"Dazed and confused"- I cannot even imagine having a parent like yours. I think one of the things that has kept me partially sane throughout this entire ordeal is the fact that I had incredibly parents and I believe that they are helping me through this from wherever they are. Our parents are supposed to be our rock and foundation. Mine were so I had absolutely no frame of reference for the type of behavior our daughter has displayed. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.</p><p> </p><p>"Child of mine"- On the bail issue, I assume she will try to get bail somewhere. We certainly don't have the money and would not put up money if we did. That would be stupid and hopefully we are beyond being stupid. I intend to talk to the psychiatrist tomorrow about what kind of behavior we can expect from her once she is confronted by the police and in the meantime we are taking every precaution on basic security. </p><p> </p><p>"Dammit Janet"- I know exactly what you mean in terms of having to do the work for the police. In our situation, they admit they would never have unraveled the mess. I am sure that must have been so hard on you. </p><p> </p><p>"-Layne"- thank you for your question and I appreciate so much the obvious hope you have that she might not be the one responsible. Trust me she is. I have tied much of the money back to her own accounts or to my accounts where she was spending it from and then producing fraudulent statements showing that it was still in my account. I have obtained withdrawal forms with her writing on them and her dad's and my forged signatures. I have obtained copies of checks stolen from my checkbook with my forged signature and bank records of where she deposited the money. I have accessed, through a relative, her Facebook account and printed out over 300 pages of pictures and messages for the police where she wrote about where she was and what she was buying and then I tied those trips and purchases directly back to my bank accounts. That is just to name a few examples. Some of the most compelling evidence, however, is her own handwritten notes to me about some of these banks and credit card companies where she supposedly talked to people on my behalf while I was working on other financial emergencies. I have learned that none of the people she supposedly talked to even exist. The problems were so numerous that I simply could not handle them all alone and she kept telling me she would help me get them resolved. That is not to mention the hundreds and hundreds of emails from "bankers" telling me that the problems on my accounts were result of their own errors and they were so apologetic as they promised they were working on them. By tracing the IP addresses, I discovered that they did not come from places like NY and South Dakota where they were supposed to be from. Rather, they came from her locations. Oh my, I could go on and on but you get the picture. Regardless, thank you for asking about whether we were absolutely sure. The answer is that we are absolutely, totally, and heartbreakingly sure. </p><p> </p><p>In terms of our financial situation, we were in doing well before her thefts and cover-ups. My husband and I had worked hard for many years, and planned for retirement and our future. We had managed our money so that we lived well----but we also lived well within our means. We had saved our entire lives. We had personal savings, IRAs 401Ks, investment accounts, and healthy balances in checking accounts. In addition, we had both received lump sums from the State for unused vacation and I had inherited several thousand dollars after my parents died. (That money was the result of selling the family farm and my mother’s death and was particularly precious to me. I had told our daughter that I considered that money sacred and I wanted to use it for something very, very special. I found out she got 35,000 from that account alone.)</p><p>Our values were basic. Work hard, save for the future, and family is foremost. Our parents were farmers and immigrants who worked hard and earned every penny they ever had. Our values were in our DNA, inherited from parents who never had it easy and never squandered what they earned. My own dad once said that if he never taught his kids another thing, he would teach them how to work. He knew that through work came self-sufficiency and self-esteem. We tried to teach our daughter the same lesson. Obviously it didn't stick.</p><p> </p><p>I have come to the conclusion that prosecuting our daughter is a gift. It gives her a chance to start over and change her ways if she chooses to do so. If she doesn't there is nothing we can do about it. The harsh reality is that we really have had no choice. Once we discovered the identity theft, we either had to report her to the police or pay the bills. Paying the bills was never an option because she had emptied out all of our accounts except for about $2000 in her father’s account that she had not managed to appropriate. She left me with $42 dollars. On top of the over $300,000 she stole, she left us with over $100,000 in mortgage and credit card debt. Getting a loan was not an option because she had irrevocably ruined our credit. Prosecuting her is all we can do. It is love at its toughest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeanne in CA, post: 627798, member: 18036"] "Dazed and confused"- I cannot even imagine having a parent like yours. I think one of the things that has kept me partially sane throughout this entire ordeal is the fact that I had incredibly parents and I believe that they are helping me through this from wherever they are. Our parents are supposed to be our rock and foundation. Mine were so I had absolutely no frame of reference for the type of behavior our daughter has displayed. