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Parent Emeritus
advise please
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 535112" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Mog, </p><p></p><p>I forget how old difficult child is - but......It may be time to get an attorney to decide if he needs to start gettting SSI disability to learn how to live on his own away from you. I'm not sure if prosecuting him would be helpful at all, because I don't know if he's mentally unstable and couldn't handle jail, or if it's you that couldn't handle him in jail. Know what I mean?? BECAUSE of the extreme amount of stress you've been under. NO ONE wants their child in jail. Trust me on that. HOWEVER - at some point - you have to allow them to be responsible for the consequences that go with their actions and stop saving them from their own behaviors. If he was completely innocent? That's one thing - but he tore your home apart. </p><p></p><p>I agree with Susie too that I wouldn't let a single person in my home to do ANY kind of looking around period. Not until I had talked to counsel. No looking around, no I just need a minute to get a note or two from the other night - NOTHING. NADA, ZIP. I doubt they'll have a warrant -but in the event they do? You'll really want to be advised of your rights. AND your sons rights. Then you're going to have some tough decisions to make and maybe this will lead to some help for him. Maybe not. I don't know the law in your area. I don't know your sons history or diagnosis. </p><p></p><p>I do know that you should stay in therapy and make sure you're taking care of yourself becuase this is tough, and it's going to get tougher, and you're going to need a great support system. You have us but were not there.....</p><p></p><p>Hugs and Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 535112, member: 4964"] Mog, I forget how old difficult child is - but......It may be time to get an attorney to decide if he needs to start gettting SSI disability to learn how to live on his own away from you. I'm not sure if prosecuting him would be helpful at all, because I don't know if he's mentally unstable and couldn't handle jail, or if it's you that couldn't handle him in jail. Know what I mean?? BECAUSE of the extreme amount of stress you've been under. NO ONE wants their child in jail. Trust me on that. HOWEVER - at some point - you have to allow them to be responsible for the consequences that go with their actions and stop saving them from their own behaviors. If he was completely innocent? That's one thing - but he tore your home apart. I agree with Susie too that I wouldn't let a single person in my home to do ANY kind of looking around period. Not until I had talked to counsel. No looking around, no I just need a minute to get a note or two from the other night - NOTHING. NADA, ZIP. I doubt they'll have a warrant -but in the event they do? You'll really want to be advised of your rights. AND your sons rights. Then you're going to have some tough decisions to make and maybe this will lead to some help for him. Maybe not. I don't know the law in your area. I don't know your sons history or diagnosis. I do know that you should stay in therapy and make sure you're taking care of yourself becuase this is tough, and it's going to get tougher, and you're going to need a great support system. You have us but were not there..... Hugs and Love Star [/QUOTE]
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