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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="jeanne in CA" data-source="post: 628722" data-attributes="member: 18036"><p>Cedar, thank you sincerely for your kind words. I totally understand what you mean about coming back might be impossible. I guess if and when that happens there will be a new mourning that will be inevitable with the realization that she is lost for good. As much as I don't want to see her at this point or have any contact at all, I am not ready for that, I have to admit. Only time will tell. I actually spent a lot of time worrying about what she will have to go through once the police arrest her. That may sound nuts but as terrible as her actions have been, knowing that she will no doubt lose her marriage and her home once her husband finds out, does not bring me joy in any way. I have to admit I don't worry as much about that as I used to, but I think it boils down to most human beings do not like to see others suffer even if it is as a result of their own actions. On the other hand, it is logical that suffering must be part of accountability and possible redemption. </p><p> </p><p>The IRS issue remains to be seen. I will tackle it this week for sure. I feel sure she never filed taxes since she was not working of course, but I do need to ask about her obligation to file taxes on the money she stole from us. That is pretty funny I have to admit. Not sure how any of this works. It is just the latest in a long line of issues that have come up during these past few years. I have found that so often it is not our willingness to admit what has happened, but rather the unrelenting reminders of it that are so draining. I am sure it is the same for all of you in this forum. </p><p> </p><p>Dammit Janet, you are always to thoughtful even in the face of your own family challenges. I had to laugh also at your investigative experience which somewhat parallels mine. I had trained investigators reporting to me for many years, many of them I had trained myself. NEVER had any of us run into anything like this. I am glad you say you would have had a very hard time catching her either. What made it so difficult was all the forged documents. They had to have been pretty good since many of the banks didn't see them for what they were either. For sure, I was in such a frenzy all the time that unless they had been written in crayons on toilet paper, I would not have questioned their validity. </p><p> </p><p>I have not see the movie but intend to do so within the next few days! You may have been joking about my daughter having patterned some of her actions after it, but it is quite possible. Here is a summary of just a few more of her tricks:</p><p> </p><p><strong>The Comcast email problem-</strong> sometime after all the problems started I began to notice that I was not getting all the emails that I was supposed to get. I was communicating extensively with banking officials from all over who were supposedly working on our accounts with several banks. I contacted Comcast and complained but they had no solution. I was so frustrated because I constantly awaiting responses that would not to come. Eventually I would get an email from them the indicating that they had emailed me earlier. I discussed this issue with my daughter and she suggested that I have them copy her as a precaution. That way if I did not get a response through my Comcast account, she would get it and forward it to me. This went on for a very long time. Once I discovered the id theft in 2013 and learned that she herself was posing as all of the banking officials I had been communicating with, it became clear that there was never a legitimate problem with Comcast. Any problem I had had been of her creation. </p><p> </p><p><strong>Her “I’ll buy you a present but you have to pay for it game</strong>”- In March 2013, shortly before Easter, my daughter, granddaughter, and I were back in PA where she supposedly had several work-related assignments. Before I put her and the baby on a plane to return to CA she went to a very expensive chocolate shop there and bought a lot of Easter candy forher husband, his family, and my husband and I. I was so touched by her thoughtfulness towards everyone. After I discovered the identity theft and got my legitimate bank statements, I found she had made the purchases with my money. </p><p>The month before, in February, my husband and I went to their house to celebrate my birthday. My husband had given her $100 in cash to shop for gifts for me from him since she was better at picking things I liked. I later discovered she kept the cash and charged the gifts to my bank account. </p><p>This same scenario played out for my Christmas and Mother’s Day gifts as well. Note: the gifts she gave me for Christmas were all from Macys. She told me she got them with her “employee discount.” My Mother’s Day presents were accompanied by a beautiful card she had made where she told me what a great mother I was and how much she loved me.</p><p><strong>Her “I’ll buy other people things but you still have to pay for them game”</strong>.- This is another version of that game only in this version, she buys presents for other people and charges them to my bank account. Examples? For her husband’s birthday, she bought him a set of golf clubs costing nearly $700. For her dad's birthday she bought him a golf shirt and a gift card to a golf course. For Father’s day, she gave him another gift card and a beautiful handmade card telling him what a great father he was. For Christmas, she and I went to Sam’s club and she bought gift baskets for all of her great aunts and uncles from her, her husband, and their baby. I thought she was so thoughtful. Once again, after I discovered the identity theft and finally got my bank statements, I could see she had charged everything to my account. </p><p><strong>Her “You entertain the baby while I check out game</strong>”- She was frequently shopping for things for the house, the baby, or herself. We would shop the mall schlepping from store to store until she found just the right thing. I just accompanied her since I had no money to buy anything. When it was time for her to check out, she would just say, “Would you mind entertaining the baby while I go pay for this?” I would wheel the baby around outside the store while she made her purchases. After discovering the identity theft, I could see these one purchase