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...and it all falls apart
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 631082" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Lil, I'm sorry. I know, I know. I used to get these calls too. difficult child couldn't seem to handle any issue, any problem that occurred. It was unbelievable. </p><p></p><p>I remember the day I was sitting in an Al-Anon meeting, and in the silence, suddenly, it occurred to me that I didn't have to answer the phone when he called. </p><p></p><p>Out of the blue, this idea surfaced.</p><p></p><p>I had always thought that a good mother always answers the phone when one of her children---even adult children---calls. It wasn't even on my radar screen NOT to answer.</p><p></p><p>I am sure if somebody else had suggested that, I would have instantly rejected the thought.</p><p></p><p>Lil, today, you learned a new tool you can use. It's called voice mail. </p><p></p><p>I would suggest telling him this: I will take no more phone calls from you between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. If you call, I will let the call go to voice mail. I will be glad to talk with you between the hours of 5 p.m. and 9 p.m., if we can have an adult conversation...or whatever you want to say....</p><p></p><p>One boundary at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 631082, member: 17542"] Lil, I'm sorry. I know, I know. I used to get these calls too. difficult child couldn't seem to handle any issue, any problem that occurred. It was unbelievable. I remember the day I was sitting in an Al-Anon meeting, and in the silence, suddenly, it occurred to me that I didn't have to answer the phone when he called. Out of the blue, this idea surfaced. I had always thought that a good mother always answers the phone when one of her children---even adult children---calls. It wasn't even on my radar screen NOT to answer. I am sure if somebody else had suggested that, I would have instantly rejected the thought. Lil, today, you learned a new tool you can use. It's called voice mail. I would suggest telling him this: I will take no more phone calls from you between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. If you call, I will let the call go to voice mail. I will be glad to talk with you between the hours of 5 p.m. and 9 p.m., if we can have an adult conversation...or whatever you want to say.... One boundary at a time. [/QUOTE]
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