Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Alone
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 525240" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The other have good advice. in my humble opinion your husband needs to know what is going on overall but not everyday. Let me clarify. You have GOT to sit husband down and tell him whati s going on and how you feel and that he is going to have to choose to either support you OR give sonny boy a key but he can't have both. He needs to know what sonny boy does to you and why you don't want him around or feel safe in your own home. Most military men I know, even ones who have been discharged, would not tolerate someone making their wife feel the way you do, and sure as sugar would not tolerate the abuser enjoying making their wife feel that way! Once they grasped the actual problem, the solution should be that he supports whatever you choose to do.</p><p></p><p>but husband doesn't need to be called every day to be told all the gory details. </p><p></p><p>lady, you need therapy. you need a therapist to help you handle all that you are feeling and to help you figure out why you have so far tolerated the abuse and not done what you need to do to kick hm out. yes, AK (sorry if the capitalization is off, my shift key is not working properly/consistently) is super cold, but he won't be on the street. He will couch surf for quite a while. this is domestic violence that you are enduring, and you NeED to speak to a dv counselor for some real help. it is usually free, so that should be helpful. </p><p></p><p>your son is using drugs in your home. Those drugs are illegal. He is also abusive to you. Does he hit you or push you or bump you whne you tell him to quiet down so you can sleep? you can just call the cops, ask them to search for drugs, esp if difficult child is high - they can arrest him on the spot for being high, search for drugs and charge him with that, and also charge him with DV and give you a restraining order. your husband can't give hm a key if the law says he can't be on the property, but YOU must first step up and get the law involved. ONLY do this if you will follow throuh and press charges though. otherwise your son just learns to disrespect you and the law further.</p><p></p><p>it is time to talk to husband and take action with sonnyboy. sb needs to go fend for himself or go to jail for the drugs. if you want your son off drugs, you are going to have to kick him out and make him stay out - this means communicating to your husband clearly about what you need and that he needs to choose iether you and home or son, and you need the law involved to make sure your son is gone and doesn't come back to hurt you.</p><p></p><p>i am sorry you are hurting so much. i know how hard it is to have your child enjoy seeing you fall apart and your husband be clueless and unwilling to really see what is going on. been there done that and finally my husband was told to stand by me or go elsewhere with our child. by that time i was afraid that someone was going to be seriously hurt or killed if my son stayed in our home. still took my husband several years to really understand that someone was going to be killed or seriously hurt if our son stayed in our home, but he did stand beside me as I told a judge that my child couldn't come home (Wiz was 14 when this happened, but keeping him here meant someone was going to end up dead.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 525240, member: 1233"] The other have good advice. in my humble opinion your husband needs to know what is going on overall but not everyday. Let me clarify. You have GOT to sit husband down and tell him whati s going on and how you feel and that he is going to have to choose to either support you OR give sonny boy a key but he can't have both. He needs to know what sonny boy does to you and why you don't want him around or feel safe in your own home. Most military men I know, even ones who have been discharged, would not tolerate someone making their wife feel the way you do, and sure as sugar would not tolerate the abuser enjoying making their wife feel that way! Once they grasped the actual problem, the solution should be that he supports whatever you choose to do. but husband doesn't need to be called every day to be told all the gory details. lady, you need therapy. you need a therapist to help you handle all that you are feeling and to help you figure out why you have so far tolerated the abuse and not done what you need to do to kick hm out. yes, AK (sorry if the capitalization is off, my shift key is not working properly/consistently) is super cold, but he won't be on the street. He will couch surf for quite a while. this is domestic violence that you are enduring, and you NeED to speak to a dv counselor for some real help. it is usually free, so that should be helpful. your son is using drugs in your home. Those drugs are illegal. He is also abusive to you. Does he hit you or push you or bump you whne you tell him to quiet down so you can sleep? you can just call the cops, ask them to search for drugs, esp if difficult child is high - they can arrest him on the spot for being high, search for drugs and charge him with that, and also charge him with DV and give you a restraining order. your husband can't give hm a key if the law says he can't be on the property, but YOU must first step up and get the law involved. ONLY do this if you will follow throuh and press charges though. otherwise your son just learns to disrespect you and the law further. it is time to talk to husband and take action with sonnyboy. sb needs to go fend for himself or go to jail for the drugs. if you want your son off drugs, you are going to have to kick him out and make him stay out - this means communicating to your husband clearly about what you need and that he needs to choose iether you and home or son, and you need the law involved to make sure your son is gone and doesn't come back to hurt you. i am sorry you are hurting so much. i know how hard it is to have your child enjoy seeing you fall apart and your husband be clueless and unwilling to really see what is going on. been there done that and finally my husband was told to stand by me or go elsewhere with our child. by that time i was afraid that someone was going to be seriously hurt or killed if my son stayed in our home. still took my husband several years to really understand that someone was going to be killed or seriously hurt if our son stayed in our home, but he did stand beside me as I told a judge that my child couldn't come home (Wiz was 14 when this happened, but keeping him here meant someone was going to end up dead.) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Alone
Top