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Parent Emeritus
...and it all falls apart.
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<blockquote data-quote="JKF" data-source="post: 700544" data-attributes="member: 12470"><p>Stay strong and stick to your boundaries. It hurts them when we say no but it hurts them even more in the long run when we step in and rescue them. I'm a rescuer by nature so it's definitely hard to sit back and do nothing. Trust my word when I tell you it's best to let him figure it out himself. I still occasionally help my son but it's now on my terms. I no longer automatically step in and offer solutions. I let him figure it out himself especially in tough situations which unfortunately is often. I used to look things up for him, make calls, apply for services, find housing, set up appointments, etc. but I leave all of that to him now. And guess what? He does it. He gets angry and makes me feel guilty sometimes but I stick to my boundaries no matter what. It took a long time to break out of the "helping" pattern but it was the best thing I ever did for myself, my family and my son. I rarely post anymore but I often read and I'm always rooting for you lil!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKF, post: 700544, member: 12470"] Stay strong and stick to your boundaries. It hurts them when we say no but it hurts them even more in the long run when we step in and rescue them. I'm a rescuer by nature so it's definitely hard to sit back and do nothing. Trust my word when I tell you it's best to let him figure it out himself. I still occasionally help my son but it's now on my terms. I no longer automatically step in and offer solutions. I let him figure it out himself especially in tough situations which unfortunately is often. I used to look things up for him, make calls, apply for services, find housing, set up appointments, etc. but I leave all of that to him now. And guess what? He does it. He gets angry and makes me feel guilty sometimes but I stick to my boundaries no matter what. It took a long time to break out of the "helping" pattern but it was the best thing I ever did for myself, my family and my son. I rarely post anymore but I often read and I'm always rooting for you lil! [/QUOTE]
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