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General Parenting
After 9 years of this I'm not sure I'm going to survive
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<blockquote data-quote="Josie" data-source="post: 387626" data-attributes="member: 1792"><p>If you would like to have her there to surprise your friend's son, then I would just tell your daughter that you had changed your mind and she could come because it meant so much to the boy. For other consequences, maybe take away her phone, computer access, etc. so she would "have more time to get chores done".</p><p></p><p>Even if you can't come up with something else, I think it is ok to let it go one time. Apparently, consequences haven't been working too well anyway? So it isn't like not getting the consequence will undermine all of that.</p><p></p><p>My older daughter isn't really a difficult child any more, but back in the day, I sometimes changed my mind about a consequence if it was more of a punishment for me than her. It didn't make a difference for her, then or now.</p><p></p><p>Now, I am very careful about making a consequence that doesn't bother me, but if it happened, I would change it, explain why, and tell her she couldn't count on that happening again.</p><p></p><p>I think, as long as you don't make a habit of it, it will not make a big difference in the long run.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Josie, post: 387626, member: 1792"] If you would like to have her there to surprise your friend's son, then I would just tell your daughter that you had changed your mind and she could come because it meant so much to the boy. For other consequences, maybe take away her phone, computer access, etc. so she would "have more time to get chores done". Even if you can't come up with something else, I think it is ok to let it go one time. Apparently, consequences haven't been working too well anyway? So it isn't like not getting the consequence will undermine all of that. My older daughter isn't really a difficult child any more, but back in the day, I sometimes changed my mind about a consequence if it was more of a punishment for me than her. It didn't make a difference for her, then or now. Now, I am very careful about making a consequence that doesn't bother me, but if it happened, I would change it, explain why, and tell her she couldn't count on that happening again. I think, as long as you don't make a habit of it, it will not make a big difference in the long run. [/QUOTE]
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After 9 years of this I'm not sure I'm going to survive
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