All over a

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Wiped Out, Jun 30, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    recycling bin. My mom called me in tears this afternoon. She lives in an apartment building. She tends to do too much that she shouldn't but she means it as help. She sometimes shovels the driveway in the winter, plants flowers in the spring outside for all to enjoy.

    A couple of weeks ago she had a neighbor get all mad at her for taking a paper towel off the clothesline that had been there for weeks. The lady was upset because, she feels Mom shouldn't do things like that.

    The lady hasn't talked to her in 3 weeks. Today their complex received a recycling bin as their city is going to recycling. Mom decided to move it from the front steps to the back by the garbage. Granted she should probably have left it where it was, again she was trying to be helpful.

    The lady was outside and Mom told her she was moving it to the back. About 1/2 hour the lady called Mom and told her she moved it back and unless Mom was managerial staff she should leave things alone.

    This has driven my mom to tears and cutting. She said she used a safety pin on her upper arm and it was bleeding so she covered it. She thinks she needs to go back in the psychiatric hospital. I tried to let her know she can't let this lady get to her while gently trying to suggest maybe she should just leave things for the managerial staff.

    Any suggestions on anything more I could have said or done? So sad this is all over something so minor!
  2. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    That is hard. I didn't know you had to deal with mental illness with your mom as well. It must feel like you carry the world on your shoulders. I feel that way dealing with my sister as well as my kids.

    I think you said what you could to help, the only other thing I can think of is if you could encourage your mom to do some volunteer work somewhere that would appreciate her for wanting to give to others and get her out away from this other person.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm wondering......if this woman's comments were enough to start Mom cutting.......if perhaps it was the tip of the ice burg. Although I'm surprised she told you she cut. Nichole would never admit to cutting....I had to look for it. Perhaps this has been building and this was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak?

    The neighbor may be trying to look out for your Mom's welfare. Depending on her age, doing some of this stuff could be a health hazard for her. Or could just be annoyed your Mom is taking it upon herself to try to make the place look nicer. There are people out there like the latter........way too many in my opinion.

    (((hugs))) I also didn't realize you were dealing with mental issues with Mom. It's hard, I know, and harder still to be able to judge the situation.

  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathie-Thanks-it is overwhelming at times. I have suggested the volunteer thing, she does a little at the local hospital but it's not enough to keep her busy.

    Lisa-It could be just one last straw for her. She really is very lonely. I feel bad because we don't get there often enough. It's hard on the whole family when we go, we love her but she is hard to be around (I feel awful saying that).

    The neighbor truly is a pain-not trying to be helpful-other things through the years tells me this. Yet when she was hurt in a car accident, my mom was the one who helped her more than anyone else.

    Mom has been dealing with major depression her entire adult life. She had a fairly rough childhood and has no self confidence. She has been in and out of the psychiatric hospital since I was very young. It's hard that in all of these years she hasn't been able to really come out of the depression.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tell your mom to call the staff and request the bin be put in the backyard so as not to be an eye sore in front of the building.

    This cutting may be one she told you about, but could there be other times she has not told you about? If she thinks she needs psychiatric hospital - why not bring her there?
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wendy-I'm sure this isn't the first time she has cut, she has told me about other times and I'm sure there have been times she hasn't told me. She may end up needing the psychiatric hospital (I don't live near enough to bring her) but she did seem to be doing a bit better today. She did talk to the manager, I'm guessing it is in the back by now.