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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 716527" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>Nessie - you are starting your detachment journey - and that is a good thing.</p><p></p><p>The others have offered sage advice. Try to have this as a happy meeting in a public place with no conditions stated out loud but please have your boundaries in place. If the meeting starts going sideways and you are in a public place, simply state that you are leaving and say goodbye. Nothing will be gained by a fight. </p><p></p><p>I have found that when my daughter starts with the sob story or demands money, I am now able to respond with a firm, "No" followed with a "I know you'll be able to figure this out on your own." In the 3 years that my daughter has been running around the world, I have been guilty of supporting it by bailing her out of jail, sending money handouts and booking flights/buses/trains/hotels. She hasn't changed one bit - in fact, she has become worse. And with every drama, my emotional roller-coaster got larger. I'm done with the amusement park. And I'm feeling happier and calmer than I have in years. It doesn't mean I love her any less. It means that I won't love her behaviour or be a party to her self-destruction. And the big thing for me is admitting I am powerless to help her in her journey - she is in G*d's hands.</p><p></p><p>Sending you hugs and happy thoughts for your visit with your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 716527, member: 355"] Nessie - you are starting your detachment journey - and that is a good thing. The others have offered sage advice. Try to have this as a happy meeting in a public place with no conditions stated out loud but please have your boundaries in place. If the meeting starts going sideways and you are in a public place, simply state that you are leaving and say goodbye. Nothing will be gained by a fight. I have found that when my daughter starts with the sob story or demands money, I am now able to respond with a firm, "No" followed with a "I know you'll be able to figure this out on your own." In the 3 years that my daughter has been running around the world, I have been guilty of supporting it by bailing her out of jail, sending money handouts and booking flights/buses/trains/hotels. She hasn't changed one bit - in fact, she has become worse. And with every drama, my emotional roller-coaster got larger. I'm done with the amusement park. And I'm feeling happier and calmer than I have in years. It doesn't mean I love her any less. It means that I won't love her behaviour or be a party to her self-destruction. And the big thing for me is admitting I am powerless to help her in her journey - she is in G*d's hands. Sending you hugs and happy thoughts for your visit with your son. [/QUOTE]
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