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After 9 years of this I'm not sure I'm going to survive
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<blockquote data-quote="dudley24" data-source="post: 385180"><p>Thank you to all of you. I have updated my info. I needed to vent while I had a minute but at 2 in the morning I found more time. I will answer each question as best as I can.</p><p> </p><p>My daughter was officially diagnosed with ADD at the age of 5. I say that because there were obvious signs when she was 3 but my doctor wouldn't say officially she was ADD until she was school age, and would not prescribe medication until then. There were no blood tests just a piece of paper with questions about her behavior, and my doctor's experience with her 2 ADHD kids.</p><p> </p><p>At first the Concerta that she was prescribed worked wonderfully, with exception of the loss of appetite and difficulty sleeping. Dot (as we have recently nick named her) presented behavior challenged not related to the ADD about a year after that. Foul temper, lying, being very defiant, separation anxiety etc, but everyone assumed it was related to being separated from her father, and my folks believed I was being too hard on her...thus a break in unified forces began, (families, gotta love em<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />)</p><p> </p><p>Around grade 2 I got seriously worried about her health because she still wasn't gaining any weight and her defiance was getting dangerous...leaving the home boundaries, taking things, running off to talk to strangers, throwing herself on the floor when she couldn't have her way. Also the fibs she was telling her teachers about me (Like I was drinking myself to sleep, that I hit her, or that she was not being fed at home, not being provided lunches etc.) Then there were the outright lies to my parents but she had already figured out we weren't seeing eye to eye and she could easily manipulate them. Social service visits began <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>I wanted to have her see a pediatrician but my doctor wouldn't make the referal, always suggesting that because I myself are clinically depressed I was probably just over reacting. My parents also believed the same.</p><p> </p><p>I finally moved away from my parents two years ago and met my hubby. He was of the belief that a unified family lots of love and stability would help her. Two years later (God bless him) and many attempts to bond Dot is just as defiant as ever. A year ago we finally got her in to see a Pediatrician. He was supposed to be some BIG SHOT, many accelaids and honors etc etc (learned eventually all that stuff meant was that he thinks way too much of himself). Again there were questionaires to fill out but no real hands on diagnosis...BigShotMuckymuck, never even did an exam. He's the one who came up with the additional acrynm...Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Pardon my sarcasm when I say he said it like it was supposed to make it all better. By this time the Concerta was up to 36mg and no longer affective. Muckymuck suggested alternatives with even worse side effects and we tried Adderal but that just made her agressive and defiant with ADD. I told Muckymuck I wanted to try homeopathic approach and he said he didn't support that. He felt that perhaps hubby and I needed parenting classes instead.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> Hubby and I decided Muckymuck was just full of his own press and we stopped going to see him. I have asked our current GP to refer us to a new pediatrician but nothing has come of that yet...Pediatricians are really hard to get into around here and Muckymuck is the "agreed apon expert in ADD and ADHD"<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> so my decision to seek another pediatrician's opinion didn't go down well.</p><p> </p><p>I found an internet thingy...3steps to conquering ADD, bought the book and considered the author's suggestions and from there I decided to take Dot off her medications and put her on a regiment of Protien shakes, liquid vitamins and a suppliment called Neu-be-calm'd which has had some promising results. Now, from what I can tell Dot's ADD symptoms are no worse then they were on the Concerta, but now she's gain 3 pounds in the last month and sleeps like a baby...<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />. But, there's that defiance thing still smacking us in the face.</p><p> </p><p>As for how we dish out the consequences for inappropriate behavior, well mostly groundings. Through the years I have taken things away, tried spanking (found that personally distastful since I came from an abusing background and stopped) I've tried time out, time away, yelling, calm discussions, and the list goes on. I haven't been flippent about each approach either...I put time and patience into each approach and while they initially may have worked eventually Dot just decides she doesn't care and they become ineffective. Case in point, she had a brand new PS2 taken from her 8 months ago and doesn't care if she gets it back, even when I've used that as a negotiating tool. Dot's response, Keep it I don't want it.</p><p> </p><p>Admittedly before new hubby our time together consisted mostly of me watching her play her ps2 or going to Oma and Papa's house with the occasional outting or sitting watching tv and cuddling, but I had no car back then and was fighting my own battle with depression and stress, and a demanding fulltime job. Dot is a very high maintenance child who demands alot of attention, pyshically, emotionally and mentally. For the first 10 years of her life she got all of my attention regardless of </p><p>my personal problems. Now, I realize that the new hubby and new brother may be part of her "issues" now but she's also gotten more attention from my hubby and she is incredibly good with her brother...a dream come true according to Dot, and as a family unit we now do more things together and as mother and daughter we spend more quality time together. But at the same time there have been some missed opportunity for fun times because of the "consequences" of inappropriate behavior.</p><p> </p><p>As for the neuro stuff well, I hadn't considered that in all honesty (her father had psychological issues...took anti psychotic drugs and is epileptic), and when we eventually get a pediatrician appointment I will ask about that. Though it's looking gloomy on that front because Dot's almost 13 and is considered too old for a pediatrician<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />.