Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Am I over reacting???
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 103178" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's wrong. It's unfair. But it happens.</p><p></p><p>This is why we home-school. If difficult child 3 kicks ME (not that he ever does except accidentally), we deal with it immediately.</p><p></p><p>We had this problem with difficult child 3 as well. He was the weird kid, so whenever there was a fight which involved difficult child 3, he was blamed as starting it even though we had witnesses to show he was often just defending himself, or lashing out in frustration after being needled (sometimes literally - one boy used to stick sharp things into him, we had witnesses) difficult child 3 would still be blamed and put on detention.</p><p>One day he saw a boy arrive at school - boy looked like he was in tears. difficult child 3 (surprisingly showing empathy) went up to comfort the boy, who stiff-armed him away. Boy's friend then hit difficult child 3 and called him names. difficult child 3 then hit boy's friend in return. Boy's mother reports difficult child 3 for hitting boy's friend - she may not have witnessed everything - even though it all began with her son. And of course, boy's mother was a teacher at the school. difficult child 3 ends up on detention, other boys involved get off scot free. Again. difficult child 3 is wondering why trying to comfort someone leads to being clobbered then getting detention. And why hitting back is wrong for him, but other kids hitting him do not get into trouble.</p><p></p><p>This happened over and over, and caused difficult child 3 to develop a lot of really bad behaviours. When we finally transferred him to a school where bullying and physical attack is dealt with severely, we saw something highly revealing - difficult child 3 was being called names by a kid. difficult child 3 then said to the kid, "You're going to hit me now." The kid, to his credit, went and got a teacher. I think the kid thought difficult child 3 was trying to goad him to hit; in fact, difficult child 3 was simply saying, "These are the rules as I understand them. First you call me names, then you beat me up, then I get on detention. I don't like it but it always happens so let's get it over with."</p><p></p><p>A kid who thinks like this is going to be a behaviour problem in a school, unless this thinking can be changed by fairer treatment and close supervision for a while until he 'gets it'.</p><p></p><p>There are good teachers out there. And there are teachers like your friend. And remember the teacher who put difficult child 3 on detention when it all started from difficult child 3 trying to comfort her son? She is a friend of mine also. Didn't stop her. Because as always, your own child comes first in your priorities.</p><p></p><p>I still chat to my friend, she still asks after difficult child 3 (I think she does care, even though she has a funny way of showing it) but as with a lot of people for different reasons, there are some things I will not talk about with her.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 103178, member: 1991"] It's wrong. It's unfair. But it happens. This is why we home-school. If difficult child 3 kicks ME (not that he ever does except accidentally), we deal with it immediately. We had this problem with difficult child 3 as well. He was the weird kid, so whenever there was a fight which involved difficult child 3, he was blamed as starting it even though we had witnesses to show he was often just defending himself, or lashing out in frustration after being needled (sometimes literally - one boy used to stick sharp things into him, we had witnesses) difficult child 3 would still be blamed and put on detention. One day he saw a boy arrive at school - boy looked like he was in tears. difficult child 3 (surprisingly showing empathy) went up to comfort the boy, who stiff-armed him away. Boy's friend then hit difficult child 3 and called him names. difficult child 3 then hit boy's friend in return. Boy's mother reports difficult child 3 for hitting boy's friend - she may not have witnessed everything - even though it all began with her son. And of course, boy's mother was a teacher at the school. difficult child 3 ends up on detention, other boys involved get off scot free. Again. difficult child 3 is wondering why trying to comfort someone leads to being clobbered then getting detention. And why hitting back is wrong for him, but other kids hitting him do not get into trouble. This happened over and over, and caused difficult child 3 to develop a lot of really bad behaviours. When we finally transferred him to a school where bullying and physical attack is dealt with severely, we saw something highly revealing - difficult child 3 was being called names by a kid. difficult child 3 then said to the kid, "You're going to hit me now." The kid, to his credit, went and got a teacher. I think the kid thought difficult child 3 was trying to goad him to hit; in fact, difficult child 3 was simply saying, "These are the rules as I understand them. First you call me names, then you beat me up, then I get on detention. I don't like it but it always happens so let's get it over with." A kid who thinks like this is going to be a behaviour problem in a school, unless this thinking can be changed by fairer treatment and close supervision for a while until he 'gets it'. There are good teachers out there. And there are teachers like your friend. And remember the teacher who put difficult child 3 on detention when it all started from difficult child 3 trying to comfort her son? She is a friend of mine also. Didn't stop her. Because as always, your own child comes first in your priorities. I still chat to my friend, she still asks after difficult child 3 (I think she does care, even though she has a funny way of showing it) but as with a lot of people for different reasons, there are some things I will not talk about with her. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Am I over reacting???
Top