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...and it all falls apart
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 631107" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Tish, I've been at my job 20 years as of July 1. It's not exciting or glamorous, I'm in civil service, but I feel I help people, it's got it's moments where it's rewarding, and best of all, it's stable and the pay isn't great for a lawyer, but it's pretty good for civil service. I've got great benefits, retirement I don't even have to pay into, and lots of vacation and sick leave. </p><p></p><p>Not jeopardizing this job for anyone...especially a 19 year old in a tantrum.</p><p></p><p>It's so easy to feel like you need to fix things. When he was in daycare - I would get to work and the phone would ring and I'd have to go back because they couldn't handle his tantrum. Then there was school and doing things associated with that. And he's been so <em>needy</em>. There have been tantrums, and tears, and skinned knees and hurt feelings and I've always been the one to fix things. </p><p></p><p>I just really, truly, can't do it anymore. I'm so tired. I go to bed exhausted and can't sleep and wake up tired. I'm not young anymore. I'm 50 years old and I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and borderline diabetes. I need to take care of myself! I need to get enough rest and lose weight and ... and I never find time and when I have time I'm too tired.</p><p></p><p>I truly wonder sometimes if he's going to make me have a stroke...and if he'd care. Think of all the insurance money if my husband and I died together. </p><p></p><p>That's a horrible thought. He hasn't deserved that. But it's not the worst one I've had. He's just been so difficult for so long. And I KNOW there are worse kids and kids with worst problems. Some of you have had them. I feel bad that I am even complaining here. It could be so much worse.</p><p></p><p>And on that note, think I'll try to go to bed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 631107, member: 17309"] Tish, I've been at my job 20 years as of July 1. It's not exciting or glamorous, I'm in civil service, but I feel I help people, it's got it's moments where it's rewarding, and best of all, it's stable and the pay isn't great for a lawyer, but it's pretty good for civil service. I've got great benefits, retirement I don't even have to pay into, and lots of vacation and sick leave. Not jeopardizing this job for anyone...especially a 19 year old in a tantrum. It's so easy to feel like you need to fix things. When he was in daycare - I would get to work and the phone would ring and I'd have to go back because they couldn't handle his tantrum. Then there was school and doing things associated with that. And he's been so [I]needy[/I]. There have been tantrums, and tears, and skinned knees and hurt feelings and I've always been the one to fix things. I just really, truly, can't do it anymore. I'm so tired. I go to bed exhausted and can't sleep and wake up tired. I'm not young anymore. I'm 50 years old and I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and borderline diabetes. I need to take care of myself! I need to get enough rest and lose weight and ... and I never find time and when I have time I'm too tired. I truly wonder sometimes if he's going to make me have a stroke...and if he'd care. Think of all the insurance money if my husband and I died together. That's a horrible thought. He hasn't deserved that. But it's not the worst one I've had. He's just been so difficult for so long. And I KNOW there are worse kids and kids with worst problems. Some of you have had them. I feel bad that I am even complaining here. It could be so much worse. And on that note, think I'll try to go to bed. [/QUOTE]
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