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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 190808" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>My difficult child also struggles with life not being fair when the other person does not get into trouble. Adults don't always take the time to gather all the facts and usually catch the second person retaliating - never catch the first person causing the problem. Then of course, adults want to teach older kids to not be mean to younger kids no matter what. So, you get the, "I don't care what is going on, you must not do that!" That is so unfair to the kid getting into trouble. That is why bullys are so powerful - they know how to be the 1st person and duck down to the victim status when an adult looks that way. Kids are more open to hearing that they responded incorrectly when we acknowledge their point of view (even if we have to explain that the view point was not quiet right).</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I hope difficult child follows through with talking to the principal. You are correct, he is at the age to start looking for ways to solve his own problems with your guidance of course. If he can learn to go to an authority figure now to discuss something, it will help throughout his life.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck - hang in there difficult child, use your words and talk to adults - you will do well. - I think it is awesome that you are willing to follow your mom's advice and talk to the principal. Maybe mom can help you write down an outline of things you would like to discuss. She can help you find the right words?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 190808, member: 5096"] My difficult child also struggles with life not being fair when the other person does not get into trouble. Adults don't always take the time to gather all the facts and usually catch the second person retaliating - never catch the first person causing the problem. Then of course, adults want to teach older kids to not be mean to younger kids no matter what. So, you get the, "I don't care what is going on, you must not do that!" That is so unfair to the kid getting into trouble. That is why bullys are so powerful - they know how to be the 1st person and duck down to the victim status when an adult looks that way. Kids are more open to hearing that they responded incorrectly when we acknowledge their point of view (even if we have to explain that the view point was not quiet right). Anyway, I hope difficult child follows through with talking to the principal. You are correct, he is at the age to start looking for ways to solve his own problems with your guidance of course. If he can learn to go to an authority figure now to discuss something, it will help throughout his life. Good luck - hang in there difficult child, use your words and talk to adults - you will do well. - I think it is awesome that you are willing to follow your mom's advice and talk to the principal. Maybe mom can help you write down an outline of things you would like to discuss. She can help you find the right words? [/QUOTE]
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