Hi everyone. This is going to be a long post. Sigh. Last year we investigated all sorts of diagnoses for my son, Saul, who's finishing up third grade. Everyone ruled out ADD or ADHD, but we were investigating bipolar, ODD, anxiety, and possibly AS for quite some time. By the end of his second grade year, we had upgraded a lot of our parenting skills, and with the help of a detail oriented and very dedicated teacher, his behavior in school and at home really improved. Great. Starting school this year, in third grade, he was placed with a teacher who was quite simply a disaster. (I actually didn't want him in with her, but I took the recommendation of his second grade teacher who said she thought it was a good fit. Turns out I was right and she was wrong.) She tormented him, riding him for every small error, i.e., demanding that the math book be placed in the CENTER of the desk, not just on his desk; demanding that he always make eye contact with her; and repositioning his arms while he was standing in line so that his wrists were touching his thighs. She made him crazy. He started misbehaving in class, and then she started punishing the misbehaviors. He was denied first one recess then two, then he was not allowed to attend a field trip. To this day he's not sure why he was not allowed to go, and even I am unclear now as to what the rationale was. Saul has a very good relationship with his principal. On the third week of school, the principal asked him, "Why are you in my office so much this year?" And Saul replied, "I hate my teacher, and I think that if I keep coming to the office you'll see how miserable I am and you'll give me a new one." OK, then. That sums sit up nicely. We didn't want to give the eight year old the impression that he had the power to request changes whenever he was uncomfortable (he has some ODD behavior, but he can also be manipulative, and at that point we weren't sure what was going on), so we all agreed to keep him with the teacher and to institute better communications between the teacher and home. The teacher refused to get involved. By October, Saul was falling apart. Nightmares, anxiety attacks, growling, refusal to do any work, etc. The teacher fabricated a story of him attacking a younger child and confronted him with it. (It was later shown to be a fabrication by interviewing the teacher OF the younger child.) He's only in Third Grade, but Saul's known for years now that when he gets upset, he can ask to go to the office or to see the principal. It's his safe place. In this instance he asked to go to the office, and his teacher blocked the doorway, saying he had to talk to her first. He put his head down, head-butted her in the stomach, told her to move, and then pushed past her to the office. The principal called us to come get him. When I got there he was sweating and shaking. That evening, on a long phone conversation with the principal, I told her that I was not bringing him back to school and that he was NOT going back into that classroom. We put him on Home and Hospital instruction for two weeks (tutor coming to the house) while we figured out what to do. (by the way, the teacher filed an assault claim against him with the District, and has continued to tell parents and teachers that the claim was "hushed up" because I sit on the School Board. Actually, the claim was denied because she was found to be at fault.) While he was on Home and Hospital, the decision was made to designate him as ED for qualification for SpecEd. (At that point he was flunking all subjects because he refused to do any work for the teacher, so the academic impact was obvious. The nature of the disability was not.) Now it's June, and I have a gone through two separate psychiatric evaluations. One found that he has Anxiety not otherwise specified, along with Intermittent Explosivity, and the other finds that he has Asperger's, along with Anxiety and IE. Currently he is on a trial of Ritalin (nope. not working) and Adderall (kinda working) to address the impulse control issue leading to the IE. We meet with the psychiatrist on Thursday to re assess the medications. I'd like to move him over to straight anxiety medications and see how that goes. I'd like to get the IEP rewritten so that it reflects Autism and Asperger's instead of straight ED. HOWEVER, and this is the question behind the post, I am VERY concerned about rewriting the IEP at this point because the District has failed to meet their commitments. The IEP was written when he was basically in class, but leaving for the hallway when he got anxious. So the goal is that he will remain in class *at his desk* 80% of the time. In January of this year, all heck broke loose because of an untrained aide. Within the span of two weeks, he was dragged through the school by teachers and aides when he asked to go to the office (they dragged him there because they said they couldn't trust him to walk on his own), an aide tackled him in the hallway and sat on him after he rolled a chair down the hallway (she was showing off for a new aide), and when he crawled under a table in the hallway screaming, "I hate you all, and if I had a gun I'd put it to my head" they called the police on him. He already has a police phobia. No one called me, but I happened to be at the school when the police arrived and I HAPPENED to get to the hallway before the police dragged him out from under the table. It took me twenty minutes of lying on the floor under the table with him to convince him to come out. The principal got back to school from a District Office meeting to find this going on. No one had called her either. Thankfully, she cleared the hallway and go the police to go away. When I got Saul home his teeth were chattering, he was sweating, and he threw up in the driveway. Totally traumatized. From January on, he has refused to enter the classroom. From January through March he mostly wandered the school with his aide who tried to convince him to go back to class. Starting in February he started leaving school all together and walking home (with his aide trailing him along with a police car). In March (because I had been having fits in the Superintendent's office) we hired a new employee who became Saul's case manager. To address his school phobia, she reduced his school day to about an hour, trying to get him back to being comfortable at school. She kept saying that they'd get him back into the classroom by the end of the year. School's over, and he hasn't been back in the classroom except for a few lessons here and there. But he's nowhere NEAR 80%. As far as I'm concerned, the District has broken their commitment to the IEP and to Saul. On the one hand, I want the IEP to remain as it is so that they can't wiggle out of it. On the other hand, I want the IEP to be rewritten so as to reflect his true disability. Opinions? What do you do when the District fails in its IEP contract? I've considered requesting that they place him in a private setting, at the District's expense, but the only placement the Director of Special Education can find for him would be for AS designated students, and it's a Middle School setting. He's going into fourth grade. (With his behavior issues, most private schools don't want to touch him. He's very bright. With three weeks of dedicated instruction by his aide at the end of the year, he passed the Third Grade benchmark test with the highest grade in his class.) Maybe I ask for private instruction? But he needs the social interaction too. I don't know what to do.