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General Parenting
An invite to a birthday party equals
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 392481" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>What about going with him and just hanging out in the background very inconspicuously for a little while. Go admire the host's back yard or casually look at their family photos on the shelf, etc. Let him know (ahead of time) you'll stay for a little bit and that you'll be leaving for a few minutes and be right back. Say something like, "I have to go pick up X from store Y quickly, and I'll be right back." Go run a quick errand that only takes 15 minutes or so (or just drive around the block and listen to the radio) and then come back and see how he's doing. The idea is to let him know you are there for him, but that he has to try to manage for a few minutes on his own. You can't expect him to just deal with it at this age when his anxiety is clearly a big issue right now. But you can set things up for him to succeed in small increments. Perhaps with time you will be able to extend the amount of time he's coping on his own until the magic day arrives when he doesn't need you there. Sort of a desensitization process. Your efforts to talk him through it ahead of time are admirable, but I don't think that at his young age he can truly project that far in time and emotionally process it. I think at this point, I wouldn't push the issue. If he wants to go, then just say okay and drop it. Then take him and be prepared to linger.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 392481, member: 3444"] What about going with him and just hanging out in the background very inconspicuously for a little while. Go admire the host's back yard or casually look at their family photos on the shelf, etc. Let him know (ahead of time) you'll stay for a little bit and that you'll be leaving for a few minutes and be right back. Say something like, "I have to go pick up X from store Y quickly, and I'll be right back." Go run a quick errand that only takes 15 minutes or so (or just drive around the block and listen to the radio) and then come back and see how he's doing. The idea is to let him know you are there for him, but that he has to try to manage for a few minutes on his own. You can't expect him to just deal with it at this age when his anxiety is clearly a big issue right now. But you can set things up for him to succeed in small increments. Perhaps with time you will be able to extend the amount of time he's coping on his own until the magic day arrives when he doesn't need you there. Sort of a desensitization process. Your efforts to talk him through it ahead of time are admirable, but I don't think that at his young age he can truly project that far in time and emotionally process it. I think at this point, I wouldn't push the issue. If he wants to go, then just say okay and drop it. Then take him and be prepared to linger. [/QUOTE]
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