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<blockquote data-quote="skittles" data-source="post: 755855" data-attributes="member: 2484"><p>Thankyou all for the suggestions and ideas. We are in Canada so no food stamps. I dont pay her groceries, just provide transportation. I have really allowed her “learning disability” and resistance to doing anything for herself to manipulate me and since this new boyfriend i am more aware of that than ever. I find im stepping back more and more, hence committing to things for myself such as a new job whereas I used to always consider how other committments would effect my availabilty for her needs, i dont consider it anymore. The more i step back the more demanding she is getting, definately resisting this change. I just recently read the book Codependent no more that many of you have mentioned and its really helped me to start stepping back more. I still do quite a bit I know, such as these shopping trips but Im not going to put off showing her the grocery delivery app anymore (thanks for the push!) And as I said im waiting for everything else to come to a head. She has faced eviction before and i confess, i always ran around in a panic driving her all over to rental places til we found one that would take her, ive paid deposits, movers, even rented uhauls and physically moved her myself (a few years ago lol, not doing that ever again!) At least i was smart enough to never cosign. She has moved 7 times since my 10 year old grandson was born. This time i have not done anything to help. Im tired of it all and its just not fixable anymore. She needs to become homeless and lose the kids. Its taken me a long time to understand that, and i relize she doesnt beleive yet that im going to do nothing. Her phone, cable and internet were cut off this afternoon due to lack of payment as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="skittles, post: 755855, member: 2484"] Thankyou all for the suggestions and ideas. We are in Canada so no food stamps. I dont pay her groceries, just provide transportation. I have really allowed her “learning disability” and resistance to doing anything for herself to manipulate me and since this new boyfriend i am more aware of that than ever. I find im stepping back more and more, hence committing to things for myself such as a new job whereas I used to always consider how other committments would effect my availabilty for her needs, i dont consider it anymore. The more i step back the more demanding she is getting, definately resisting this change. I just recently read the book Codependent no more that many of you have mentioned and its really helped me to start stepping back more. I still do quite a bit I know, such as these shopping trips but Im not going to put off showing her the grocery delivery app anymore (thanks for the push!) And as I said im waiting for everything else to come to a head. She has faced eviction before and i confess, i always ran around in a panic driving her all over to rental places til we found one that would take her, ive paid deposits, movers, even rented uhauls and physically moved her myself (a few years ago lol, not doing that ever again!) At least i was smart enough to never cosign. She has moved 7 times since my 10 year old grandson was born. This time i have not done anything to help. Im tired of it all and its just not fixable anymore. She needs to become homeless and lose the kids. Its taken me a long time to understand that, and i relize she doesnt beleive yet that im going to do nothing. Her phone, cable and internet were cut off this afternoon due to lack of payment as well. [/QUOTE]
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