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advice needed...sibling sexual abuse??
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 355969" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A point I want to emphasise here on the possibility of this boy having experienced abuse - PLEASE be aware, abuse can happen from other children. After all, the concern here is a young boy behaving inappropriately, isn't it? So if he can, so can others. And much worse. This boy may have just done this the once, but he may also have experienced abuse at school or somewhere similar.</p><p></p><p>easy child was 5 when she was molested in the school playground, right under the noses of very vigilant teachers. The abuser was a 7 year old boy she had known since she was a baby. They had been in the same child care centre. He was always the boy with the quiet mean streak, the one who would ride his dinky over the babies' fingers then just look at you blankly if you scolded him. Then he would wait until you weren't watching and then do it again. His dad was a large man, always smiling and fairly jolly. The dad served on a few committees in the child care centre and also at the school. I remember the father being very vocal against the idea of kids as young as ours needing sex education, or lessons in how to be safe.</p><p>easy child didn't tell me about the abuse for 2 years. When she told me, she gave little detail and wouldn't say any more. She was distraught if the subject was brought up and only told me on condition we would never talk about it. I got her into counselling but it was useless. She has since blocked it out although she knows intellectually that something happened.</p><p></p><p>What easy child told us - the boy got her behind some large playground equipment and removed her pants. He told her he as going to have sex with her and that it would hurt. He also said that if she told anyone, he would send his father round to our house to kill me (her mother) by running me over with his lawnmower. She was terrified for me as she told, scared that somehow this boy would know she had told even though neither of them were at that school any more.</p><p></p><p>I am certain that boy was abused, probably by his father (hence using the father as a figure to threaten with). But he was out of our reach then. Plus there was no way we could tell the police because easy child was terrified of involving them and would not have cooperated with them.</p><p></p><p>Since then I've known of other cases (different schools, unrelated) of kids in Kindergarten being molested by older boys. It's really nasty and it doesn't get taken seriously by schools when you tell them (although it was in easy child's case - they began to insist on the protective behaviour classes and to boost their playground vigilance beyond merely watching the gates for strangers coming in).</p><p></p><p>In this case - get a professional counsellor involved, someone who understands how to question correctly. Let the counsellor deal with it. I would also get someone to assess the boy in case there is some underlying social immaturity such as Asperger's. It may well have been not intended as harm, but it can be a symptom that indicates a need to check things a bit more.</p><p></p><p>It could be something as simple as klmno suggests - the boy hearing about an incident from another kid - or it could be an indication of his own abuse experience. But if you let a professional counsellor handle it and CPS eventually get back to you wanting to do their job (belatedly) then the professional counsellor will have material they can share with CPS. A sort of "here is what you would have done, here is the response I got."</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 355969, member: 1991"] A point I want to emphasise here on the possibility of this boy having experienced abuse - PLEASE be aware, abuse can happen from other children. After all, the concern here is a young boy behaving inappropriately, isn't it? So if he can, so can others. And much worse. This boy may have just done this the once, but he may also have experienced abuse at school or somewhere similar. easy child was 5 when she was molested in the school playground, right under the noses of very vigilant teachers. The abuser was a 7 year old boy she had known since she was a baby. They had been in the same child care centre. He was always the boy with the quiet mean streak, the one who would ride his dinky over the babies' fingers then just look at you blankly if you scolded him. Then he would wait until you weren't watching and then do it again. His dad was a large man, always smiling and fairly jolly. The dad served on a few committees in the child care centre and also at the school. I remember the father being very vocal against the idea of kids as young as ours needing sex education, or lessons in how to be safe. easy child didn't tell me about the abuse for 2 years. When she told me, she gave little detail and wouldn't say any more. She was distraught if the subject was brought up and only told me on condition we would never talk about it. I got her into counselling but it was useless. She has since blocked it out although she knows intellectually that something happened. What easy child told us - the boy got her behind some large playground equipment and removed her pants. He told her he as going to have sex with her and that it would hurt. He also said that if she told anyone, he would send his father round to our house to kill me (her mother) by running me over with his lawnmower. She was terrified for me as she told, scared that somehow this boy would know she had told even though neither of them were at that school any more. I am certain that boy was abused, probably by his father (hence using the father as a figure to threaten with). But he was out of our reach then. Plus there was no way we could tell the police because easy child was terrified of involving them and would not have cooperated with them. Since then I've known of other cases (different schools, unrelated) of kids in Kindergarten being molested by older boys. It's really nasty and it doesn't get taken seriously by schools when you tell them (although it was in easy child's case - they began to insist on the protective behaviour classes and to boost their playground vigilance beyond merely watching the gates for strangers coming in). In this case - get a professional counsellor involved, someone who understands how to question correctly. Let the counsellor deal with it. I would also get someone to assess the boy in case there is some underlying social immaturity such as Asperger's. It may well have been not intended as harm, but it can be a symptom that indicates a need to check things a bit more. It could be something as simple as klmno suggests - the boy hearing about an incident from another kid - or it could be an indication of his own abuse experience. But if you let a professional counsellor handle it and CPS eventually get back to you wanting to do their job (belatedly) then the professional counsellor will have material they can share with CPS. A sort of "here is what you would have done, here is the response I got." Marg [/QUOTE]
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