\</p><p> </p><p>So that is where it's at. Whew that was a mouthful and it's now 3:30 am so I need to leave it at that. Thanks again all, if I've missed any questions I apologize, I'll try to catch them next time. night all. D</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dudley24, post: 385180"] Thank you to all of you. I have updated my info. I needed to vent while I had a minute but at 2 in the morning I found more time. I will answer each question as best as I can. My daughter was officially diagnosed with ADD at the age of 5. I say that because there were obvious signs when she was 3 but my doctor wouldn't say officially she was ADD until she was school age, and would not prescribe medication until then. There were no blood tests just a piece of paper with questions about her behavior, and my doctor's experience with her 2 ADHD kids. At first the Concerta that she was prescribed worked wonderfully, with exception of the loss of appetite and difficulty sleeping. Dot (as we have recently nick named her) presented behavior challenged not related to the ADD about a year after that. Foul temper, lying, being very defiant, separation anxiety etc, but everyone assumed it was related to being separated from her father, and my folks believed I was being too hard on her...thus a break in unified forces began, (families, gotta love em:frowny:) Around grade 2 I got seriously worried about her health because she still wasn't gaining any weight and her defiance was getting dangerous...leaving the home boundaries, taking things, running off to talk to strangers, throwing herself on the floor when she couldn't have her way. Also the fibs she was telling her teachers about me (Like I was drinking myself to sleep, that I hit her, or that she was not being fed at home, not being provided lunches etc.) Then there were the outright lies to my parents but she had already figured out we weren't seeing eye to eye and she could easily manipulate them. Social service visits began :frowny: I wanted to have her see a pediatrician but my doctor wouldn't make the referal, always suggesting that because I myself are clinically depressed I was probably just over reacting. My parents also believed the same. I finally moved away from my parents two years ago and met my hubby. He was of the belief that a unified family lots of love and stability would help her. Two years later (God bless him) and many attempts to bond Dot is just as defiant as ever. A year ago we finally got her in to see a Pediatrician. He was supposed to be some BIG SHOT, many accelaids and honors etc etc (learned eventually all that stuff meant was that he thinks way too much of himself). Again there were questionaires to fill out but no real hands on diagnosis...BigShotMuckymuck, never even did an exam. He's the one who came up with the additional acrynm...Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Pardon my sarcasm when I say he said it like it was supposed to make it all better. By this time the Concerta was up to 36mg and no longer affective. Muckymuck suggested alternatives with even worse side effects and we tried Adderal but that just made her agressive and defiant with ADD. I told Muckymuck I wanted to try homeopathic approach and he said he didn't support that. He felt that perhaps hubby and I needed parenting classes instead.:angry: Hubby and I decided Muckymuck was just full of his own press and we stopped going to see him. I have asked our current GP to refer us to a new pediatrician but nothing has come of that yet...Pediatricians are really hard to get into around here and Muckymuck is the "agreed apon expert in ADD and ADHD":raspberry-tounge: so my decision to seek another pediatrician's opinion didn't go down well. I found an internet thingy...3steps to conquering ADD, bought the book and considered the author's suggestions and from there I decided to take Dot off her medications and put her on a regiment of Protien shakes, liquid vitamins and a suppliment called Neu-be-calm'd which has had some promising results. Now, from what I can tell Dot's ADD symptoms are no worse then they were on the Concerta, but now she's gain 3 pounds in the last month and sleeps like a baby...:happy:. But, there's that defiance thing still smacking us in the face. As for how we dish out the consequences for inappropriate behavior, well mostly groundings. Through the years I have taken things away, tried spanking (found that personally distastful since I came from an abusing background and stopped) I've tried time out, time away, yelling, calm discussions, and the list goes on. I haven't been flippent about each approach either...I put time and patience into each approach and while they initially may have worked eventually Dot just decides she doesn't care and they become ineffective. Case in point, she had a brand new PS2 taken from her 8 months ago and doesn't care if she gets it back, even when I've used that as a negotiating tool. Dot's response, Keep it I don't want it. Admittedly before new hubby our time together consisted mostly of me watching her play her ps2 or going to Oma and Papa's house with the occasional outting or sitting watching tv and cuddling, but I had no car back then and was fighting my own battle with depression and stress, and a demanding fulltime job. Dot is a very high maintenance child who demands alot of attention, pyshically, emotionally and mentally. For the first 10 years of her life she got all of my attention regardless of my personal problems. Now, I realize that the new hubby and new brother may be part of her "issues" now but she's also gotten more attention from my hubby and she is incredibly good with her brother...a dream come true according to Dot, and as a family unit we now do more things together and as mother and daughter we spend more quality time together. But at the same time there have been some missed opportunity for fun times because of the "consequences" of inappropriate behavior. As for the neuro stuff well, I hadn't considered that in all honesty (her father had psychological issues...took anti psychotic drugs and is epileptic), and when we eventually get a pediatrician appointment I will ask about that. Though it's looking gloomy on that front because Dot's almost 13 and is considered too old for a pediatrician:raspberry-tounge::frowny:.\ So that is where it's at. Whew that was a mouthful and it's now 3:30 am so I need to leave it at that. Thanks again all, if I've missed any questions I apologize, I'll try to catch them next time. night all. D [/QUOTE]
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