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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 251761" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>ML - </p><p> </p><p>I don't know if I would look at his negatively - and by negatively I mean if you took all the color out of what is going on and got down to the bare meat of the problem - what is it really? </p><p> </p><p>There is no anxiety? - Then wouldn't it seem that it's a test of wills? If it is not swimming and karate - what would be next? Going to bed or not going to bed? Eating or not eating. Sometimes I had to replace (your swimming and karate) with things like that because I ABSOLUTELY could not get Dude involved in anything at all.....NOTHING. NADA. Not that I didn't try - but he had NO interest in anything other than riding bikes. </p><p> </p><p>But - when we took him to the BMX arena and he saw that there were men telling the kids what to do and how to do it? THAT was the END! He (at age 10) did not need anyone telling him HOW to ride a bike fast. And that? That was the end of it for me. </p><p> </p><p>I wouldn't think of it as swimming and karate - I would think of it as an opportunity for other people to tell your kid what to do and train him to stay within the norms of social acceptance with a team goal. </p><p> </p><p>I think despite the name calling - (which you can work on) I'd buck up and take him to whatever - and make it clear that if he dropped swimming - then there will be a replacement sport - like - ballet. And if he likes ballet? Then great. One of our regulars here has a son who danced in NY - fantastic. So dont' give up hope. Maybe he needs to try other sports or activities on for size? Piano playing? Art class? Ceramics? I dunno - </p><p> </p><p>Maybe just get some earplugs- (not kidding) and keep them handy. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 251761, member: 4964"] ML - I don't know if I would look at his negatively - and by negatively I mean if you took all the color out of what is going on and got down to the bare meat of the problem - what is it really? There is no anxiety? - Then wouldn't it seem that it's a test of wills? If it is not swimming and karate - what would be next? Going to bed or not going to bed? Eating or not eating. Sometimes I had to replace (your swimming and karate) with things like that because I ABSOLUTELY could not get Dude involved in anything at all.....NOTHING. NADA. Not that I didn't try - but he had NO interest in anything other than riding bikes. But - when we took him to the BMX arena and he saw that there were men telling the kids what to do and how to do it? THAT was the END! He (at age 10) did not need anyone telling him HOW to ride a bike fast. And that? That was the end of it for me. I wouldn't think of it as swimming and karate - I would think of it as an opportunity for other people to tell your kid what to do and train him to stay within the norms of social acceptance with a team goal. I think despite the name calling - (which you can work on) I'd buck up and take him to whatever - and make it clear that if he dropped swimming - then there will be a replacement sport - like - ballet. And if he likes ballet? Then great. One of our regulars here has a son who danced in NY - fantastic. So dont' give up hope. Maybe he needs to try other sports or activities on for size? Piano playing? Art class? Ceramics? I dunno - Maybe just get some earplugs- (not kidding) and keep them handy. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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