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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 189777" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad you are aware of what is OK in YOUR state/area as far as leaving kids home alone. I was truly shocked to find the age for our town - it seems very old to me. It was explained to me (by my husband's ex=fiance who ended up the guardian ad litem for the other boy by coincidence) that our town is a university town and the rules are set up because MANY college kids/grad students have kids and leave them alone at very early ages. We also ahve a very intense focus on "child protection" - not necessarily CPS but along those lines - and the policy makers felt the ages ensured more safety.</p><p> </p><p>I do not necessarily agree with the rules here - Jess was FINE alone for a short time (and hour or so while I picked up thank you) and indeed thrived on the "alone time". </p><p> </p><p>I just wanted to be sure you checked the rules/laws for your area - it would be a tragedy if your husband was trying to do the right thing (pay back the debt in labor to the friend) and ended up with you all in a major legal battle.</p><p> </p><p>Around here my Jess has always taken the "in charge" role with the siblings - even with Wiz at times. She seems to have common sense which the boys do not - events of this week not withstanding, LOL! - </p><p> </p><p>Do you have neighbors who could support the kids in case of an emergency? with-o feeling funny and calling CPS or the cops? (I don't know about everywhere, but HERE CPS makes their own rules and they may or may not agree with the laws).</p><p> </p><p>I am glad you wrote a note to husband. I find that if a big problem comes up husband and I work better together if we communicate in writing. we are each very careful about what we write down so that we get to the real meat of the issue. </p><p> </p><p>It may be that it is a good thing in the long run for the kdis to be home alone for a time. It certainly will foster a sense of self-sufficiency (spelling?) and an "i can do that: attitude.</p><p> </p><p>I did NOT post OUR legal restrictions to make you (or anyone) feel that they are doing something wrong if they didn't follow OUR town's rules. There is a reason each state/region has its own rules. this is one of them.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, it is a neat thing that the kids get along well when no parent is around. It may be a good thing for their future relationship as siblings. </p><p> </p><p>One thing that might come in handy, or not based on the family, is something I used to have for babysitting jobs. i would have a bag or box of special activities, books and music that I only took to babysitting jobs. If you had a box of special items (garage sale or thrift store stuff is a great resource) that can ONLY be used when they are home alone - it would give them something to look forward to and to keep them busy when dad is away while you are working. Something to look forward to.</p><p> </p><p>The other suggestion I have is to take each child out for a "date" - dessert at a restaurant, some splurge, to talk in depth about how they feel during these periods of being left alone, and to find out what activities woudl be interesting. It gives them individual attention and it helps you see what is going on. I used to use this with the kids when things were tense and also to help set the curriculum for homeschooling.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, these are my ramblings.</p><p> </p><p>I sincerely hope I did NOT offend anyone about posting our area age restrictions. I only meant that it is important to know the legal issues and to use these as a part of evaluating what needs to happen.</p><p> </p><p>And I hear you about raising husband's as kids. You should feel proud, though, that your husband feels strongly about paying back the labor debt to these people who helped you. That is a great quality to encourage.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 189777, member: 1233"] I am glad you are aware of what is OK in YOUR state/area as far as leaving kids home alone. I was truly shocked to find the age for our town - it seems very old to me. It was explained to me (by my husband's ex=fiance who ended up the guardian ad litem for the other boy by coincidence) that our town is a university town and the rules are set up because MANY college kids/grad students have kids and leave them alone at very early ages. We also ahve a very intense focus on "child protection" - not necessarily CPS but along those lines - and the policy makers felt the ages ensured more safety. I do not necessarily agree with the rules here - Jess was FINE alone for a short time (and hour or so while I picked up thank you) and indeed thrived on the "alone time". I just wanted to be sure you checked the rules/laws for your area - it would be a tragedy if your husband was trying to do the right thing (pay back the debt in labor to the friend) and ended up with you all in a major legal battle. Around here my Jess has always taken the "in charge" role with the siblings - even with Wiz at times. She seems to have common sense which the boys do not - events of this week not withstanding, LOL! - Do you have neighbors who could support the kids in case of an emergency? with-o feeling funny and calling CPS or the cops? (I don't know about everywhere, but HERE CPS makes their own rules and they may or may not agree with the laws). I am glad you wrote a note to husband. I find that if a big problem comes up husband and I work better together if we communicate in writing. we are each very careful about what we write down so that we get to the real meat of the issue. It may be that it is a good thing in the long run for the kdis to be home alone for a time. It certainly will foster a sense of self-sufficiency (spelling?) and an "i can do that: attitude. I did NOT post OUR legal restrictions to make you (or anyone) feel that they are doing something wrong if they didn't follow OUR town's rules. There is a reason each state/region has its own rules. this is one of them. Anyway, it is a neat thing that the kids get along well when no parent is around. It may be a good thing for their future relationship as siblings. One thing that might come in handy, or not based on the family, is something I used to have for babysitting jobs. i would have a bag or box of special activities, books and music that I only took to babysitting jobs. If you had a box of special items (garage sale or thrift store stuff is a great resource) that can ONLY be used when they are home alone - it would give them something to look forward to and to keep them busy when dad is away while you are working. Something to look forward to. The other suggestion I have is to take each child out for a "date" - dessert at a restaurant, some splurge, to talk in depth about how they feel during these periods of being left alone, and to find out what activities woudl be interesting. It gives them individual attention and it helps you see what is going on. I used to use this with the kids when things were tense and also to help set the curriculum for homeschooling. Anyway, these are my ramblings. I sincerely hope I did NOT offend anyone about posting our area age restrictions. I only meant that it is important to know the legal issues and to use these as a part of evaluating what needs to happen. And I hear you about raising husband's as kids. You should feel proud, though, that your husband feels strongly about paying back the labor debt to these people who helped you. That is a great quality to encourage. [/QUOTE]
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