Well, no reason to attempt to be incognito, my son expects me to post this and if he looks, he looks. Fact is, I'm not disappointed IN him this time, but FOR him. He was set to move into a trailer with a couple he knows. Two bedroom, reasonable rent, he was excited and happy. -Then J raised his ugly head. We spent three hours last night watching him have a major meltdown. J was moving in with him - and he didn't WANT him to. In fact, he wants NOTHING to do with J anymore. He can't be anywhere near J without him mooching off him, cigarettes, soda, beer, money, etc. He's sucking my son dry and he knows it. He doesn't even like J anymore. He truly wishes he'd just disappear. But J is like a stalker. He won't leave him alone. He's actually had fights with him to the point of physically punching J and trying to drag him from our house (when we weren't home) and J refused to leave. I believe he quoted J as saying, "You can't keep me out of your house, just try it." He's even come to where my son works, wanting money, cigarettes, whatever. He goes from antagonistic and bullying to crying, "You're all I've got." If my son refuses he's verbally abusive...really bad, awful things. If this sounds like an abusive marriage, it kind of is. He even said that, "It's like I'm in an abusive relationship and I can't get out." We told him what we know to do. "Tell J you don't want to be friends. You don't want to hang out. You won't give him anything - and stick to it." He's positive that would result in him breaking in, breaking windows, getting him evicted; and coming to his work, starting altercations there and getting him fired. J is homeless and has no job and no money and nothing to lose. My son won't ever call the police. "Snitches get stitches" is the quote I was given. J will, apparently, ruin his life if he doesn't put up with it. Yesterday he told him he didn't want to hang out, he had things to do to get ready to move, etc. J called and left abusive phone messages, and texted more than 10 times. A bunch of other people did too, all wanting to "hang out". He'd told them all he was busy, no one would leave him alone. He was just losing it. Like I said, 3 hours of ranting about J and how everyone treats him like crap. So...today we were in the next town over at a birthday celebration, leaving my son my car to get to work (no buses on Sunday). We stopped at a store and I get a call. My son is in complete melt-down because he can't find his key and lighter. Now, obviously, this is nothing to freak out about; he has my car and house keys and other lighters. But I don't think he really was upset about "nothing ever goes right", which was what he was saying, it was about J. He was so completely irrational. He threatened to kill himself several times but took it back. He was crying and clearly in no shape to go to work. He eventually begged me to call in for him because he wasn't going to. I did, told them he was sick, he was to call them and get a doctor's note or he'd be fired. Eventually it came out he no longer has enough money for the trailer anyway. He had $850 and a paycheck of unknown amount, but more than $100, on Thursday. He now has $650. He's been "helping everyone out". In other words, word got out he had money and the mooches came out of the woodwork. He paid $60 just in gas money going here and there. Frankly, I'm happy he's got that much left. Anyway, turns out he also hasn't signed a lease so there's that. He still has $650 and he isn't legally obligated to do anything. Long story short, like a woman who can't get rid of her stalker any other way, he has decided to leave town. His friend K has money coming from the sale of his grandfather's farm and last I heard, he and my son are planning on going to Colorado. Obvious as to why...but he doesn't know that you apparently have to live in the state 12 months before you can work in that business. I'll tell him that when I hear from him; he's at K's now. He did give us $620 to hold. If J or the other "friends" find him, they can't get what he doesn't have on him. He said he'll call the job and quit, which would be better than being fired. I don't know what I think of this. He knows that he may well be homeless in Colorado. But it is what it is. Not at all sure how I feel...but that he starts over somewhere else seems like a good idea. Do I wish his life goal was to work in a bank instead of a pot-shop? Sure. But it seems like a good thing that he wants away from the people who keep taking advantage of him and making his life harder than it has to be. This is a small town. It would be pretty hard - if not impossible - to do that here.