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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755853" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Bravo. You did exactly the right thing, in my opinion. I am old enough where people did not necessarily have cars. When my parents divorced, my mother had no car. Everything was carried home in bags or a wheeled cart. We were only 3. We were helped because it was "the city" and there was a corner market for quarts of milk or a lb. of ground chuck, a couple of potatoes, etc. But the rest, we brought from the market 6 blocks away. This was not the era of delivery.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, this woman (daughter in law) has a mate, a grown and able man. She has decided to form a new conjugal unit. This is a decision she has made. The unit of responsibility is daughter in law and her new mate. Now, I understand totally your desire to stay involved with her for the children. But it has to be faced that she is growing more entitled and abusive because of your help, which seems to be feeding her sense of power, and diminishing her sense of responsibility.</p><p></p><p>This is not good. She has no power. She is as vulnerable as it is possible to be. Nobody wants her to suffer. But then why should you either? Why should she make you pay a price.</p><p></p><p>Which is to say this: I think she is served by you asserting the reality of the situation as you have done. And you are too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755853, member: 18958"] Bravo. You did exactly the right thing, in my opinion. I am old enough where people did not necessarily have cars. When my parents divorced, my mother had no car. Everything was carried home in bags or a wheeled cart. We were only 3. We were helped because it was "the city" and there was a corner market for quarts of milk or a lb. of ground chuck, a couple of potatoes, etc. But the rest, we brought from the market 6 blocks away. This was not the era of delivery. But the thing is, this woman (daughter in law) has a mate, a grown and able man. She has decided to form a new conjugal unit. This is a decision she has made. The unit of responsibility is daughter in law and her new mate. Now, I understand totally your desire to stay involved with her for the children. But it has to be faced that she is growing more entitled and abusive because of your help, which seems to be feeding her sense of power, and diminishing her sense of responsibility. This is not good. She has no power. She is as vulnerable as it is possible to be. Nobody wants her to suffer. But then why should you either? Why should she make you pay a price. Which is to say this: I think she is served by you asserting the reality of the situation as you have done. And you are too. [/QUOTE]
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