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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 716503" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Nessie,</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others.</p><p></p><p>You will get the confrontation that you don't want if you tell him of your resolve to cut off the enabling.</p><p></p><p>I would keep the meet-up light, friendly, and casual. </p><p></p><p>Talk about things that are neutral, fun, lighthearted.</p><p></p><p>Don't bring up his living situation or lifestyle choices.</p><p></p><p>He is an adult who is choosing his path, and you are the parent of an adult who is going to let him figure out things for himself. Don't insert yourself into his business in any way.</p><p></p><p>Stay in public places. Don't bring him to your home.</p><p></p><p>If he asks for money or favors, or starts in with a sob story, tell him you have faith that he can manage his life. Change the subject.</p><p></p><p>If he won't drop it, you may need to cut the meeting short.</p><p></p><p>Hold onto your boundaries.</p><p></p><p>This will be hard at first, but will get easier over time.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p><p></p><p>Apple</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 716503, member: 16024"] Nessie, I agree with the others. You will get the confrontation that you don't want if you tell him of your resolve to cut off the enabling. I would keep the meet-up light, friendly, and casual. Talk about things that are neutral, fun, lighthearted. Don't bring up his living situation or lifestyle choices. He is an adult who is choosing his path, and you are the parent of an adult who is going to let him figure out things for himself. Don't insert yourself into his business in any way. Stay in public places. Don't bring him to your home. If he asks for money or favors, or starts in with a sob story, tell him you have faith that he can manage his life. Change the subject. If he won't drop it, you may need to cut the meeting short. Hold onto your boundaries. This will be hard at first, but will get easier over time. Good luck. Apple [/QUOTE]
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