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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 716766" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Hi</p><p></p><p>For starters I think a therapist that has a background in substance abuse would be helpful. If your son does not have any mental illnesses it could be the marijuana that is making him have no drive or desire to do anything. And why should he? He has it made! You need help on how to set healthy and loving boundaries for him. This will help you and will also help him. </p><p></p><p>I would think that a therapist would suggest that you establish some rules for him to abide by while staying at his grandfather's place. This is going to be a complete overhaul of your parenting as you have not made him suffer ANY consequences in the past. I can tell you that he is not going to like it.</p><p></p><p>There are so many people here that have helped me and remember, it does not mean you do not love your son. He is a grown man (yes hard to believe it but it's true) and he has to learn how to make his way in this world. You are not going to live forever.</p><p></p><p>My son has a serious addiction problem so what you describe sounds like a piece of cake to me but in reality even for you nothing changes if nothing changes. You don't want a 30 year old sitting on the couch refusing to work or do anything with his life and that can and does happen.</p><p></p><p>This young MEN (and women) seem to feel entitled and think that parents are supposed to pay for them and baby them forever and that can happen unless the parents make changes.</p><p></p><p>There is an article on detachment here on the main forum page that you may want to read. It can help you to see how that by letting go we let our adult children grow into the men and women they are meant to be. It is really their life and their choice in the end.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 716766, member: 15032"] Hi For starters I think a therapist that has a background in substance abuse would be helpful. If your son does not have any mental illnesses it could be the marijuana that is making him have no drive or desire to do anything. And why should he? He has it made! You need help on how to set healthy and loving boundaries for him. This will help you and will also help him. I would think that a therapist would suggest that you establish some rules for him to abide by while staying at his grandfather's place. This is going to be a complete overhaul of your parenting as you have not made him suffer ANY consequences in the past. I can tell you that he is not going to like it. There are so many people here that have helped me and remember, it does not mean you do not love your son. He is a grown man (yes hard to believe it but it's true) and he has to learn how to make his way in this world. You are not going to live forever. My son has a serious addiction problem so what you describe sounds like a piece of cake to me but in reality even for you nothing changes if nothing changes. You don't want a 30 year old sitting on the couch refusing to work or do anything with his life and that can and does happen. This young MEN (and women) seem to feel entitled and think that parents are supposed to pay for them and baby them forever and that can happen unless the parents make changes. There is an article on detachment here on the main forum page that you may want to read. It can help you to see how that by letting go we let our adult children grow into the men and women they are meant to be. It is really their life and their choice in the end. [/QUOTE]
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