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Analogy...
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 444104" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Well, I have mixed feelings about the analogy. I don't think of you as a passenger, but as another driver on the road. If you look at yourself as a passenger, that gives him control over your life ... it means his decisions affect you because you're along for the ride. He crashes, you crash with him, you may not have time to get out of the car before you get hurt. You need to stay out the car, from my perspective. </p><p></p><p>As another driver, you can lead by example. You can model how to drive responsibly, give him directions when he gets lost, offer to help when he breaks down. But if he breaks down because he didn't pay attention to the gas gauge, or didn't change the oil frequently enough, that's on him. At least you're not stranded with him, if you're not in the car. If he ignores your directions and gets lost anyway, you're not lost with him. If he's driving drunk and hurts someone, he might get arrested for DUI or assault.. but at least you're not an accessory. </p><p></p><p>I think detachment means, staying in your own car <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> He can choose to follow, or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 444104, member: 1157"] Well, I have mixed feelings about the analogy. I don't think of you as a passenger, but as another driver on the road. If you look at yourself as a passenger, that gives him control over your life ... it means his decisions affect you because you're along for the ride. He crashes, you crash with him, you may not have time to get out of the car before you get hurt. You need to stay out the car, from my perspective. As another driver, you can lead by example. You can model how to drive responsibly, give him directions when he gets lost, offer to help when he breaks down. But if he breaks down because he didn't pay attention to the gas gauge, or didn't change the oil frequently enough, that's on him. At least you're not stranded with him, if you're not in the car. If he ignores your directions and gets lost anyway, you're not lost with him. If he's driving drunk and hurts someone, he might get arrested for DUI or assault.. but at least you're not an accessory. I think detachment means, staying in your own car :) He can choose to follow, or not. [/QUOTE]
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