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Substance Abuse
And he's going down fast
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 716443" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>That is the single most telling thing when it comes to sobriety. He is not ready for recovery if he is still setting conditions. Experts in recover call it surrender. Until the point comes where your son is willing to let go of the control and do whatever he is told he needs to do in order to get sober, he doesn't really want to be sober. An addict that has been sober for 20 years told me that she didn't get sober until she got to the point where if she was told to jump she would have asked how high and jumped.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was always trying to scheme and get around the rules and do things her way. When she finally said she would do whatever she was told in order to get sober, things changed.</p><p></p><p>by the way, I had to learn to surrender, too. When my daughter was in the last sober living/IOP facility, she had a chance for a great job that would have interfered with her evening IOP and twelve step meetings. I thought that the program should let her miss some of the meetings but she was told no way. They said her recovery had to come first and that there would always be other jobs. I didn't agree at the time but they were absolutely right. </p><p></p><p>I found it interesting when we talked the other night about someone close to her that has relapsed recently. The woman told my daughter she was counting down the days until she could leave the treatment center and my daughter told her that it doesn't work that way. She told her that she had to be willing to listen to the experts and do what they tell her is best.</p><p></p><p>My daughter also told me that I wouldn't believe the crazy stories her friend was telling her like someone had put meth in her food at a fast food restaurant. I told her that I most certainly would since I heard those crazy stories from her. She also said that she found herself doubting whether she was right that the woman was using again since she wanted so desperately to believe that her friend was still sober.</p><p></p><p>Does that ring any bells?</p><p></p><p>I told my daughter that she was experiencing the other side now and it is not pretty.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 716443, member: 1967"] That is the single most telling thing when it comes to sobriety. He is not ready for recovery if he is still setting conditions. Experts in recover call it surrender. Until the point comes where your son is willing to let go of the control and do whatever he is told he needs to do in order to get sober, he doesn't really want to be sober. An addict that has been sober for 20 years told me that she didn't get sober until she got to the point where if she was told to jump she would have asked how high and jumped. My daughter was always trying to scheme and get around the rules and do things her way. When she finally said she would do whatever she was told in order to get sober, things changed. by the way, I had to learn to surrender, too. When my daughter was in the last sober living/IOP facility, she had a chance for a great job that would have interfered with her evening IOP and twelve step meetings. I thought that the program should let her miss some of the meetings but she was told no way. They said her recovery had to come first and that there would always be other jobs. I didn't agree at the time but they were absolutely right. I found it interesting when we talked the other night about someone close to her that has relapsed recently. The woman told my daughter she was counting down the days until she could leave the treatment center and my daughter told her that it doesn't work that way. She told her that she had to be willing to listen to the experts and do what they tell her is best. My daughter also told me that I wouldn't believe the crazy stories her friend was telling her like someone had put meth in her food at a fast food restaurant. I told her that I most certainly would since I heard those crazy stories from her. She also said that she found herself doubting whether she was right that the woman was using again since she wanted so desperately to believe that her friend was still sober. Does that ring any bells? I told my daughter that she was experiencing the other side now and it is not pretty. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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