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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="jeanne in CA" data-source="post: 629682" data-attributes="member: 18036"><p>Cedar and Tryagain, thank you so much for your thoughtful words. Cedar, I will try the Calms Forte as well. </p><p> </p><p>It has been a trying last few days. I finally saw my brother (the one I borrowed the $20,000 from supposedly for a week and it took two years and a half years to pay him back) it he was very good. As far as he is concerned, the issue is done and over with, even though he still struggles to understand how our daughter has managed to pull this off. He has no faith in the criminal justice system and suggested we sue her civilly. Of course, that makes no sense to me right now since, we have no money for a civil law suit given that we are already dealing with bankruptcy attorneys, bank attorneys, etc. And, she has no money at all. I explained that with a criminal conviction a win in a civil suit would be much easier. He also doesn't get why my husband did not taken a more active part in trying to resolve the financial issues when they were taking place. He has a very John Wayne approach to life and he protects his wife. I admire that but our relationship is very different. We basically divide things based on who's best at them and I have always handled the bills etc. With many of the accounts in my name, they wanted to talk to me. In addition, I was the one communicating with the representatives all the time. I think my brother was just worried about me on one hand. On the other hand, he may have felt that had my husband been involved more, things would not have gotten so far. He was not trying to be judgemental, just trying to understand and apply his own logic and methods. I, on the other hand, just still feel so bad. I have apologized so many times and he keeps telling me it is not necessary and that is all in the past. For me, it is the simple concept that he helped me when I needed it and he got royally screwed for his troubles. I cannot imagine ever forgiving my daughter for hurting him that way and forever changing my history with my brother. </p><p> </p><p>On the same day, I met with our minister and explained the situation. I felt that I needed that type of support very much right now but knew it would be impossible to obtain without telling the entire sordid story. That was another two and a half hours of emotional upheaval. </p><p> </p><p>In the afternoon, I picked up my 84-year-old aunt from the board and care facility and took her to doctor. She had been languishing there for weeks after surgery and no one was checking on her health or her ability to go home. I went in with a list of questions a mile long and before we got done he said she could go off the oxygen, off the walker, and go home. Hard to say how long that would have gone on. She did not even have a doctors appointment scheduled until I called and insisted that he see her and evaluate her. I know that is somewhat off topic but it still amazes me. </p><p> </p><p>Just when I thought that I was done for the day, I learned that my daughter and son-in-law's home was in default. It would appear that she is still up to her old tricks and I could not help but wonder if our son-in-law even knows about it. Like I said, emotional times. I just got up and now need a nap. Sorry for the whine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeanne in CA, post: 629682, member: 18036"] Cedar and Tryagain, thank you so much for your thoughtful words. Cedar, I will try the Calms Forte as well. It has been a trying last few days. I finally saw my brother (the one I borrowed the $20,000 from supposedly for a week and it took two years and a half years to pay him back) it he was very good. As far as he is concerned, the issue is done and over with, even though he still struggles to understand how our daughter has managed to pull this off. He has no faith in the criminal justice system and suggested we sue her civilly. Of course, that makes no sense to me right now since, we have no money for a civil law suit given that we are already dealing with bankruptcy attorneys, bank attorneys, etc. And, she has no money at all. I explained that with a criminal conviction a win in a civil suit would be much easier. He also doesn't get why my husband did not taken a more active part in trying to resolve the financial issues when they were taking place. He has a very John Wayne approach to life and he protects his wife. I admire that but our relationship is very different. We basically divide things based on who's best at them and I have always handled the bills etc. With many of the accounts in my name, they wanted to talk to me. In addition, I was the one communicating with the representatives all the time. I think my brother was just worried about me on one hand. On the other hand, he may have felt that had my husband been involved more, things would not have gotten so far. He was not trying to be judgemental, just trying to understand and apply his own logic and methods. I, on the other hand, just still feel so bad. I have apologized so many times and he keeps telling me it is not necessary and that is all in the past. For me, it is the simple concept that he helped me when I needed it and he got royally screwed for his troubles. I cannot imagine ever forgiving my daughter for hurting him that way and forever changing my history with my brother. On the same day, I met with our minister and explained the situation. I felt that I needed that type of support very much right now but knew it would be impossible to obtain without telling the entire sordid story. That was another two and a half hours of emotional upheaval. In the afternoon, I picked up my 84-year-old aunt from the board and care facility and took her to doctor. She had been languishing there for weeks after surgery and no one was checking on her health or her ability to go home. I went in with a list of questions a mile long and before we got done he said she could go off the oxygen, off the walker, and go home. Hard to say how long that would have gone on. She did not even have a doctors appointment scheduled until I called and insisted that he see her and evaluate her. I know that is somewhat off topic but it still amazes me. Just when I thought that I was done for the day, I learned that my daughter and son-in-law's home was in default. It would appear that she is still up to her old tricks and I could not help but wonder if our son-in-law even knows about it. Like I said, emotional times. I just got up and now need a nap. Sorry for the whine. [/QUOTE]
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