Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Am I a Meddling Mom? Sorry it's long
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 132351" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>What I can see - while it may be true that this girl has her own problems your focus needs to be on him and what can be done to help him establish better coping skills, a wider more diverse range of new friends (including young ladies), and have him focus on why his self esteem is shot. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like he's quite the soccer player - and that is great. He has a lot of self-confidence, but without self esteem he's going to continue to spiral out of control, use, and make poor choices. If he had self esteem - he wouldn't choose young ladies like her and in the same manner - if she had any self esteem - she wouldn't be choosing to target a young man like your son. So she's not totally to blame here. (get a bunch of CD moms together about a girl that's hurt one of our kids and WOW) </p><p></p><p>I would seek out a therapist and upon the first meeting maybe tell him that your son is suffering large time with a problem that is causing him to continually make poor choices, and choose pot as a coping skill. I would further tell him that you don't want to meddle in his affairs so after the initial meeting you really don't feel a need to talk to him unless there is an exercise or problem solving skill you both can work on to benefit your family. </p><p></p><p>IS it meddling? Is it love? Is it maybe an enmeshed relationship? The reason I say that is because it was me....always ME that rode in on the white horse to my sons rescue. In part he became very dependent on me solving things,and I did - I did solve them, better than him - and also because it was less time consuming to ME to just fix it. But I can't have that our whole lives. The more I solved things for him or carry the load in calming him down - the less he was learning on his own - about how to calm HIMSELF down? If you always are there to tie his shoes - he'll never tie them himself. Sometimes the best thing you can do in these situations is just smile and say "I'm here if you need to talk." Then let it go. </p><p></p><p>And as far as future contact if any with this young lady? Honey - I wouldn't do A THING without her Father and Mother or a good camera video being there. You can't fix her - but you can help your son to learn better coping skills. And let him do it on his own except for driving him to and from therapy - my son has learned some exercises on how to help himself when he's angry and I see him using them when I am not around - and I'm just glad. </p><p></p><p>Hugs </p><p>Another Mother of a 17 year old boy trying to fit in somewhere</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 132351, member: 4964"] What I can see - while it may be true that this girl has her own problems your focus needs to be on him and what can be done to help him establish better coping skills, a wider more diverse range of new friends (including young ladies), and have him focus on why his self esteem is shot. It sounds like he's quite the soccer player - and that is great. He has a lot of self-confidence, but without self esteem he's going to continue to spiral out of control, use, and make poor choices. If he had self esteem - he wouldn't choose young ladies like her and in the same manner - if she had any self esteem - she wouldn't be choosing to target a young man like your son. So she's not totally to blame here. (get a bunch of CD moms together about a girl that's hurt one of our kids and WOW) I would seek out a therapist and upon the first meeting maybe tell him that your son is suffering large time with a problem that is causing him to continually make poor choices, and choose pot as a coping skill. I would further tell him that you don't want to meddle in his affairs so after the initial meeting you really don't feel a need to talk to him unless there is an exercise or problem solving skill you both can work on to benefit your family. IS it meddling? Is it love? Is it maybe an enmeshed relationship? The reason I say that is because it was me....always ME that rode in on the white horse to my sons rescue. In part he became very dependent on me solving things,and I did - I did solve them, better than him - and also because it was less time consuming to ME to just fix it. But I can't have that our whole lives. The more I solved things for him or carry the load in calming him down - the less he was learning on his own - about how to calm HIMSELF down? If you always are there to tie his shoes - he'll never tie them himself. Sometimes the best thing you can do in these situations is just smile and say "I'm here if you need to talk." Then let it go. And as far as future contact if any with this young lady? Honey - I wouldn't do A THING without her Father and Mother or a good camera video being there. You can't fix her - but you can help your son to learn better coping skills. And let him do it on his own except for driving him to and from therapy - my son has learned some exercises on how to help himself when he's angry and I see him using them when I am not around - and I'm just glad. Hugs Another Mother of a 17 year old boy trying to fit in somewhere Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Am I a Meddling Mom? Sorry it's long
Top