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Aggravated and humiliated (ridiculously long; sorry)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 378596" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You said the doctor disagrees with this. So do I. Especially if the child is bright. The testing environment is generally a low distraction environment. The room is often darker, quieter, and low-movement. A classroom is generally a bright, stimulating place. But testing usually requires all stimulating (and also educational) material to be removed, for fear of students using it to find answers. </p><p></p><p>So formal testing and exams, ADD kids often do a lot better.</p><p></p><p>One thing to watch for, and to NOT let teachers blow you off about - if Odin is very bright, he will be frustrated with himself even while achieving at average level. For a bright kid, average is under-achieving. But too often, teachers will say, "He's doing OK, don't worry," when the child should be doing a lot better. And they feel it inside and begin to behave badly and also often feel anxious and depressed.</p><p></p><p>The aim is for each child to be the best they can be. That means a child who simply isn't that smart, needs to feel OK about this and to feel encouraged about what he can do. And a bright kid who for various reasons can't stay on task, needs to be helped to find ways to manage, in order to do as well as he should, even if he is already doing well.</p><p></p><p>He will develop his own strategies.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 is very ADHD (as well as Aspie). The ability to focus is intense, once he can avoid distraction. He taught himself to avoid distraction by mentally cutting down on sensory input. When he concentrates, it is so intense that he really can't hear if you talk to him. We had to go touch his shoulder and turn his hear to look at us and make eye contact. And even then, we had to write a list for him of things to do, and not rely on verbal messages.</p><p></p><p>Don't be fooled by the awareness of emotion - difficult child 3's first 'game' he played with us as a baby and toddler, was "display the emotion". We would say an emotion and model the expression on our faces. it was stylised, it was fun. And it was the only imitative game difficult child 3 could play. You know how you can say to a baby, "Where is baby's eye?" and then teach the baby to touch his eye? "Where is baby's nose?" and he touches his nose. And so on. Well, difficult child 3 could not play that game. He could not learn the parts of the face or body. But he COULD learn to model expressions ins response to them being named. "Show me - happy!" and difficult child 3 would smile. "Show me - sad!" and difficult child 3 would quiver his bottom lip. "Show me - angry!" and the baby face would scowl. We went on to add other expressions - confused (finger on chin, looking quizzical), surprised, scared, excited.</p><p>Years later, difficult child 3 would use these modelled expressions to communicate his feelings to the world. His teacher in Kindergarten said to me, "He's clearly not really angry, he is just pretending," because the anger expression was clearly assumed by difficult child 3, put on like wearing a mask. But I made her understand, difficult child 3 had no understanding of natural expressions. Putting on his angry face was the only way he could communicate to her that he really did feel angry.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is now 16 and although Maths & Science (plus computers and related topics) are his best subjects, he also has a knack for poetry and can discuss poetry at a sophisticated level. In some areas. This has really puzzled his teachers, who have a hard time "getting it". It's just not typical.</p><p></p><p>Your findings on the reading do indicate that Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is less likely. But don't totally rule it out. Keep it on the backburner, rather than in the bin. Focus on the ADD-inattentive as the working hypothesis, also on what I'm fairly sure is a high (but not easily accurately measured) IQ. Encourage him, tell him you believe in him and that he is smart regardless of what he sometimes feels or what people sometimes say. If he finds something he loves, support him in it. It could change to something else - it happens. Follow him, support him. It can really help a kid who is otherwise feeling anxious and depressed, to have a hobby or interest he loves, and parents who support him. For example, difficult child 3 loves to take photos. We couldn't afford to let him have free rein with our film camera, or we would have been paying a fortune for film development. Then we bought our first digital camera, and we couldn't risk a little kid breaking it. But when we could, we let him 'play' while I took him for a walk in the bush. WHat we saw in the photos that this little kid too, blew us away. We quickly found that photography was helping him learn patience, too. If you want to take a photo of a bird, you first have to go where the bird is. But the bird will fly away. So you sit quietly, not moving, and wait. And wait. Eventually, if you can be still long enough, the bird will come back and you get your photo. We never thought difficult child 3 would ever be able to sit still for so long!