after another charged to my account . </p><p> </p><p>The girl had an endless bag of tricks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeanne in CA, post: 628722, member: 18036"] Cedar, thank you sincerely for your kind words. I totally understand what you mean about coming back might be impossible. I guess if and when that happens there will be a new mourning that will be inevitable with the realization that she is lost for good. As much as I don't want to see her at this point or have any contact at all, I am not ready for that, I have to admit. Only time will tell. I actually spent a lot of time worrying about what she will have to go through once the police arrest her. That may sound nuts but as terrible as her actions have been, knowing that she will no doubt lose her marriage and her home once her husband finds out, does not bring me joy in any way. I have to admit I don't worry as much about that as I used to, but I think it boils down to most human beings do not like to see others suffer even if it is as a result of their own actions. On the other hand, it is logical that suffering must be part of accountability and possible redemption. The IRS issue remains to be seen. I will tackle it this week for sure. I feel sure she never filed taxes since she was not working of course, but I do need to ask about her obligation to file taxes on the money she stole from us. That is pretty funny I have to admit. Not sure how any of this works. It is just the latest in a long line of issues that have come up during these past few years. I have found that so often it is not our willingness to admit what has happened, but rather the unrelenting reminders of it that are so draining. I am sure it is the same for all of you in this forum. Dammit Janet, you are always to thoughtful even in the face of your own family challenges. I had to laugh also at your investigative experience which somewhat parallels mine. I had trained investigators reporting to me for many years, many of them I had trained myself. NEVER had any of us run into anything like this. I am glad you say you would have had a very hard time catching her either. What made it so difficult was all the forged documents. They had to have been pretty good since many of the banks didn't see them for what they were either. For sure, I was in such a frenzy all the time that unless they had been written in crayons on toilet paper, I would not have questioned their validity. I have not see the movie but intend to do so within the next few days! You may have been joking about my daughter having patterned some of her actions after it, but it is quite possible. Here is a summary of just a few more of her tricks: [B]The Comcast email problem-[/B] sometime after all the problems started I began to notice that I was not getting all the emails that I was supposed to get. I was communicating extensively with banking officials from all over who were supposedly working on our accounts with several banks. I contacted Comcast and complained but they had no solution. I was so frustrated because I constantly awaiting responses that would not to come. Eventually I would get an email from them the indicating that they had emailed me earlier. I discussed this issue with my daughter and she suggested that I have them copy her as a precaution. That way if I did not get a response through my Comcast account, she would get it and forward it to me. This went on for a very long time. Once I discovered the id theft in 2013 and learned that she herself was posing as all of the banking officials I had been communicating with, it became clear that there was never a legitimate problem with Comcast. Any problem I had had been of her creation. [B]Her “I’ll buy you a present but you have to pay for it game[/B]”- In March 2013, shortly before Easter, my daughter, granddaughter, and I were back in PA where she supposedly had several work-related assignments. Before I put her and the baby on a plane to return to CA she went to a very expensive chocolate shop there and bought a lot of Easter candy forher husband, his family, and my husband and I. I was so touched by her thoughtfulness towards everyone. After I discovered the identity theft and got my legitimate bank statements, I found she had made the purchases with my money. The month before, in February, my husband and I went to their house to celebrate my birthday. My husband had given her $100 in cash to shop for gifts for me from him since she was better at picking things I liked. I later discovered she kept the cash and charged the gifts to my bank account. This same scenario played out for my Christmas and Mother’s Day gifts as well. Note: the gifts she gave me for Christmas were all from Macys. She told me she got them with her “employee discount.” My Mother’s Day presents were accompanied by a beautiful card she had made where she told me what a great mother I was and how much she loved me. [B]Her “I’ll buy other people things but you still have to pay for them game”[/B].- This is another version of that game only in this version, she buys presents for other people and charges them to my bank account. Examples? For her husband’s birthday, she bought him a set of golf clubs costing nearly $700. For her dad's birthday she bought him a golf shirt and a gift card to a golf course. For Father’s day, she gave him another gift card and a beautiful handmade card telling him what a great father he was. For Christmas, she and I went to Sam’s club and she bought gift baskets for all of her great aunts and uncles from her, her husband, and their baby. I thought she was so thoughtful. Once again, after I discovered the identity theft and finally got my bank statements, I could see she had charged everything to my account. [B]Her “You entertain the baby while I check out game[/B]”- She was frequently shopping for things for the house, the baby, or herself. We would shop the mall schlepping from store to store until she found just the right thing. I just accompanied her since I had no money to buy anything. When it was time for her to check out, she would just say, “Would you mind entertaining the baby while I go pay for this?” I would wheel the baby around outside the store while she made her purchases. After discovering the identity theft, I could see these one purchase after another charged to my account . The girl had an endless bag of tricks. [/QUOTE]
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