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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 671857" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I think the book by Charles Rubin is wonderful. It has helped me a lot over the years.</p><p></p><p>I was only able to stop enabling my daughter by going to a private therapist. She was wonderful and helped me get there step-by-step. She never criticized me or my husband when we would cave in but helped us see that it never really helped anything. One thing that she repeatedly pointed out to us was how resourceful our daughter is in getting what she needs when she is forced to do it herself.</p><p></p><p>I thought about that when I read:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So they were able to figure it out when they had to? Remember that when it gets really bad. They are going to up the ante and try everything that they can think of to get you to give in and help them. Sadly, things will get much worse but you need to keep that line in the sand or they will never believe you again.</p><p></p><p>They are two adults who should be working and taking care of themselves. Between the two of them, even at minimum wage, they should be able to keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomach. It is not your job to do that!</p><p></p><p>I'm glad that you are posting in the Substance Abuse forum. PE is great but there is another side to our stories when substance abuse is a factor. All of us here in the SA forum have dealt with loved ones with mental health and substance abuse issues. We get it.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 671857, member: 1967"] I think the book by Charles Rubin is wonderful. It has helped me a lot over the years. I was only able to stop enabling my daughter by going to a private therapist. She was wonderful and helped me get there step-by-step. She never criticized me or my husband when we would cave in but helped us see that it never really helped anything. One thing that she repeatedly pointed out to us was how resourceful our daughter is in getting what she needs when she is forced to do it herself. I thought about that when I read: So they were able to figure it out when they had to? Remember that when it gets really bad. They are going to up the ante and try everything that they can think of to get you to give in and help them. Sadly, things will get much worse but you need to keep that line in the sand or they will never believe you again. They are two adults who should be working and taking care of themselves. Between the two of them, even at minimum wage, they should be able to keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomach. It is not your job to do that! I'm glad that you are posting in the Substance Abuse forum. PE is great but there is another side to our stories when substance abuse is a factor. All of us here in the SA forum have dealt with loved ones with mental health and substance abuse issues. We get it. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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