</p><p></p><p>Whatever your child can handle, stretch him. Work that brain. He's going to need every advantage yo can give him.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 378596, member: 1991"] You said the doctor disagrees with this. So do I. Especially if the child is bright. The testing environment is generally a low distraction environment. The room is often darker, quieter, and low-movement. A classroom is generally a bright, stimulating place. But testing usually requires all stimulating (and also educational) material to be removed, for fear of students using it to find answers. So formal testing and exams, ADD kids often do a lot better. One thing to watch for, and to NOT let teachers blow you off about - if Odin is very bright, he will be frustrated with himself even while achieving at average level. For a bright kid, average is under-achieving. But too often, teachers will say, "He's doing OK, don't worry," when the child should be doing a lot better. And they feel it inside and begin to behave badly and also often feel anxious and depressed. The aim is for each child to be the best they can be. That means a child who simply isn't that smart, needs to feel OK about this and to feel encouraged about what he can do. And a bright kid who for various reasons can't stay on task, needs to be helped to find ways to manage, in order to do as well as he should, even if he is already doing well. He will develop his own strategies. difficult child 1 is very ADHD (as well as Aspie). The ability to focus is intense, once he can avoid distraction. He taught himself to avoid distraction by mentally cutting down on sensory input. When he concentrates, it is so intense that he really can't hear if you talk to him. We had to go touch his shoulder and turn his hear to look at us and make eye contact. And even then, we had to write a list for him of things to do, and not rely on verbal messages. Don't be fooled by the awareness of emotion - difficult child 3's first 'game' he played with us as a baby and toddler, was "display the emotion". We would say an emotion and model the expression on our faces. it was stylised, it was fun. And it was the only imitative game difficult child 3 could play. You know how you can say to a baby, "Where is baby's eye?" and then teach the baby to touch his eye? "Where is baby's nose?" and he touches his nose. And so on. Well, difficult child 3 could not play that game. He could not learn the parts of the face or body. But he COULD learn to model expressions ins response to them being named. "Show me - happy!" and difficult child 3 would smile. "Show me - sad!" and difficult child 3 would quiver his bottom lip. "Show me - angry!" and the baby face would scowl. We went on to add other expressions - confused (finger on chin, looking quizzical), surprised, scared, excited. Years later, difficult child 3 would use these modelled expressions to communicate his feelings to the world. His teacher in Kindergarten said to me, "He's clearly not really angry, he is just pretending," because the anger expression was clearly assumed by difficult child 3, put on like wearing a mask. But I made her understand, difficult child 3 had no understanding of natural expressions. Putting on his angry face was the only way he could communicate to her that he really did feel angry. difficult child 3 is now 16 and although Maths & Science (plus computers and related topics) are his best subjects, he also has a knack for poetry and can discuss poetry at a sophisticated level. In some areas. This has really puzzled his teachers, who have a hard time "getting it". It's just not typical. Your findings on the reading do indicate that Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is less likely. But don't totally rule it out. Keep it on the backburner, rather than in the bin. Focus on the ADD-inattentive as the working hypothesis, also on what I'm fairly sure is a high (but not easily accurately measured) IQ. Encourage him, tell him you believe in him and that he is smart regardless of what he sometimes feels or what people sometimes say. If he finds something he loves, support him in it. It could change to something else - it happens. Follow him, support him. It can really help a kid who is otherwise feeling anxious and depressed, to have a hobby or interest he loves, and parents who support him. For example, difficult child 3 loves to take photos. We couldn't afford to let him have free rein with our film camera, or we would have been paying a fortune for film development. Then we bought our first digital camera, and we couldn't risk a little kid breaking it. But when we could, we let him 'play' while I took him for a walk in the bush. WHat we saw in the photos that this little kid too, blew us away. We quickly found that photography was helping him learn patience, too. If you want to take a photo of a bird, you first have to go where the bird is. But the bird will fly away. So you sit quietly, not moving, and wait. And wait. Eventually, if you can be still long enough, the bird will come back and you get your photo. We never thought difficult child 3 would ever be able to sit still for so long! Whatever your child can handle, stretch him. Work that brain. He's going to need every advantage yo can give him. Marg [/QUOTE]
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