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Am I horrible?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 609405" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You are FAR from horrible. You are an incredibly loving grandmother who recognizes that her grandchild is beign turned into a spoiled monster by her father's laziness. I know Cory has some problems now, but he is LAZY in raising her. </p><p></p><p>My children HAD to learn limits and manners because otherwise I would have ended up abusing them. I know myself and know that if they had done this type of thing, at some point I would have totally lost it and beaten them black and blue. I knew this LONG before I even was told I could not have them, much less had them. So I figured out that I had to teach them basics to save all of us. It isn't easy to parent, but in the long run it is vastly better than to not parent.</p><p></p><p>Cory needs to have his tush kicked until he is doing what the child NEEDS.</p><p></p><p>NO way does a 2yo need to be in Billy's room at any time unless HE wants her there and is supervising her. Cory needs to replace the computer that the child ruined. Period. As a parent if your child is allowed to ruin something, you are responsible for replacing it. </p><p></p><p>She isn't too little to learn, and she IS learning that she can do what she wants because Daddy and Gpa iwll yell at you if she gets upset. This is BAD. He is creating a difficult child and in my opinion that is cruel and wrong. You can tell him I said so if you want. in my opinion it is incredibly cruel to teach a child she can have/do whatever she wants because then she ends up iwth no friends, no real relationships, parents who love her but cannot stand her, and a world that will kick her tushie and kick it hard. SHe won't understand why no one likes her and she has no friends or loved ones, or why she cannot keep a job. </p><p></p><p>This is NOT what I think will happen. It is what we have ALL seen happen over and over. Cory needs to get up and make it stop every time. You cannot just say no. You have to make no happen or not say it. Not doing this is passive child abuse because it is designing your child's entire life to be difficult and a failure. The lucky few learn these lessons on their own, most end up being very confused difficult children who just know they are entitled to everything they want, when and how they want it, but they don't understand why no one will give them all of that before they even ask for it. </p><p></p><p>I think it is time to have a heart to heart iwth Cory about the future of this child if he won't parent her. Setting limits is not mean, it is the most loving thing you can possibly do. It isn't easy, or fun, esp if you have spent a couple of years not parenting at all.But it will be SOOOOOOOOO much harder to start it a few years down the road when school is calling and the cops are bringing her home for causing trouble, etc..... </p><p></p><p>Loving, caring parents set limits and enforce them. they do NOT let kids run wild and and then end up in trouble because the parents are too lazy to set and enforce limits. </p><p></p><p>Get the boy a copy of Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, make him READ it, and then make Gpa and Billy read it. Then DO it. This will likely save her future and give her years of an actual positive future. </p><p></p><p>You are a great mom, and gma, and you are NOT horrible for seeing that this is not working and is not okay.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 609405, member: 1233"] You are FAR from horrible. You are an incredibly loving grandmother who recognizes that her grandchild is beign turned into a spoiled monster by her father's laziness. I know Cory has some problems now, but he is LAZY in raising her. My children HAD to learn limits and manners because otherwise I would have ended up abusing them. I know myself and know that if they had done this type of thing, at some point I would have totally lost it and beaten them black and blue. I knew this LONG before I even was told I could not have them, much less had them. So I figured out that I had to teach them basics to save all of us. It isn't easy to parent, but in the long run it is vastly better than to not parent. Cory needs to have his tush kicked until he is doing what the child NEEDS. NO way does a 2yo need to be in Billy's room at any time unless HE wants her there and is supervising her. Cory needs to replace the computer that the child ruined. Period. As a parent if your child is allowed to ruin something, you are responsible for replacing it. She isn't too little to learn, and she IS learning that she can do what she wants because Daddy and Gpa iwll yell at you if she gets upset. This is BAD. He is creating a difficult child and in my opinion that is cruel and wrong. You can tell him I said so if you want. in my opinion it is incredibly cruel to teach a child she can have/do whatever she wants because then she ends up iwth no friends, no real relationships, parents who love her but cannot stand her, and a world that will kick her tushie and kick it hard. SHe won't understand why no one likes her and she has no friends or loved ones, or why she cannot keep a job. This is NOT what I think will happen. It is what we have ALL seen happen over and over. Cory needs to get up and make it stop every time. You cannot just say no. You have to make no happen or not say it. Not doing this is passive child abuse because it is designing your child's entire life to be difficult and a failure. The lucky few learn these lessons on their own, most end up being very confused difficult children who just know they are entitled to everything they want, when and how they want it, but they don't understand why no one will give them all of that before they even ask for it. I think it is time to have a heart to heart iwth Cory about the future of this child if he won't parent her. Setting limits is not mean, it is the most loving thing you can possibly do. It isn't easy, or fun, esp if you have spent a couple of years not parenting at all.But it will be SOOOOOOOOO much harder to start it a few years down the road when school is calling and the cops are bringing her home for causing trouble, etc..... Loving, caring parents set limits and enforce them. they do NOT let kids run wild and and then end up in trouble because the parents are too lazy to set and enforce limits. Get the boy a copy of Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, make him READ it, and then make Gpa and Billy read it. Then DO it. This will likely save her future and give her years of an actual positive future. You are a great mom, and gma, and you are NOT horrible for seeing that this is not working and is not okay. [/QUOTE]
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