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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 195222" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Everyone's advice to you makes good sense. I agree that you need to stick to your deadline, otherwise it will be that much harder to get a deadline to stick the next go-round.</p><p></p><p>I think a lot of our difficult children are binary. For them something is either ON or it's OFF. All on or all off. I know that whenever I have relaxed a rule for my difficult child because he's been behaving well, or has some excuse or other as to why he can't do whatever it is, I have lived to regret it. In his mind it means "that rule no longer applies. I can break ALL of it"</p><p></p><p>Andy's advice about a safety plan is also spot on. Make sure that you do change the locks. Make sure that they are deadbolt locks, and that you have made arrangements to secure any windows, lofts, attics, garages or cellars where he can get access to the house once you have kicked him out.</p><p></p><p>If you need to serve formal eviction papers, then please do that. </p><p></p><p>It's important to have a Plan B, as Star said, and it is very important to keep yourself safe.</p><p></p><p>As one who has enjoyed every moment of peace since my difficult child left my home, I think you're doing the right thing for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 195222, member: 3907"] Everyone's advice to you makes good sense. I agree that you need to stick to your deadline, otherwise it will be that much harder to get a deadline to stick the next go-round. I think a lot of our difficult children are binary. For them something is either ON or it's OFF. All on or all off. I know that whenever I have relaxed a rule for my difficult child because he's been behaving well, or has some excuse or other as to why he can't do whatever it is, I have lived to regret it. In his mind it means "that rule no longer applies. I can break ALL of it" Andy's advice about a safety plan is also spot on. Make sure that you do change the locks. Make sure that they are deadbolt locks, and that you have made arrangements to secure any windows, lofts, attics, garages or cellars where he can get access to the house once you have kicked him out. If you need to serve formal eviction papers, then please do that. It's important to have a Plan B, as Star said, and it is very important to keep yourself safe. As one who has enjoyed every moment of peace since my difficult child left my home, I think you're doing the right thing for you. [/QUOTE]
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