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Always wondering....
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 109905" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Hi and welcome!</p><p></p><p>First, you need to get some help for you. It truly is impossible to be an effective parent when you're living with such pain and guilt and, more than likely, depression.</p><p></p><p>Part of your daughter's issues are simply her age. Even "good" teenage girls have a tendency to shove their parents, especially mothers away in the early teen years. Any natural obnoxiousness is increased tenfold.</p><p></p><p>The behavior at the bowling party actually sounds pretty typical for the circumstances and her age. Not pleasant to deal with, but at least in the realm of normalcy. Is she a bit more pleasant in private?</p><p></p><p>Who gave her the diagnosis of ODD and how long ago? It is very rare for ODD to stand alone. It is usually co-morbid with another illness (ADHD, bi-polar, etc.). If you can get the underlying issues taken care of, the ODD will freqently resolve itself or at least be less severe. Of course, being a teenage pretty much guarantees some ODDness.</p><p></p><p>Is she on any medications?</p><p></p><p>Has she always disliked being hugged and touched? If so, she may have sensory issues. Was her infancy and childhood on target for development? Any unusual occurrences?</p><p></p><p>Does she have an IEP? Any idea why she isn't doing the work? It might help for her school issues.</p><p></p><p>It is hard for siblings to live with a brother or sister who is "over the top." It might help your son to see a therapist so he can deal with his issues. Trying to be perfect to make up for his sister has to be very wearing.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure others will come along and ask further questions but it might be a few days given the holidays.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, know you're not alone. It really is a wonderful group of people here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 109905, member: 3626"] Hi and welcome! First, you need to get some help for you. It truly is impossible to be an effective parent when you're living with such pain and guilt and, more than likely, depression. Part of your daughter's issues are simply her age. Even "good" teenage girls have a tendency to shove their parents, especially mothers away in the early teen years. Any natural obnoxiousness is increased tenfold. The behavior at the bowling party actually sounds pretty typical for the circumstances and her age. Not pleasant to deal with, but at least in the realm of normalcy. Is she a bit more pleasant in private? Who gave her the diagnosis of ODD and how long ago? It is very rare for ODD to stand alone. It is usually co-morbid with another illness (ADHD, bi-polar, etc.). If you can get the underlying issues taken care of, the ODD will freqently resolve itself or at least be less severe. Of course, being a teenage pretty much guarantees some ODDness. Is she on any medications? Has she always disliked being hugged and touched? If so, she may have sensory issues. Was her infancy and childhood on target for development? Any unusual occurrences? Does she have an IEP? Any idea why she isn't doing the work? It might help for her school issues. It is hard for siblings to live with a brother or sister who is "over the top." It might help your son to see a therapist so he can deal with his issues. Trying to be perfect to make up for his sister has to be very wearing. I'm sure others will come along and ask further questions but it might be a few days given the holidays. In the meantime, know you're not alone. It really is a wonderful group of people here. [/QUOTE]
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