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Am I a Meddling Mom? Sorry it's long
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<blockquote data-quote="FlowerGarden" data-source="post: 132554" data-attributes="member: 3068"><p>All of you have contributed such wonderful advice. Thanks so much. To update you, difficult child's counselor at his program really helped him. She said to him, in front of me, "she's not being very supportive, is she?". He replied with no. So, she said that they would talk about it in group sessions. </p><p></p><p>Well, difficult child and girlfriend made up and decided to go along with plans they had to go out to eat Friday. They were supposed to go out for an early dinner. He left here to go get her but she decided that she wanted to take a nap and wanted to go out later for dinner. Now, her whole issue the other day was that she'd only get to see him one day. If that's the case, why did she push back the time the were to go out?</p><p></p><p>husband & I had just gone to bed last night when girlfriend came upstairs all upset and wanted to go to the hospital because he couldn't take life anymore. I tried to reason with him to take the medication he has to help calm down. He felt he was too out of control and the medication wouldn't help him fast enough. His phone was going of like crazy and he ignored it while talking to us. I got out of bed and he ran down to answer his phone. I could only hear his end of the conversation. girlfriend got into a fight with her mom and her parents called the police. girlfriend told him not to tell me what happened and that my husband & I hate her! She told difficult child that it was all his fault that she had the fight with her mom and they had to call the police. She had the fight with her because he didn't answer the phone when he came to wake husband & I up!</p><p></p><p>difficult child told me that he'd take his medication to try to calm down. girlfriend wound up being taken to the police station. difficult child kept trying to calm her over the phone and was doing a decent job of it. She kept telling him that she was going all different places, hospital, a relative's in New Hampshire, etc. </p><p></p><p>A coping skill that difficult child uses is to go somewhere to keep busy. Well, at 1 in the morning with it snowing out, there's not much you can do. So, I took him to a diner that's open 24 hrs. </p><p></p><p>girlfriend & family got very upset when they found out that we were at the diner. Her dad text messaged difficult child saying that difficult child just wanted attention and that girlfriend was no longer to see him. Well, girlfriend still kept calling and texting difficult child that she never wanted to see or talk to him again. Well, stop calling him then, duh. He told me that he kept answering because her parents & police had told her to contact him at times to try to calm her down. So, he wouldn't turn the phone off.</p><p></p><p>Wondering what set this whole thing off last night? She got mad at him for not staying up and talking on the phone with her the night before!!</p><p></p><p>difficult child did realize last night what she has been doing to him. I told him that I was glad he did come around and take his medication & use his coping skills. I was proud of the way he handled all the phone calls.</p><p></p><p>Today we are going to have to work on not talking about her in a demeaning way. He's already called her a few cuss words to me.</p><p></p><p>This girl can be very sweet and helpful in calming difficult child and motivating him. Unfortunately, she really knows how to manipulate him, too.</p><p></p><p>Also, I found out that she has been taking things of his. difficult child kept thinking it was one of his brothers taking some of his clothing. He told me that he realized it was her when she went into her purse to get something and he saw that she had his hoodie in it!</p><p></p><p>Please keep your fingers crossed as I feel the next week is going to be a lot of name bashing between the two off them. Hopefully, they stay parted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FlowerGarden, post: 132554, member: 3068"] All of you have contributed such wonderful advice. Thanks so much. To update you, difficult child's counselor at his program really helped him. She said to him, in front of me, "she's not being very supportive, is she?". He replied with no. So, she said that they would talk about it in group sessions. Well, difficult child and girlfriend made up and decided to go along with plans they had to go out to eat Friday. They were supposed to go out for an early dinner. He left here to go get her but she decided that she wanted to take a nap and wanted to go out later for dinner. Now, her whole issue the other day was that she'd only get to see him one day. If that's the case, why did she push back the time the were to go out? husband & I had just gone to bed last night when girlfriend came upstairs all upset and wanted to go to the hospital because he couldn't take life anymore. I tried to reason with him to take the medication he has to help calm down. He felt he was too out of control and the medication wouldn't help him fast enough. His phone was going of like crazy and he ignored it while talking to us. I got out of bed and he ran down to answer his phone. I could only hear his end of the conversation. girlfriend got into a fight with her mom and her parents called the police. girlfriend told him not to tell me what happened and that my husband & I hate her! She told difficult child that it was all his fault that she had the fight with her mom and they had to call the police. She had the fight with her because he didn't answer the phone when he came to wake husband & I up! difficult child told me that he'd take his medication to try to calm down. girlfriend wound up being taken to the police station. difficult child kept trying to calm her over the phone and was doing a decent job of it. She kept telling him that she was going all different places, hospital, a relative's in New Hampshire, etc. A coping skill that difficult child uses is to go somewhere to keep busy. Well, at 1 in the morning with it snowing out, there's not much you can do. So, I took him to a diner that's open 24 hrs. girlfriend & family got very upset when they found out that we were at the diner. Her dad text messaged difficult child saying that difficult child just wanted attention and that girlfriend was no longer to see him. Well, girlfriend still kept calling and texting difficult child that she never wanted to see or talk to him again. Well, stop calling him then, duh. He told me that he kept answering because her parents & police had told her to contact him at times to try to calm her down. So, he wouldn't turn the phone off. Wondering what set this whole thing off last night? She got mad at him for not staying up and talking on the phone with her the night before!! difficult child did realize last night what she has been doing to him. I told him that I was glad he did come around and take his medication & use his coping skills. I was proud of the way he handled all the phone calls. Today we are going to have to work on not talking about her in a demeaning way. He's already called her a few cuss words to me. This girl can be very sweet and helpful in calming difficult child and motivating him. Unfortunately, she really knows how to manipulate him, too. Also, I found out that she has been taking things of his. difficult child kept thinking it was one of his brothers taking some of his clothing. He told me that he realized it was her when she went into her purse to get something and he saw that she had his hoodie in it! Please keep your fingers crossed as I feel the next week is going to be a lot of name bashing between the two off them. Hopefully, they stay parted. [/QUOTE]
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