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. "Child of mine"- On the bail issue, I assume she will try to get bail somewhere. We certainly don't have the money and would not put up money if we did. That would be stupid and hopefully we are beyond being stupid. I intend to talk to the psychiatrist tomorrow about what kind of behavior we can expect from her once she is confronted by the police and in the meantime we are taking every precaution on basic security. "Dammit Janet"- I know exactly what you mean in terms of having to do the work for the police. In our situation, they admit they would never have unraveled the mess. I am sure that must have been so hard on you. "-Layne"- thank you for your question and I appreciate so much the obvious hope you have that she might not be the one responsible. Trust me she is. I have tied much of the money back to her own accounts or to my accounts where she was spending it from and then producing fraudulent statements showing that it was still in my account. I have obtained withdrawal forms with her writing on them and her dad's and my forged signatures. I have obtained copies of checks stolen from my checkbook with my forged signature and bank records of where she deposited the money. I have accessed, through a relative, her Facebook account and printed out over 300 pages of pictures and messages for the police where she wrote about where she was and what she was buying and then I tied those trips and purchases directly back to my bank accounts. That is just to name a few examples. Some of the most compelling evidence, however, is her own handwritten notes to me about some of these banks and credit card companies where she supposedly talked to people on my behalf while I was working on other financial emergencies. I have learned that none of the people she supposedly talked to even exist. The problems were so numerous that I simply could not handle them all alone and she kept telling me she would help me get them resolved. That is not to mention the hundreds and hundreds of emails from "bankers" telling me that the problems on my accounts were result of their own errors and they were so apologetic as they promised they were working on them. By tracing the IP addresses, I discovered that they did not come from places like NY and South Dakota where they were supposed to be from. Rather, they came from her locations. Oh my, I could go on and on but you get the picture. Regardless, thank you for asking about whether we were absolutely sure. The answer is that we are absolutely, totally, and heartbreakingly sure. In terms of our financial situation, we were in doing well before her thefts and cover-ups. My husband and I had worked hard for many years, and planned for retirement and our future. We had managed our money so that we lived well----but we also lived well within our means. We had saved our entire lives. We had personal savings, IRAs 401Ks, investment accounts, and healthy balances in checking accounts. In addition, we had both received lump sums from the State for unused vacation and I had inherited several thousand dollars after my parents died. (That money was the result of selling the family farm and my mother’s death and was particularly precious to me. I had told our daughter that I considered that money sacred and I wanted to use it for something very, very special. I found out she got 35,000 from that account alone.) Our values were basic. Work hard, save for the future, and family is foremost. Our parents were farmers and immigrants who worked hard and earned every penny they ever had. Our values were in our DNA, inherited from parents who never had it easy and never squandered what they earned. My own dad once said that if he never taught his kids another thing, he would teach them how to work. He knew that through work came self-sufficiency and self-esteem. We tried to teach our daughter the same lesson. Obviously it didn't stick. I have come to the conclusion that prosecuting our daughter is a gift. It gives her a chance to start over and change her ways if she chooses to do so. If she doesn't there is nothing we can do about it. The harsh reality is that we really have had no choice. Once we discovered the identity theft, we either had to report her to the police or pay the bills. Paying the bills was never an option because she had emptied out all of our accounts except for about $2000 in her father’s account that she had not managed to appropriate. She left me with $42 dollars. On top of the over $300,000 she stole, she left us with over $100,000 in mortgage and credit card debt. Getting a loan was not an option because she had irrevocably ruined our credit. Prosecuting her is all we can do. It is love at its toughest. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Adult daughter stole entire life savings
Top