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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 627810" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>Jeanne in CA my heart goes out to you. in my opinion you are strides ahead of many of us when we began the difficult child struggle. Guilt of the problems in my marriage and the father walking out on us were used against me my by son for many years. It took me many years to see the manipulation and overcome the enabling. They see us as easy prey and they are correct, most will not go to the police.</p><p></p><p>My son started drugs, alcohol, and acting out at an early age. I was trying to keep food on the table and I sometimes thought (in the past) I should have gone on welfare to be at home more! He blames everyone for his problems but himself. </p><p></p><p>My son stole from me and helped his friends steal, my car, Christmas presents, one time I came home and my entire apartment was empty. I always filed police reports.</p><p></p><p>I had my son in as many programs as I could afford and he was court ordered rehab twice. I thought he had finally gotten his life together. He relapsed and I was thrown back into the center of a nightmare. Only this time I started looking after ME!</p><p></p><p>After my son threatened suicide when I stopped giving money I decided I had enough. I'm sure he really was living on the streets then! It was so hard for me to see my son for what he really is, the shock was wearing off and I started taking care of myself. My son can weave elaborate lies and look you straight in the eyes to convince you of his tales. His lack of remorse, or ever admitting to his involvement in conns is unnerving for me.</p><p></p><p>I don't hear from him much and after two years that doesn't bother me as much. I have close family members that are (extremely) critical of that so I don't discuss it with them. The only people that I do discuss things with are my husband (not his father) and my daughter. I meet with a wonderful small group for spiritual study once a week and the topic of adult children often come up. One very nice lady talks about how many problems one daughter gave her. The worse thing to her was when the daughter searched for a man to have a child out of wedlock. I hug her and just say my son was a problem child too. Actually, one of my many blessings is he doesn't have children, I know they would be used as pawns and I would never see them.</p><p></p><p>I was having a really hard time when I found this forum. I had joined a forum before and one lady would always tell members, 'your kid is a loser, just face reality and get a life', lol, I left that one fast. I shared in group once that I was considering going no contact with my son and many appeared shocked and told me there was nothing their child could do that would make them go no contact. My thoughts were, if they had walked in my shoes they may change their minds lol.</p><p></p><p>I have often wondered in the past what I did to deserve this is life. I can now accept that it's out of my control and enjoy my life. I honestly believe (for me anyway) we never really get over it, we just learn to live with it. Mental illness comes in may forms.</p><p></p><p>I found reading the posts, posting myself, and reading the many books written on our problems helped me tremendously.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs and peace)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 627810, member: 13558"] Jeanne in CA my heart goes out to you. in my opinion you are strides ahead of many of us when we began the difficult child struggle. Guilt of the problems in my marriage and the father walking out on us were used against me my by son for many years. It took me many years to see the manipulation and overcome the enabling. They see us as easy prey and they are correct, most will not go to the police. My son started drugs, alcohol, and acting out at an early age. I was trying to keep food on the table and I sometimes thought (in the past) I should have gone on welfare to be at home more! He blames everyone for his problems but himself. My son stole from me and helped his friends steal, my car, Christmas presents, one time I came home and my entire apartment was empty. I always filed police reports. I had my son in as many programs as I could afford and he was court ordered rehab twice. I thought he had finally gotten his life together. He relapsed and I was thrown back into the center of a nightmare. Only this time I started looking after ME! After my son threatened suicide when I stopped giving money I decided I had enough. I'm sure he really was living on the streets then! It was so hard for me to see my son for what he really is, the shock was wearing off and I started taking care of myself. My son can weave elaborate lies and look you straight in the eyes to convince you of his tales. His lack of remorse, or ever admitting to his involvement in conns is unnerving for me. I don't hear from him much and after two years that doesn't bother me as much. I have close family members that are (extremely) critical of that so I don't discuss it with them. The only people that I do discuss things with are my husband (not his father) and my daughter. I meet with a wonderful small group for spiritual study once a week and the topic of adult children often come up. One very nice lady talks about how many problems one daughter gave her. The worse thing to her was when the daughter searched for a man to have a child out of wedlock. I hug her and just say my son was a problem child too. Actually, one of my many blessings is he doesn't have children, I know they would be used as pawns and I would never see them. I was having a really hard time when I found this forum. I had joined a forum before and one lady would always tell members, 'your kid is a loser, just face reality and get a life', lol, I left that one fast. I shared in group once that I was considering going no contact with my son and many appeared shocked and told me there was nothing their child could do that would make them go no contact. My thoughts were, if they had walked in my shoes they may change their minds lol. I have often wondered in the past what I did to deserve this is life. I can now accept that it's out of my control and enjoy my life. I honestly believe (for me anyway) we never really get over it, we just learn to live with it. Mental illness comes in may forms. I found reading the posts, posting myself, and reading the many books written on our problems helped me tremendously. (((hugs and peace))) [/QUOTE]
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