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Am I doing the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 737727" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>First, I'm sending you a big ((HUG))</p><p></p><p>Everything you are feeling is normal. I would be worried if you didn't. I am proud of you for sticking to the rules and boundaries you set. Your son needs to learn that you and your husband will not be manipulated by him.</p><p></p><p>Give him a list of shelters and places he can get a meal. It's perfectly fine to give him a blanket and even some power bars but what ever you do, please don't give him money. More times than not, when we give our difficult adult kids money they will use it for drugs or alcohol.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, it's a double edge sword that cuts us to our core. You might want to consider just texting him. I have found with my son, it's much easier to communicate via a written word than actually speaking and hearing the desperation in their voice. </p><p></p><p>Bottom line, your son has some serious choices to make but the choices are his alone. The best thing you can do for him is to not enable him. At some point he needs to learn how to deal with life on his own. I've said it many times here, you don't want to wake up one day and realize you are an 80 year old woman who still takes care of a 60 year old difficult child. All of us parents here will not be around forever and it's much better for our adult kids to learn how deal with life now, rather than when we are gone. </p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 737727, member: 18516"] First, I'm sending you a big ((HUG)) Everything you are feeling is normal. I would be worried if you didn't. I am proud of you for sticking to the rules and boundaries you set. Your son needs to learn that you and your husband will not be manipulated by him. Give him a list of shelters and places he can get a meal. It's perfectly fine to give him a blanket and even some power bars but what ever you do, please don't give him money. More times than not, when we give our difficult adult kids money they will use it for drugs or alcohol. Yes, it's a double edge sword that cuts us to our core. You might want to consider just texting him. I have found with my son, it's much easier to communicate via a written word than actually speaking and hearing the desperation in their voice. Bottom line, your son has some serious choices to make but the choices are his alone. The best thing you can do for him is to not enable him. At some point he needs to learn how to deal with life on his own. I've said it many times here, you don't want to wake up one day and realize you are an 80 year old woman who still takes care of a 60 year old difficult child. All of us parents here will not be around forever and it's much better for our adult kids to learn how deal with life now, rather than when we are gone. :staystrong::notalone: [/QUOTE]
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