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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629687" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Jeanne, warm hugs for you this morning. Go ahead and take a nap right now if you need one. Then you will be able to deal with the rest of the day and your own self much better.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, it sounds like your brother is not atypical. Our families who have not lived this life do not get it at all. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. While it's understandable that they are thinking these thoughts, I can only tolerate it for so much. It is not helpful for me to hear their "so excellent" advice and Monday morning quarterbacking. </p><p></p><p>The fact is, they are not the mother of this difficult child under discussion. They are not the one who raised her/him. They don't know where we have been, even though we try to tell them and bring them along. They do not know what we have learned the hard, hard way.</p><p></p><p>And God Bless Them for the support they DO provide, though limited. I am so glad you and he have not lost each other in this whole vile mess, but he can't know your road and of course, you can't know his.</p><p></p><p>At some point, it's helpful just to start from today and go forward, not rehash the past, which none of us can affect, and we did the best we could with what we knew at the time.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can set a future boundary with him---kindly---and reestablish the natural balance of your relationship. You should not have to apologize anymore, and he needs to respect your decisions from here on out. The relationship should not give him more power than you have.</p><p></p><p>Also, it sounds like you were a godsend to your aunt, and I hope you see clearly what you were able to do there and how important it was.</p><p></p><p>And even though I am sure it was wrenching to tell the whole awful story to your minister, I am glad you did, and I hope now you will go back to him for continuing support. </p><p></p><p>And---well, isn't it interesting that your daughter is messing up her own nest now? There is no telling what else is going on with her that you don't know about. It sounds like she is almost compulsive in her ways. </p><p></p><p>There will likely be a lot of "comeuppance" for her in many categories over the next few years. While that is fitting, it is going to be very hard on you in so many ways.</p><p></p><p>Jeanne, you are a true warrior, but even warriors need an army to stand with them and behind them. We are here, and please start identifying other sources of ongoing support for yourself. You will be so glad you did. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you. Take that nap!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629687, member: 17542"] Jeanne, warm hugs for you this morning. Go ahead and take a nap right now if you need one. Then you will be able to deal with the rest of the day and your own self much better. In the meantime, it sounds like your brother is not atypical. Our families who have not lived this life do not get it at all. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. While it's understandable that they are thinking these thoughts, I can only tolerate it for so much. It is not helpful for me to hear their "so excellent" advice and Monday morning quarterbacking. The fact is, they are not the mother of this difficult child under discussion. They are not the one who raised her/him. They don't know where we have been, even though we try to tell them and bring them along. They do not know what we have learned the hard, hard way. And God Bless Them for the support they DO provide, though limited. I am so glad you and he have not lost each other in this whole vile mess, but he can't know your road and of course, you can't know his. At some point, it's helpful just to start from today and go forward, not rehash the past, which none of us can affect, and we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. I hope you can set a future boundary with him---kindly---and reestablish the natural balance of your relationship. You should not have to apologize anymore, and he needs to respect your decisions from here on out. The relationship should not give him more power than you have. Also, it sounds like you were a godsend to your aunt, and I hope you see clearly what you were able to do there and how important it was. And even though I am sure it was wrenching to tell the whole awful story to your minister, I am glad you did, and I hope now you will go back to him for continuing support. And---well, isn't it interesting that your daughter is messing up her own nest now? There is no telling what else is going on with her that you don't know about. It sounds like she is almost compulsive in her ways. There will likely be a lot of "comeuppance" for her in many categories over the next few years. While that is fitting, it is going to be very hard on you in so many ways. Jeanne, you are a true warrior, but even warriors need an army to stand with them and behind them. We are here, and please start identifying other sources of ongoing support for yourself. You will be so glad you did. Warm hugs to you. Take that nap! [/QUOTE]
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