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An aha! moment for difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 288541" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Barney's mom, it's been a while since I owned the site. </p><p></p><p>Your difficult child was just diagnosed with AS? It's difficult to really pull all the different threads away from the rope that is our kids. </p><p>It's funny about you hearing 2/3's. When difficult child was in elementary school I always felt he had an 18month lag. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child seems to have evolved out of a lot of his AS symptoms. His biggest hurdles are executive function and his learning disability in math. He is gregarious and outgoing and not nearly as obsessed with a topic. He is still louder than typical and wants to talk about his interests. His inability to initiate action or a plan is also difficult when work is involved. He knows enough to ask me to write a list. Everything is specific when I give him instructions. </p><p></p><p>Sheila, I haven't seen you in ages. Thank you.</p><p></p><p>Esther, I agree life lessons happen all through your life but a light bulb moment to me is when a door to understanding opens. I think the technical term is processing the info and the meaning. </p><p></p><p>I am happy to share that Wed. night we had some guests over for a retirement dinner. As I was saying good bye, difficult child came into the kitchen and started to clear dishes and load the dishwasher. He even started washing pots. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/dance.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":dance:" title="dance :dance:" data-shortname=":dance:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bigsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bigsmile:" title="big smile :bigsmile:" data-shortname=":bigsmile:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/9-07bravo.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bravo:" title="bravo :bravo:" data-shortname=":bravo:" />This is big for us. He saw something that needed to be done and actually initiated the action. Not sure a n/t male would do that. Of course, he may have wanted to have company to talk about a subject he likes to talk about, but I'll take the positive and run with it. The kitchen didn't look like when I clean up and there are parts not finished(employment problem) but he did a better job than husband and easy child would have done. The fact that I didn't ask him for help is what really gets me. </p><p>So we are riding a wave of hope and positive thinking in our house. </p><p></p><p>He has always been kind which is an issue we didn't have to deal with. Not every AS teen is able to see kindness beyond the self absorption that is part of the disorder. We did and do have to teach when it's appropriate to help someone before taking care of his own needs. (giving his money to someone who wanted some toy at the detriment of his own budget, or meals.) On the other hand we had to reinforce that sort of learning and balancing with easy child also. Helping and charity is not appropriate when A) it's <strong>MY</strong> money and not his.<strong>B</strong>) he doesn't take care of his own basic needs first. </p><p></p><p>On the other hand, I'm pleased that both of the boys have a sense of reaching out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 288541, member: 3"] Barney's mom, it's been a while since I owned the site. Your difficult child was just diagnosed with AS? It's difficult to really pull all the different threads away from the rope that is our kids. It's funny about you hearing 2/3's. When difficult child was in elementary school I always felt he had an 18month lag. My difficult child seems to have evolved out of a lot of his AS symptoms. His biggest hurdles are executive function and his learning disability in math. He is gregarious and outgoing and not nearly as obsessed with a topic. He is still louder than typical and wants to talk about his interests. His inability to initiate action or a plan is also difficult when work is involved. He knows enough to ask me to write a list. Everything is specific when I give him instructions. Sheila, I haven't seen you in ages. Thank you. Esther, I agree life lessons happen all through your life but a light bulb moment to me is when a door to understanding opens. I think the technical term is processing the info and the meaning. I am happy to share that Wed. night we had some guests over for a retirement dinner. As I was saying good bye, difficult child came into the kitchen and started to clear dishes and load the dishwasher. He even started washing pots. :faint::dance::bigsmile::bravo:This is big for us. He saw something that needed to be done and actually initiated the action. Not sure a n/t male would do that. Of course, he may have wanted to have company to talk about a subject he likes to talk about, but I'll take the positive and run with it. The kitchen didn't look like when I clean up and there are parts not finished(employment problem) but he did a better job than husband and easy child would have done. The fact that I didn't ask him for help is what really gets me. So we are riding a wave of hope and positive thinking in our house. He has always been kind which is an issue we didn't have to deal with. Not every AS teen is able to see kindness beyond the self absorption that is part of the disorder. We did and do have to teach when it's appropriate to help someone before taking care of his own needs. (giving his money to someone who wanted some toy at the detriment of his own budget, or meals.) On the other hand we had to reinforce that sort of learning and balancing with easy child also. Helping and charity is not appropriate when A) it's [B]MY[/B] money and not his.[B]B[/B]) he doesn't take care of his own basic needs first. On the other hand, I'm pleased that both of the boys have a sense of reaching out. [/QUOTE]
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