All those 'fallers' out there...

[Abbey]

I swear, I am the BIGGEST clutz on Earth. Toss in being nearly 50 and the bruises are lovely. They get that nice purplish tone. I should be in the dictionary for the word bruise.

I'm going to a job interview earlier this week. Got my nice suit on, etc. High heels and slick tile floors are NOT a good match. Fortunately there was no one to notice my incredible fall to the floor. I'd actually like to see it replayed in slow mo.

So, both knees are lovely, right hip is even more lovely...guess I won't be wearing shorts anytime soon.

Yikes.

Abbey

 

[4sumrzn]

Oh goodness....sorry to hear you took a fall. I'm one of those that took a dive in a parking lot a while back. For sure could tell I'm not the spring chicken I used to be.....VERY ouchy! I hope your bruises go away soon. I even have a scar on my knee from my brilliant fall! Oh....I'm glad you didn't have an audience like I did....THAT doesn't help at all! I'm sure the store I fell at kept playing the video over & over laughing that day. I was waiting for someone to tell me it was on YouTube

 

[Star*]

Dear sister klutz,

As a life-long member of the totally unbalanced, couldn't walk a straight line sober, must love to bounce, nickname Bruiser club -

I laugh each and every time I see a covergirl applying liquid makeup to her face -

I think - MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! (thunderous revelation)

IT'S FOR YOUR FACE AND NOT YOUR KNEES AND SHINS??

ahhhhhhh ha moment!

 

[Abbey]

I am totally serious. If I even LOOK at a corner of a table, I get a bruise on my hip. It's like it's a calculated inside job of all tables on earth.

Now, I need to tackle what MAN made up high heeled shoes and requires them for a job. I'll hunt him down.

Abbey

 

[Star*]

You hunt him down -

I'LL bruise him!

 

[Marcie Mac]

A few weeks ago I had to move easy child's car out of the driveway so we could get the truck out - I remember getting out of the car and walking to the driveway.

SO came out a few minutes later and wanted to know what in the I was doing laying on the pavement, laughing like a lunatic. I didn't trip on the curb cause I was too far away. I don't even remember falling but I know I put out my hands cause the palm of my hands were a mess.

I have been known to trip on nothing at all, at 5ft 6 will hit a tree branch head on that SO at 6 ft 3 missed. The other day we were going to eat lunch and I turned my head to say something to SO and walked smacked right into the telephone booth to my right. Didn't even register that it was there.. My kitchen cabinets are deadly weapons because it doesn't even register they are open before I make contact with my head..

Believe it or not, I cannot jump rope LOL

I feel your pain about being a klutz..

Marcie

 

[trinityroyal]

Is it possible to be coordinated AND a clums all at the same time?
YES! YES, a thousand times YES!

I can walk in 5 inch heels. I can dance. Heck, I can even balance a stack of books on my head as I walk around a room.

But...doorways, shelves and tables leap out at me when I'm not paying attention and trip me up. I stumble over patterns in the carpet, or nothing at all. I have even fallen off chairs when I was sitting perfectly still.

The other day, I was racing off to a meeting at work. I was dashing down the hall, went through the door into the meeting room, managed to get my handbag strap tangled around the door handle. Made it halfway into the room before ricocheting backwards, flying back through the door and landing on my behind in the hallway. Very Graceful (sigh).

(I'm also spilly. Can't leave full cups or glasses within 4 feet of me, or they will just spontaneously tip over and spill their contents everywhere)

As for the kitchen cabinets...it's a good thing I'm so short. I can just breeze right under them. Otherwise, I would have a huge scar right in the middle of my forehead.

Lots of fun.

 

[Abbey]

My gosh...I'm glad I'm not the only one. (I was starting to have self-esteem issues.)

I can dance the night away, but give me a table or marble floor...I'm history. (Had a few wars with my cupboards in the past.) I'm tired of people thinking that my husband beats me up, which he doesn't. He can be a donkey's arse, but he doesn't do that.

The other day, I was racing off to a meeting at work. I was dashing down the hall, went through the door into the meeting room, managed to get my handbag strap tangled around the door handle. Made it halfway into the room before ricocheting backwards, flying back through the door and landing on my behind in the hallway. Very Graceful (sigh).

You had to get a good giggle out of that, albiet embarrassing. I want to see the video.

I have been known to trip on nothing at all.

Yep...join the crowd. If there is a crack in the sidewalk, I'll find it and fall.

All my life people have asked me why I didn't play basketball as I'm tall. Well, for one, they didn't have it for girls when I was in school and two...reread the previous posts. I couldn't run down a court dribbling a ball and actually make it in the basket. I'd have to pick myself up off the floor 5 times before I made it there.

On a more serious note, I've struggled for many years with eye issues. My left eye is...well, bad. I've had depth preception issues that I was treated for as a child but never really got better. Tried and tried various glasses with no luck. (I probably shouldn't be driving. Ugh. Don't tell the DMV.) I see a curb that looks to be 3 feet away, yet it's only 3 inches away. So...I fall.

doctor constantly urges me to have eye surgery but I'm terrified of it. Right now, at least I can see...somewhat if I close my left eye. There is a huge risk in the surgery. What if it doesn't work? Do I rely on husband then? HAHAHA... nope.

So, I'll start the bruise club.

