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Am I out of line
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 189744" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I do understand your husband's position. There is the debt, the wanting to help and the being busy. I also understand your issue of not wanting to leave the kids alone that long. Can a compromise be found -- maybe husband can work for 2 hours, go home for a half-hour or so, back for another couple, etc.?</p><p> </p><p>Considering that husband is helping friends and the wife does not work, it seems like she could volunteer to have the kids over regardless of whether or not the kids all get along or whether your son doesn't behave perfectly. </p><p> </p><p>I don't see it as your husband picking friends over family. I think it is more that he feels he has an obligation to help and is old-fashioned enough to think it is important to pay back. To do less would be a demeaning of his core values and those do have to come before family for basic inner survival. He also believes the kids are safe and, so far, they've proven that's the case. It is going to be hard to get him to not help. I doubt he can do that and be comfortable with himself. He believes the kids are safe and that makes it hard for him to understand your fears. Hopefully, he will listen to you and respect your fears so that something can be worked out. I think you're right but I see his viewpoint (and, from the sound of it, so do you).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 189744, member: 3626"] I do understand your husband's position. There is the debt, the wanting to help and the being busy. I also understand your issue of not wanting to leave the kids alone that long. Can a compromise be found -- maybe husband can work for 2 hours, go home for a half-hour or so, back for another couple, etc.? Considering that husband is helping friends and the wife does not work, it seems like she could volunteer to have the kids over regardless of whether or not the kids all get along or whether your son doesn't behave perfectly. I don't see it as your husband picking friends over family. I think it is more that he feels he has an obligation to help and is old-fashioned enough to think it is important to pay back. To do less would be a demeaning of his core values and those do have to come before family for basic inner survival. He also believes the kids are safe and, so far, they've proven that's the case. It is going to be hard to get him to not help. I doubt he can do that and be comfortable with himself. He believes the kids are safe and that makes it hard for him to understand your fears. Hopefully, he will listen to you and respect your fears so that something can be worked out. I think you're right but I see his viewpoint (and, from the sound of it, so do you). [/QUOTE]
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