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After 9 years of this I'm not sure I'm going to survive
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 388499" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Hmmmm. From your last posts............I'd be leaning more toward autistic spectrum (which aspergers is part of ) than ADD, as autism is often mistaken for ADD. Which makes it even more critical that you push to have the neurospsych evaluation done asap.</p><p></p><p>This is going to come out sounding weird, but it's late and I really should be in bed, so bear with me. lol Parenting a child on the autistic spectrum is NOT the same as parenting a "normal" child simply because they don't respond normally to stimuli or typical discipline as "normal" kids do. My son Travis is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), which is fairly far down on the spectrum for autism. When he was very young he nearly drove me nuts, to put it mildly. We be doing something, it would be going great, then poof! he'd shut down (literally) and you couldn't do a thing with him. I learned through trial and much error to leave him alone when he did that and ignore it. It wasn't defiant behavior although it appeared to be. He was in sensory overload and he'd shut down. If I did make the mistake of trying to move, talk to him omg it threw him into a rage of unbelievable proportions. Gradually I learned what things could trigger him to go into shut down mode and avoid them most of the time. (real life means you can't do it 100 percent of the time lol) But alot of his behaviors could easily been mistaken for ADD/ODD.........which in fact he was evaluated for both.</p><p></p><p>Have you got a good daily routine going for difficult child? I found with Travis having a daily routine was critical in preventing unwanted behavior. Seemed like as long as he knew when such and such was going to happen, he was fine. If he was left hanging........he feel apart. I see the same with my grandsons who are also autistic.</p><p></p><p>Consistency was also critical, even if it appears NOT to be working. And believe me, for years it seemed not to work at all for Travis. But by his mid teen years.......it really began to pay off. And also when I look back now.........I do see that it did make a huge difference......it just didn't seem like it when I was deep in the trenches. lol And of course they're never going to be perfect. You'll still have melt downs and unwanted behavior.......it will just be less. Otherwise they'd be easy child's and you wouldn't have had to look for our board.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p></p><p>Spanking, yelling never phased Travis. I used time out, his room, and taking things away. (hard to ground a kid with no friends)</p><p></p><p>Also.....punishment never applied to special occasions. I mean geez, with a difficult child they'd never get to do anything fun......or maybe that was just mine. lol So if it was going to say run into a holiday or like this special birthday thing.......it would apply before and after but not during the special thing. Worked out pretty well for us.</p><p></p><p>Believe me.........when you're right in the thick of it everyday you firmly believe that your kid is the worst on the planet. I used to count the days until Travis turned 18. lol When he did, it turned out not to be a big deal. Figures. But hey, it's what got me through some of the really bad days.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 388499, member: 84"] Hmmmm. From your last posts............I'd be leaning more toward autistic spectrum (which aspergers is part of ) than ADD, as autism is often mistaken for ADD. Which makes it even more critical that you push to have the neurospsych evaluation done asap. This is going to come out sounding weird, but it's late and I really should be in bed, so bear with me. lol Parenting a child on the autistic spectrum is NOT the same as parenting a "normal" child simply because they don't respond normally to stimuli or typical discipline as "normal" kids do. My son Travis is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), which is fairly far down on the spectrum for autism. When he was very young he nearly drove me nuts, to put it mildly. We be doing something, it would be going great, then poof! he'd shut down (literally) and you couldn't do a thing with him. I learned through trial and much error to leave him alone when he did that and ignore it. It wasn't defiant behavior although it appeared to be. He was in sensory overload and he'd shut down. If I did make the mistake of trying to move, talk to him omg it threw him into a rage of unbelievable proportions. Gradually I learned what things could trigger him to go into shut down mode and avoid them most of the time. (real life means you can't do it 100 percent of the time lol) But alot of his behaviors could easily been mistaken for ADD/ODD.........which in fact he was evaluated for both. Have you got a good daily routine going for difficult child? I found with Travis having a daily routine was critical in preventing unwanted behavior. Seemed like as long as he knew when such and such was going to happen, he was fine. If he was left hanging........he feel apart. I see the same with my grandsons who are also autistic. Consistency was also critical, even if it appears NOT to be working. And believe me, for years it seemed not to work at all for Travis. But by his mid teen years.......it really began to pay off. And also when I look back now.........I do see that it did make a huge difference......it just didn't seem like it when I was deep in the trenches. lol And of course they're never going to be perfect. You'll still have melt downs and unwanted behavior.......it will just be less. Otherwise they'd be easy child's and you wouldn't have had to look for our board.:winking::raspberry-tounge: Spanking, yelling never phased Travis. I used time out, his room, and taking things away. (hard to ground a kid with no friends) Also.....punishment never applied to special occasions. I mean geez, with a difficult child they'd never get to do anything fun......or maybe that was just mine. lol So if it was going to say run into a holiday or like this special birthday thing.......it would apply before and after but not during the special thing. Worked out pretty well for us. Believe me.........when you're right in the thick of it everyday you firmly believe that your kid is the worst on the planet. I used to count the days until Travis turned 18. lol When he did, it turned out not to be a big deal. Figures. But hey, it's what got me through some of the really bad days. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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