Abbey

 

[KTMom91]

This is definitely a club for me. Still have the bruised, swollen knee from my fall several weeks ago. Last night I decided I was all better and went to the gym for water aerobics, which was a mistake. My knee is now hugely fat and it really hurts to walk.

Is the logo for The Bruise Club an icebag?

 

[Abbey]

Is the logo for The Bruise Club an icebag?

I'll start looking for a logo. Maybe a really nasty looking bruise...

Abbey

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

Trinity Royal,

How can you possibly fall of a chair when you are sitting perfectly still? I don't get it.

Love, Esther

 

[Abbey]

Trinity Royal,

How can you possibly fall of a chair when you are sitting perfectly still? I don't get it.

Love, Esther

Ohhhh...it's possible.

Abbey

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

How?

 

[Abbey]

How?

It's as simple as looking aside...next thing you know you're on the floor. I guess it's balance.

Abbey

 

[donna723]

Hi Esther! Good to "see" you!

Where I used to work we once had a guy fall on his face while getting up out of an office chair with wheels on the bottom. Banged him up pretty good too! He got (I swear!) a two-page memo from the powers-that-be on the "proper way to get up from a chair"! Which was their caring, concerned way of saying ... "It was your own stupid fault! Don't even think of suing us!"

I didn't used to be but I am now a charter member of the Klutz Club! I took a monumental spill at work, in the middle of the Admin. building, in front of at least thirty people! We have very slick hard floors, tile over concrete, and rows of locking mailboxes along one wall. It was pouring down rain one day and some fool apparently had propped their umbrella up against the wall while they got their mail and it made a large but very hard to see puddle. I stepped in it, my feet went out from under me, and I landed very hard and very ungracefully on the floor while my lunch box opened up and all my stuff in little containers went rolling down the hallway! I think I surprised a few people who had previously been unaware that I even knew words like that!

And did you know that it is also very easy to slip on grass that has frost on it??? Especially if you're holding on to a leash with a very strong, very energetic little dog on the other end and she's r-e-a-l-l-y gotta pee! I've hit the ground at least a dozen times, but at least with the dog yanking me along, I fall forwards instead of backwards. But my knees and the palms of my hands are getting battle scars!

 

[Abbey]

Welcome, Donna!! The club is getting larger.

Abbey

 

[Marguerite]

I've mentioned this one before... my best friend had a very nasty fall which eventually required surgery to repair her knee. But the bruising she got form it was extensive and VERY dark purple. A royal purple, you might say, because her son said it was a King of bruises that should be christened Robert. As in, "Robert the Bruise".

It's become a standard name now, in her family and ours, for any large, dark purple bruise.

On a serious note - if you keep finding yourself having these sort of accidents, you should get your peripheral vision checked. Also get your eyes checked for possible glaucoma onset. You can begin to lose peripheral vision and just not be aware of it for some time, because the brain 'fudges in' a lot of what we think we see. Loss of vision doesn't mean blank patches in our sight, it means we don't see objects when we should.

Have you ever done that little test to find your blind spot? Everyone has a blind spot, it corresponds to where the optic nerve leaves the eyeball and heads for the brain. Naturally there are no vision cells at that point, but we're not aware of it because the brain masks it with background.
With loss of peripheral vision, the same sort of thing happens but on a larger scale. But it is easy and painless to test for. The tests should be done especially as we get older.
There are treatments for it and a lot vision loss can be halted especially if you identify it soon.

Marg

 

[Hound dog]

Abbey

If there is a crack or hole in the sidewalk, I'll be sure to find it. If there is a curb to miss either stepping up or down, I'll be certain to miss it. I've fallen out of a chair. I've fallen UP the steps as well as down the darn things. If someone leaves a cabinet door open the corner will find the side of my head every time.

The kids think I'm a riot. And if I didn't laugh at myself I'd probably cry.

Thankfully I don't bruise easily, and most of the time I don't wind up with serious injury.

Last major one I had was during one of Nichole and boyfriend's drama's. I sort of fell of his porch step with Aubrey in my arms and twisted/sprained the very devil out of my foot making sure she didn't wind up on the ground.

I'm getting worse as I get older, and I'm finding that I'm more cautious these days.

Seems like I'm in good company.

Hugs

 

[meowbunny]

Okay, add another one to list. Probably my best fall was in traffic court. My name was called, I got, started walking down the middle of the aisle, slipped, landed on my tush and literally stopped in front of the judge's bench. "I've seen grand entrances before but this, young lady, ........" The plus was he felt so sorry for me he let me off with no fine.

I also have little depth perception. One thing I found that really did help me learn to gauge distances was playing pool, especially cutting the ball. When driving, I don't try to guess where the car is in front of me, rather, I watch it pass shadows or objects and gauge the distance that way.

 

[Abbey]

Okay, add another one to list. Probably my best fall was in traffic court. My name was called, I got, started walking down the middle of the aisle, slipped, landed on my tush and literally stopped in front of the judge's bench. "I've seen grand entrances before but this, young lady, ........" The plus was he felt so sorry for me he let me off with no fine.

THAT had to be some entrance. Too funny!!!

Now that day 2 has set in, oh my. The bruises have set into a very nice, deep purple. Yuck.

I haven't had my vision checked in about 2 years, but will as soon as I get insurance. The glasses I always end up with are the oddest looking. The left lense looks like a coke bottle while the right lense is wafer thin.

Abbey