And he's going down fast


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Just got text from his girlfriend that he was on Xanax blacked out and totaled car. Thinks he has broken fingers and arm numb. Don't know anything more.

Got kicked out of place he was living.

In a hotel room near work so he can at least work she said.

I'm sure they'll fire him.

We're not going to do anything. Husband trying to find out where car is etc. What he hit. Did not get a ticket or anything.

He wants to do drugs.


Well-Known Member
Im very very sorry. Benzos are a horrible addiction. His car is gone? Good. He wont be so lucky while driving intoxicated one day.

I guess he is one who has to learn the hard way. Or not. Up to him.

I hope you can stay detached and be okay.


Well-Known Member
Staff member
I'm sorry.

We're circling the wagons around you RN, we're with're not alone.....hang in know now that this too will change......

Sending you a warm hug.

Snow White

On the Mad Tea Party Ride
So sorry to hear that the landslide is happening to your son, RN. Relieved that he is not seriously injured AND that he didn't cause any injuries to anyone else. This could have been so devastatingly tragic.

Glad that you are trying to not assist him during this time. It will not make things better.

Sending hugs and prayers to you.


Well-Known Member
So so hard. Nobody could do better or be a better mother. He knows what to do. Where to go. Over and over he has picked himself up and righted himself. He has resources and a support system (which are not us. I have a hard time remembering this important reality.) I am so sorry you are going through this.
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Well-Known Member
I'm so, so sorry, RN. So fortunate that he wasn't seriously hurt.

I know how terribly hard it is to not step in at times like this.

Getting high isn't an abstraction now. Things have gotten real for him.

He wants to do drugs.
These are the inevitable consequences of doing drugs.
He's going to have to make a choice.


So sorry. Clearly he has not his bottom yet. And how horrible to have to watch him do this . His choices, you have no control. Hugs and more hugs for your breaking heart. You are not alone....we are all with you !


Well-Known Member
This is progress, RN, believe it or not ~ to reap the consequences of one's own choices / actions.
I try to "give thanks in all things", (I can think of several much worse scenarios), but it is still very painful for all of us.
We're not going to do anything.
Yep. You know the drill. You can do nothing to fix or make it better.

He must find his own way, often repeating the same lessons until (if ever, for some) he learns that the results / consequences are from his own actions, and makes a decision for change. We all keep learning in life, by repeating the same lessons through different scenarios, until we finally get it. For some, it takes longer and more repeating, and a lot of pain in the meantime.

Hold on, courageous soul, warrior mom. You are a wise inspiration, here!
You've got this, RN ! Take care of yourself.
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Active Member
So sorry. Even though I don't know your son, I was so hopeful that leaving SL didn't have to be a disaster. But, you knew, disaster it was.

I hope all our lost children find their way.


Active Member
You knew he was headed in this direction.. you said yourself it was like watching him standing there and a train was rushing towards him.... mom instincts and experience tell us these things. No wonder you have been so anxious and stressed.

Like the others have said, he has resources now, he has experience with recovery tools, and has to figure it out himself. That's the hardest part. Letting them do it. I think because he has such a loving family and other supports he will make the right decision at some point, but in the meantime it's so hard on you all.

Hugs and healing for you .....