My son is 19, Bipolar, ADhD. My Husband and I have done all we can to support him. He graduated alternative school last year. He has had 2 jobs since graduating, each one held for about 3 weeks. We have set boundaries regarding paying his car insurance. No pay, no play! He sees a wonderful therapist on a regular basis who is supportive of our boundaries and consequences. She makes sure that our son understands the rules and the consequences. Son smokes pot and we are NOT ok with that at all. We had him sign a contract with us that if he smokes pot in our house or is in possession of pot in our house, then he can no longer live under our roof. Therapist knew about the contract and made sure he understood it and made sure I would follow through with the consequences. He was caught smoking pot yesterday in our house. We sat him down, asked if he remembered the contract and knew what the consequence was. He said that he did. We told him he can no longer live with us until he can pass a drug screen. We assured him we love him and we want him home, but we have 2 younger children who need a more stable household. He needs to follow our rules and set a better example. He basically said he would just consider it a permanent move out and “figure his stuff out on his own”. We said that was fine, but reiterated that he can come home anytime as long as he passes a drug screen and submits to random screens once he is home. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My husband cried and I was the strong one, which is usually the other way around. There has just been too much disrespect for us, our family, our home. Total lack of consideration for all that we do for him. We have given him every chance under the sun. We are totally willing to pay the car insurance if he would just put forth SOME kind of effort to be responsible and work towards a better future for himself. Whether it is working, training, volunteering, going to school, anything. But sitting around doing nothing and not following the rules or helping out around the house and arguing about everything is not going to get us to pay his car insurance or continue to allow him to do nothing. Breaking the no pot in the house rule was the final straw. I can’t believe we actually asked him to leave. Now I just need the support that I did the right thing and the strength to continue my follow through. He left with hugs and “I Love You”s. Although he is 19, sometimes he seems so much younger. Did I really just abandon my mentally ill child? Is this the best thing for him? Am I doing the right thing?