Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Am I enabling by feeding my son?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 628962" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>I don't think you have to disown your son at all. You just don't want to help him continue to harm himself and/or others. This includes you and your husband and young daughter.</p><p></p><p>You stated that he is using drugs, i.e. pot and probably speed, plus driving under the influence and resisting arrest. Your son has a substance abuse problem. You did not cause it, but nor can you fix it. It is not your responsibility to fix it, and only he can fix it. You can, however, enable him to keep using.</p><p></p><p>I suspect your son is continuing to work only part-time and using your home to get meals, naps, and showers, because of his substance abuse issues. If he were healthy and free from drugs, he could better function physically, mentally, and emotionally, and focus his time and energy on his short- and long-term goals in life. The more comfortable you make it for him to stay where he is at, the more likely he is to stay where he is at. And I do believe that supporting him with food, shelter, sleeping quarters, and showering facilities is enabling because it allows him to use the money he is not spending on these things for drugs.</p><p></p><p>As long as your son is abusing substances, he will be affected by them and unable to be his best self. Do not be naive about this. Until he gets successful treatment, a job is not the answer to his problems. Think about your daughter, so young yet, who needs and deserves your protection. Do you trust your son in your home? Might he steal from you to support his drug habit? Might he leave his drugs or dangerous items, such as lighters, laying around somewhere that your daughter could find them and worse, use or take them? Would he ever leave the house, impaired, with your daughter in the car? Might your daughter witness him using and high? What if other addicts he knows stop by the house when you aren't home? What if your son hides or stores his drugs on your property, and then you are found responsible in some way for it? I know your husband has controlling tendencies, but to be honest, I would also not be comfortable with a drug addict in my home for any time or any reason, especially with a younger child in the house. We are in a similar situation, and as a result, difficult child cannot live here any more.</p><p></p><p>I hope your son can get the treatment he needs. He needs to participate in treatment to get well again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 628962, member: 4855"] I don't think you have to disown your son at all. You just don't want to help him continue to harm himself and/or others. This includes you and your husband and young daughter. You stated that he is using drugs, i.e. pot and probably speed, plus driving under the influence and resisting arrest. Your son has a substance abuse problem. You did not cause it, but nor can you fix it. It is not your responsibility to fix it, and only he can fix it. You can, however, enable him to keep using. I suspect your son is continuing to work only part-time and using your home to get meals, naps, and showers, because of his substance abuse issues. If he were healthy and free from drugs, he could better function physically, mentally, and emotionally, and focus his time and energy on his short- and long-term goals in life. The more comfortable you make it for him to stay where he is at, the more likely he is to stay where he is at. And I do believe that supporting him with food, shelter, sleeping quarters, and showering facilities is enabling because it allows him to use the money he is not spending on these things for drugs. As long as your son is abusing substances, he will be affected by them and unable to be his best self. Do not be naive about this. Until he gets successful treatment, a job is not the answer to his problems. Think about your daughter, so young yet, who needs and deserves your protection. Do you trust your son in your home? Might he steal from you to support his drug habit? Might he leave his drugs or dangerous items, such as lighters, laying around somewhere that your daughter could find them and worse, use or take them? Would he ever leave the house, impaired, with your daughter in the car? Might your daughter witness him using and high? What if other addicts he knows stop by the house when you aren't home? What if your son hides or stores his drugs on your property, and then you are found responsible in some way for it? I know your husband has controlling tendencies, but to be honest, I would also not be comfortable with a drug addict in my home for any time or any reason, especially with a younger child in the house. We are in a similar situation, and as a result, difficult child cannot live here any more. I hope your son can get the treatment he needs. He needs to participate in treatment to get well again. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Am I enabling by feeding my son?
Top