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After 9 years of this I'm not sure I'm going to survive
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<blockquote data-quote="dudley24" data-source="post: 388612"><p>Hound Dog</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>thanks for the imput. I'm convinced that more investigation is needed in regards to Dot's diagnosis but from the research I've already done on autism I'm pretty sure I can rule that out. Dot doesn't have outbursts now adays. Actually she holds a lot of her anger in and when I see her doing that I spend time talking it through with her until I can see the anger leaving her. I've always been very good at reading her body language and she's alot like me in that she can't hide her emotions all that well, or maybe she just can't from me. I may have to redefine how I view Dot's unwanted behavior as the more I read here the more I see she's not as defiant as she is resistant. When I or my hubby ask her to do something and she decides she doesn't wish to do it, Dot will either announce that she wishes to do X instead of what we've asked of her or she'll come up with an alternative to the instructions we've issued. Sometimes Dot will simply ignore the request and go and do what she's decided she would rather do and will have to be redirected, but eventually, and usually with some intense discussion it will get done. Now, in those instances where she has decided she doesn't wish to do it and has ultimately been forced into it a sloppy job with ensue and further intense discussions are necessary for the chore to get completed properly. In those instances where she has thought of an alternative route to the completion of the job we can expect it to take 3xs as long as normal and further prodding and many reminders must be employed. Dot would love nothing better than to have the days go by with her enjoying herself and not have to do anything that requires effort on her part unless it's something that she enjoys doing. 24/7 play time is Dot's ideal life. Unfortunately that also includes school. </p><p> </p><p>As for sensory over load, Dot can sit and play her PS2 for hours on end without blinking an eye, burning through game after game, without so much as a bathroom break... but ask her to change the kitty litter and she's suddenly hungry and has to pee or is suddenly tired and it takes her an hour to do the job...when you say to her, "hey the quicker you can get it done the quicker you can get back to your game" she takes that as an opportunity to negotiate her way out of doing it....wasting more time, instead of just doing the job and aggrivating her mother. My hubby believes she has the widest lazy streak known to man and I have a tendency to believe there's some ODD stuff going on. though in all honesty after being on this site and looking around a bit I'm starting to think my hubby might be right.</p><p> </p><p>Also, just to clear something up. Spanking was/has been the only form of punishment Dot's ever responded to. But...as I mentioned before I found the experience distasteful as it just brought up old stuff from childhood that I didnt want to deal with and it made Dot afraid of me and I hated that feeling most of all. I spanked for a relatively short time but it took many years for Dot to get over her fear of being hit...I just can't go there again (aside from the fact that at almost 13 she's too old for that now)</p><p> </p><p>I do appreciate the imput everyone has given me. If only one thing is clear right now, it would be that I need to have her re-evaluated and soon. Thanks again. D</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dudley24, post: 388612"] Hound Dog thanks for the imput. I'm convinced that more investigation is needed in regards to Dot's diagnosis but from the research I've already done on autism I'm pretty sure I can rule that out. Dot doesn't have outbursts now adays. Actually she holds a lot of her anger in and when I see her doing that I spend time talking it through with her until I can see the anger leaving her. I've always been very good at reading her body language and she's alot like me in that she can't hide her emotions all that well, or maybe she just can't from me. I may have to redefine how I view Dot's unwanted behavior as the more I read here the more I see she's not as defiant as she is resistant. When I or my hubby ask her to do something and she decides she doesn't wish to do it, Dot will either announce that she wishes to do X instead of what we've asked of her or she'll come up with an alternative to the instructions we've issued. Sometimes Dot will simply ignore the request and go and do what she's decided she would rather do and will have to be redirected, but eventually, and usually with some intense discussion it will get done. Now, in those instances where she has decided she doesn't wish to do it and has ultimately been forced into it a sloppy job with ensue and further intense discussions are necessary for the chore to get completed properly. In those instances where she has thought of an alternative route to the completion of the job we can expect it to take 3xs as long as normal and further prodding and many reminders must be employed. Dot would love nothing better than to have the days go by with her enjoying herself and not have to do anything that requires effort on her part unless it's something that she enjoys doing. 24/7 play time is Dot's ideal life. Unfortunately that also includes school. As for sensory over load, Dot can sit and play her PS2 for hours on end without blinking an eye, burning through game after game, without so much as a bathroom break... but ask her to change the kitty litter and she's suddenly hungry and has to pee or is suddenly tired and it takes her an hour to do the job...when you say to her, "hey the quicker you can get it done the quicker you can get back to your game" she takes that as an opportunity to negotiate her way out of doing it....wasting more time, instead of just doing the job and aggrivating her mother. My hubby believes she has the widest lazy streak known to man and I have a tendency to believe there's some ODD stuff going on. though in all honesty after being on this site and looking around a bit I'm starting to think my hubby might be right. Also, just to clear something up. Spanking was/has been the only form of punishment Dot's ever responded to. But...as I mentioned before I found the experience distasteful as it just brought up old stuff from childhood that I didnt want to deal with and it made Dot afraid of me and I hated that feeling most of all. I spanked for a relatively short time but it took many years for Dot to get over her fear of being hit...I just can't go there again (aside from the fact that at almost 13 she's too old for that now) I do appreciate the imput everyone has given me. If only one thing is clear right now, it would be that I need to have her re-evaluated and soon. Thanks again. D [/QUOTE]
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