And he's going down fast

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by RN0441, Aug 4, 2017.

  1. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Just got text from his girlfriend that he was on Xanax blacked out and totaled car. Thinks he has broken fingers and arm numb. Don't know anything more.

    Got kicked out of place he was living.

    In a hotel room near work so he can at least work she said.

    I'm sure they'll fire him.

    We're not going to do anything. Husband trying to find out where car is etc. What he hit. Did not get a ticket or anything.

    He wants to do drugs.
     
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  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Im very very sorry. Benzos are a horrible addiction. His car is gone? Good. He wont be so lucky while driving intoxicated one day.

    I guess he is one who has to learn the hard way. Or not. Up to him.

    I hope you can stay detached and be okay.
     
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    So sorry this is happening...
     
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry.

    We're circling the wagons around you RN, we're with you.....you're not alone.....hang in there......you know now that this too will change......

    Sending you a warm hug.
     
  5. mamato3

    mamato3 Member

    I'm so very sorry! Sending big hugs your way and prayers for your family.
     
  6. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    This must feel sereal! Prayers and hugs to you all!
     
  7. Snow White

    Snow White Temporarily in the Magic Kingdom

    So sorry to hear that the landslide is happening to your son, RN. Relieved that he is not seriously injured AND that he didn't cause any injuries to anyone else. This could have been so devastatingly tragic.

    Glad that you are trying to not assist him during this time. It will not make things better.

    Sending hugs and prayers to you.
     
  8. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Hugs to you
     
  9. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Suprised girlfriend sticks around
     
  10. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    You knew what was going to happen, you tried to tell him, but he had to do it his way. His choices, his consequences.
     
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  11. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    So so hard. Nobody could do better or be a better mother. He knows what to do. Where to go. Over and over he has picked himself up and righted himself. He has resources and a support system (which are not us. I have a hard time remembering this important reality.) I am so sorry you are going through this.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2017
  12. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I'm so, so sorry, RN. So fortunate that he wasn't seriously hurt.

    I know how terribly hard it is to not step in at times like this.

    Getting high isn't an abstraction now. Things have gotten real for him.

    He wants to do drugs.
    These are the inevitable consequences of doing drugs.
    He's going to have to make a choice.
     
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  13. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    So sorry. Clearly he has not his bottom yet. And how horrible to have to watch him do this . His choices, you have no control. Hugs and more hugs for your breaking heart. You are not alone....we are all with you !
     
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  14. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    This is progress, RN, believe it or not ~ to reap the consequences of one's own choices / actions.
    I try to "give thanks in all things", (I can think of several much worse scenarios), but it is still very painful for all of us.
    Yep. You know the drill. You can do nothing to fix or make it better.

    He must find his own way, often repeating the same lessons until (if ever, for some) he learns that the results / consequences are from his own actions, and makes a decision for change. We all keep learning in life, by repeating the same lessons through different scenarios, until we finally get it. For some, it takes longer and more repeating, and a lot of pain in the meantime.

    Hold on, courageous soul, warrior mom. You are a wise inspiration, here!
    You've got this, RN ! Take care of yourself.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 5, 2017
  15. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Warm hugs for you hurting heart, RN.
     
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  16. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    So sorry RN. Prayers.
     
  17. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    So sorry. Even though I don't know your son, I was so hopeful that leaving SL didn't have to be a disaster. But, you knew, disaster it was.

    I hope all our lost children find their way.
     
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  18. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    You knew he was headed in this direction.. you said yourself it was like watching him standing there and a train was rushing towards him.... mom instincts and experience tell us these things. No wonder you have been so anxious and stressed.

    Like the others have said, he has resources now, he has experience with recovery tools, and has to figure it out himself. That's the hardest part. Letting them do it. I think because he has such a loving family and other supports he will make the right decision at some point, but in the meantime it's so hard on you all.

    Hugs and healing for you .....
     
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  19. bluebell

    bluebell Active Member

    I'm thinking of you RN. So much to say and so many ways to relate. Just know that. Hugs ().
     
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  20. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Me too RN. S